Fear of Failure

I am now 8 months out and am down 108 pounds. I only lost 5 pounds last month and am frustrated with myself. I know I am eating more and I am afraid at failing at this as I failed at other diets. I know the RNY is a "tool" to help me with weight loss, but I am frustrated with myself as I find myself wanting to eat more and having to really put restraints on myself to stay away from the "bad" food. I fear failure. I fear weight gain.

I have a lot of fear as well.... I have friends who have had RNYs and only one reached her goal weight, the other 4 have gained MUCH of their weight back (all had the surgery within the past 5 years).... I am always afraid, I hope the fear will help keep me from blowing back up and will help keep me on track following the "Rules for My Tool."

I'm glad I have a healthy fear of regaining or eating the wrong things. I had IBS for 15 years and know what it feels like to be sick all the time. I've eaten the wrong foods twice since my RNY in Dec. '07 and paid the consequences with vomiting and pain. Won't ever do that again! Also, I have a cousin who had a RNY and has gained back nearly all her weight from grazing and snacking. Sadly, I'm learning from her mistakes. Also, I find that keeping a daily food journal keeps me accountable to myself. My husband has strict orders (from me) to nicely mention to me if I seem to get something I shouldn't have or am eating too much. At first I didn't like it, but I need the food cops to keep me on track. Becky, don't you FEEL great!!!? I love how much better my body feels now and the energy I have, plus compliments from family keep me going. I know you will do fine and when you want to eat, eat some protein, it will fill you up more and keep you full longer. Also, up the water. I suck at exercise, but do the best I can. Seems like I get on a stall every month, then lose the next month. Hang in there and keep in touch when you need to. Kelly

OMG. Wow - what a great and terrifying message thread. It was great because I am terrified of failing and it was so good to hear I am not alone in that. It was terrifying because I am from a small city in Canada where this surgery is extremely rare and I had no idea how many people gain the weight back. What a kick in the arse!. I have been drinking with meals and grazing. In the back of my mind I have been telling myself I had to get it in check however I don't think I realized how close to being on a very dangerous road I really was. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hopefully I will be able to learn from this and get back on track......

Hi Becky...I can relate!!! I lost only 4 pounds from June-July and then BAM...lost 7 lbs in 12 days.HUH??????? I too have been noticing myself tending to graze some days. STOP STOP STOP!!!! I have to practice more self control. The good news...started in a tight 26 and now comfortably in a 14. Strange part...every day that I put on my size 14 jeans I have this awful feeling that I won't be able to get them past my knees! Driving myself crazy. I slacked off and didn't log my daily intake after month 3. Well...back on track...started logging on dailyplate July 1. Haven't missed a day...if nothing else it keeps me accountable. I don't know if any of us will ever feel comfortable enough to "just eat and not analyze everything we put in our mouth". I still have about 65 more lbs to lose...and this is gonna be harder than the first 8 months put together. Still coming here to OH every day...the support here is what drives me in the right direction. Keep in touch,my Dec. Sista!!!!!!!!!

Hi Becky, I think that this is a fear that we all share. The past two weeks were dreadful for me because I didn't lose an ounce or an inch. But now, I'm down 4 pounds in 4 days and less than 50 pounds to go before I hit goal! We all have stalls, or hit bumps in the road, but the most important thing is how we choose to deal with them. It is completely normal to be eating a little more at 8 months out than you were previously. As long as you're following the rules and eating the right foods, you should be fine. Just try to stay the course and the scale will be your friend again soon. If you see yourself veering toward emotional eating, go to a support group, talk to a friend, counselor, nutritionist, doctor, ME, ANYbody!!! Just remember, food is fuel, nothing more. It can't/won't fill a void, or make life better, it will just create more problems in the long run. You've been there, you know it doesn't work so there's no need to go back. That's why we're here, to help keep you on track.

i feel that all the time!.........
stay strong!

I completely understand what you are talking about. Since my surgery I have lost 113 pounds and for a total of 150 pounds since I began to check into wls. I have gone from a 26/28 to a size 12 pants. Since last Thursday I have gained 5 pounds. I know I must be retaining water because I have not eaten over 900 calories in any one given day. I am just frustrated at the moment because I have never stalled and this is definitely a first.
I believe as long as you have the fear, you will be careful and not gain the weight back.
Good luck in your endeavors.

Hi Becky and other Dec. people,
I can so relate to your post. The first months were so much easier- I dropped 120 pounds and didn't really struggle. Now I am struggling with the old demons. I am not gaining, but the weight loss has stopped. I know I'm eating more than I should. Starting here, starting now I will be committed again... hold me accountable!
Julia