YEAHHHH 9 Months.  I would be lieing if I said it was easy, but honestly it has not been hard either.  I dont drink as much water as I should, I do tend to snack, but my snack has proteins.
I am finding myself easting some carbs as well.  But I am staying FARRRRRRR away from those Sugars.  Still try to keep it below 12 grams of sugar at any one given meal.

I am 3 lbs away from my over all goal.  My loss as slowed down, but honestly I am ok with that.  I feel great, people tell me I look great, but if I end up loosing another 15 lbs by my year mark, I am ok with that.  But honestly, I am a a 6' biker, who does not want to look sickly and too skinny either.  I went from 311 , 49" waist to 188 at a 32" waist.  If I get to 175, I will try and stop the loss from there.

But this surgery has been such a true blessing.

I love you guys...

Well here it is a little after 4:00 and I've only had 20 calories...definitely not a good way to start the week. I've walked into the kitchen a few times, but just can't bring myself to actually put anything in my mouth. I'm usually in a size 10 jeans now (I carry most of my remaining weight up top....I didn't lose the girls like I expected) and I'm so close to a 6 that I just don't want to blow it. I'm starting to worry that once I do reach goal, I'm still going to have this fear and eventually I'll shrink away into nothingness.

My brain is totally disconnected from my body. Most of the time, I start out in the plus sizes and then have to remind myself to go to the misses department. Once I'm there, I swear nothing is going to fit me and when it does, I'm surprised everytime. Last weekend, my hubby picked out an outfit for me to try on. I looked at it and laughed and told him half of me wouldn't even fit in that. He insisted that it would fit me and pleaded with me to try it on. I was very reluctant, but I finally agreed. I didn't bother to look at the tag because I figured it was a 10 or a 12 as that was what I had been trying on most of the day. I got in the dressing room, just "knowing" it was way too small. It went on fairly easily, got it buttoned, zipped and arragened and OMG it looked actually looked great. So I go out, and show it to him, and get the look of approval. Just as I'm heading back into the dressing room, he says "by the way, that's an 8".

A WHAT???? "an 8"

I said no it's NOT, it CAN'T be (of course frantically looking for the tag). A sales lady that was standing nearby looked our direction, and said to me "yeah, hun, it probably is, they do run a little SMALL"

My brain really needs to figure this body image thing out once and for all!!!

Thanks for all the great ideas.  I have recently started drinking a massive (I mean like 30 oz.) of decaf protein coffee.  Every 10 oz. has one scoop of protein powder in it.  That equals something like 250 cals. a day, plus getting my protein in AND liquid.  I think that is AWESOME.  BTW sometimes I have problems getting in my protein in.  Its a weird, long story that starts with vertigo and having my gallbladder taken out and ends with drinking protein coffee on a daily basis 4 months later.  Ask me about it sometime.  hehehe 

Okay, so I think it has finally happened.......yes, it has......I've gone completely INSANE!!!
So here I am almost nine months out, and down 125 pounds...oh my god, that's a whole freakin' person. I have lost the equivalent of what I should weigh, how crazy is that?!

Anyway, here's why I think I'm losing my mind....I think I am developing a major fear of food. I am becoming absolutely obsessive about everything. It's getting to the point where I would rather not even eat because I feel like if I have anything over like 3 calories, I'm going to baloon back up to my pre-surgey weight or WORSE!!!Logically, I know that I should be eating and following the rules, but it is seriously freaking me out.  Maybe it's because I still have like 40 pounds to go, and I feel like I'll NEVER get there.  My weight loss is ridiculously slooooooooowwwwww right now! For the past 4 weeks, I've been fighting the same 5 bleepin pounds. Ugggghhhhh...This is crazy because in the beginning I was losing way faster than my doc thought I would, but now, absolutely NADA, ZERO, ZIPPO, ZILCH. Big fat freakin goose egg!

Anybody else starting to fear food???
 
Okay, here's my other issue...my mind has not caught up with the weight loss, not even close. I just cannot wrap my miind around it. I look in the mirror and it just doesn't click. Is that really me? Everybody (even strangers) comment on how how "skinny" "small" or "tiny" I am, and I'm like who the____ are you talking to? Can't be me.  When are my brain and body going to connect again? Oh please let it be soon, please, pretty please.

Anybody else starting to feel the madness??? Any words of wisdom from my surgi-siblings?


Oh yeah, THANKS for letting me get that off my chest!
Luv u guys!