Today is exactly one year since my RNY Surgery!!
It is so hard to beleive that a year has gone by. I feel like I havee not come far enough in my weightloss, and yet I know that I have. I was hoping to be in the 200's though. I am not there yet but do see some hope for this to come. I feel a bit of pressure on myself to get it lost. I am engaged and have my wedding 07-04-12 and I so want a pretty dress. I need to be down another few sizes though to really wear the plus size wedding dresses at the bridal shops. I am so nervous I will not be able to fit into them. At least I will have underwear on... since about a year and a half ago I was not able to wear underwear cause I was so big. But you know what I am talking about with my desires. Right?
Well today has been nothing special. I feel like I am running around in my own failing world sometimes.... like thinking that I maybe do not have all of me and this together and then at other times I know that I am doing ok and making this happen in my life. Maybe it is that I know that I am making the right choices but the bad choices still try to enter into my lifes picture and then I have to actually take action in my choices to make the right ones. This is when I have to self talk to me. I AM AWARE!! I FEEL LIKE I AM ON CONSTANT GAURD WITH FOOD AROUND ME!! I feel sometimes like I am out of reality. I am so excited about all of my changes. I still sometimes fight the love of food and the comforts and fun it has provided. But on the flip side I know the misery and discomforts it has given to me also. I know that I choose to be alive and to live. Not to be alive and not able to live.
Ok ok... so I have my swim suit on and was going to go swimming early today. Now I am back to finish this Christmas decorating. I have decided to swim tonight. I usually swim in the evening.
OK, so Happy Surgiversary to me todayn
Well today has been nothing special. I feel like I am running around in my own failing world sometimes.... like thinking that I maybe do not have all of me and this together and then at other times I know that I am doing ok and making this happen in my life. Maybe it is that I know that I am making the right choices but the bad choices still try to enter into my lifes picture and then I have to actually take action in my choices to make the right ones. This is when I have to self talk to me. I AM AWARE!! I FEEL LIKE I AM ON CONSTANT GAURD WITH FOOD AROUND ME!! I feel sometimes like I am out of reality. I am so excited about all of my changes. I still sometimes fight the love of food and the comforts and fun it has provided. But on the flip side I know the misery and discomforts it has given to me also. I know that I choose to be alive and to live. Not to be alive and not able to live.
Ok ok... so I have my swim suit on and was going to go swimming early today. Now I am back to finish this Christmas decorating. I have decided to swim tonight. I usually swim in the evening.
OK, so Happy Surgiversary to me todayn
MAKE IT A GREAT DAY!! 
SHERRIE <3
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