I just have to show up

Well last thursday was my final with the surgeon... I was a little put off that my original surgeon wasn't there and i was "thrown" into the room with someone new. Well I as always just went with it and asked him the same boat load of questions my doctor was going to get. He passed the test and was very serious and liked that I asked questions, so acutally I left feeling pretty good about the whole thing.
So this friday is the day..... I have had a sick tummy all weekend, I think its just nerves. Its hard to believe that everything finally came together after years of looking into this. I catch myself still second guessing myself but not as much. I think I read too much online and made the mistake of looking at a "fill" on you tube. Big mistake for someone who hates needles....I woke sunday morning at 4am thinking OMG what the heck am I doing to myself by impalanting something in me and why can't I just do this on my own and then I came the realization that I have tried to do it on my own for years and it didn't work. I think one of my issues is of course the "what ifs" after surgery. I am self pay and I worry something will go wrong and I will have to mortagage the house again to pay for anything that went wrong. I noticed also being self pay that i did everything on my own, I sorta felt like I had to chase paperwork, call, etc. more so than when i have ever had anything done with insurance. That part kinda sucked, and although my doctors office was kind enough I guess they were too busy trying to get peoples insurance to approve that us self pays because our lack of insurace to pay we got thrown to the side. I sure know after the monies I paid out last week I am going to do exactly what I am supoosed to so I won't regretful.
I hope everyone this month has a smooth surgery and a speedy recovery. :) If anyone wants to be a "buddy" please let me know I need all the support I can get.

Hey Melissa -

  I am so in the same boat as you. I keep questioning EVERYTHING. I'm worried about effects after the surgery or what if something goes wrong after the surgery...I keep thinking of all the bad and not really thinking about the good. My doctor said i need to loose 65lbs and I keep thinking why can't I do this, why do I have to have surgery, etc. So I'm with you 100% on the majority of your post. Good luck to you and please keep me updated!

Krista

Wow Melissa....Good Luck to you...!!!  I didn't meet with my surgeon again until the morning of surgery so you were lucky to meet with yours.  I met with a Resident during PAT however, I didn't feel comfortable with him.
AND I felt the same way....I was questioning my motives, can I do this afterwards, I think I walked around in a state of shock for the 10 pre surgery liquid diet...I was in shock because I was actually going forward with it...
But I did go forward with it....3 days before Thanksgiving....AND you wake up from surgery with lots more questions but...I came here and posted my anxieties and nice people calmed by fears...
The best thing they told me was to Walk, walk, walk (of course, you will hear that till your sick of hearing it).
AND then someone else told me on the 4th day after surgery...you start to feel so much better about everything...the surgery, the life changes, the band...

I just met with the doc yesterday (my surgeon) and I am down 16 pounds...So that's a yay!!!!

af

Thats awesome!
I remember reading your intial posts and I have to say they scared me a little bit about how bad I may feel after waking up after surgery. Then i remembered everyone is diffrent and it will be diffrent for all of us who take this journey. I was very lucky and didn't have to do the pre op liquid diet. I was supposed to at first because my BMI was 51 and my surgeon requires anyone BMI 50 and over to do that pre op diet. The pre op diet they offered (opti fast) was $300 and besides I with all the headaches I have now from not eating I knew I couldnt go that long with out real food. I lost about 23 pounds on my own with about 5 of it coming from a bout with the flu back in early oct. So I saved a little money which I spend on protien supplements and stuff to eat after coming home from surgery.  I can wait to join everyone here on the otherside on the losers bench.

Oh I didn't mean to scare you...with my post op whining....haha.
I just didn't bounce back like I thought I should have...I forget I am 55 years old...Youth is no longer on my side....So...I am bouncing back a little slower....Forging forward.

Keep me posted...You sound so upbeat...

I am on soft foods right now...its definitely a challenge...Gotta love those scrambled eggs. though.

Arlene