Help needed for family member

Hello everyone.

My brother-in-law is a very big man (25 years old). He is a great guy, and not having any siblings myself he really is the closest thing I have to a brother. He lives an unhealthy life style, smokes and drinks and won't cook for himself at his home. I could care less about his life style and his size, if he was happy. What really upsets me is that he is depressed and hates himself. He recently lost a job he has been doing for nearly 10 years, becuase his back problems won't allow him to labour any more.

My wife is always upset about it, she doesn't know what to do. His parents really arn't helping because his dad clams up and his mom will just nag and yell at him. They think he needs to start execising and eating right and he will magically become healthy and happy. The whole thing irritates me, because I know it's not that simple.

Does anyone have any advice? I want him to be happy, we do not want to loose him.

He lives in Northern Alberta.

Thanks in advance.

How much have you discussed the problem with him?  Does he want to change things?  If he is very depressed he may need some help to get to a doctor and deal with it.

Does he know people who have had weight loss surgery and if so what has he said about them. how does he feel about taking action for himself?

I know how hard it is to sit by and watch a close relative in so much pain.  Sometimes it takes a person (doctor etc.) who isn't emotional about the issues to help them.

If he expresses interest about losing the weight , surgery or otherwise, get him onto this site and the groups here  for some inspiration and information.

Good luck to you both.