o/t 29 Lines that make you smile

Tom B.
on 3/27/09 9:39 pm, edited 3/28/09 12:46 am - Runnemede, NJ
1.. My husband  and I divorced over religious differences, He thought he was God and  I didn't.
2. I don't  suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people  are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to  have a handle on life, but it broke.     

 

  5. Don't take  life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just  jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in  the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the  insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a  complete idiot -- Some parts are just  missing.


10.. Out of my  mind.  Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the  stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must  love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene  pool could use a little chlorine.

14.  Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.   

15..Ever stop to think,  and forget to start again?
16. Being "over  the hill" is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled  Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19..I Have a  Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 
20. A  hangover is the wrath of grapes..
21. A journey  of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 22. Stupidity  is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call  it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies  with the most toys is nonetheless  DEAD.        25.. A picture  is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the  memory.
26. Ham and  eggs..A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.  
27. The trouble  with life is there's no background music.
28. The  original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.   
29. I smile  because I don't know what the hell is going on.

    Appreciate every  single thing you have, especially your friends!  Life is too  short and friends are too few.    
Weight
Consult/ Sugery/Current/Goal/lost
358.4         347     217    218   141.4
7/31/08 12/18/08-03/24/2010 

Timing is everything.

I sure hope my scale is correct.lol

http://www.myspace.com/f14tcjoe

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