So... what's up ladies?

*hugs* to everyone! I miss you guys!

I am hearing lots of cries for help with their journies and I feel very bad that everyone is in the same boat right now and are struggling.  I too struggle daily and have to keep it real by keeping myself in check and yes, I fall off the wagon more times than I care to admit but its getting back up and brushing ourselves off and starting over.. never giving up that matters!

Ok so lets be real.. ok?  (If I am annoying any of you just tell me to go away.. seriously, I am sorry if I am, I wanna help!)

Lets ask these questions...

1) Why do we self-sabotage?

2) Why don't we stop self-sabotaging when we call ourselves on it? Why do we continue?

3) What is the positive feedback we get from eating other than the instant self gratification of the taste of the food?

4) In the end who does this hurt besides ourselves?

You don't have to answer publically if you don't want to but I ask u take a minute to ponder about these questions and do a little self-reflection.

I love you guys and miss you and hope you will stay close here.

*HUGS*

Hi Melissa and everyone,

I ask myself these questions all the time. I know I woke up a different person after my surgery, but I still have some of the same self esteem issues that I did before. I still blame myself first when things don't go the perfect way I want them too, but now I can usually stop the self-blame much more quickly and give myself a nudge into the possitive before I eat up a storm.

I think one big difference is the possitive image I see of myself when I look in the mirror. I never used to be able to say good things about myself; all the negative voices of my family would assault me instead. But when I woke up from surgery those voices were gone and thy have not come back. My own voice is the only one there, and I can change its tone now and turn myself happy.

The hurt doesn't seem to last as long and I love being sexy too much to give it up. So every day I thank God for jicama and frozen grapes and Laughing Cow cheese and Starbucks skiiny vanilla lattes and everyday I stay on target. And every day I more than pray that I can keep it this way forever.

Good luck to us all,

nancy

Sounds like you have your safe "vices".  I have those also and honestly without them I would be sunk.  I need my lattes (sugar free of course) and here and there occaisonal dark chocolate and my protein shakes that I do love and look forward to DAILY.  I think that is the key.. give yourself something that makes you feel like you are cheating when really you aren't at all.  

You must tell me what you do with your Jicama.. I had it once when it was cut into strips for dip.. what else do u do with it? I love it but need more ideas.

Thanks and also thank you for responding.  YOU LOOK TERRIFIC and sounds like you are doing well right now and glad to hear it!

MELISSA

FIRST LET ME JUST SAY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER ANNOYED ME, YOU HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT GOOD TO THIS GROUP AND ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP.  YOU MEAN MORE TO ME THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW. SO MANY TIMES I THINK I NEED A PSYCH. TO HELP ME, BUT I JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT AND THERE ARE NO SUPPORT GROUPS IN MY AREA SO ALL OF MY HELP COMES FROM OH  ( ESPECIALLY THIS GROUP).

THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU HAVE ASK ARE GREAT ONES AND YES I NEED TO ASK THEM EVERYDAY AND TRULY SEARCH OUT THE ANSWERS TO MAKE A CHANGE.  

THANKS FOR BEING THERE
MINI ME

Whew! 

Sometimes I post and I don't hear much back and I think "I must be annoying them" so I will back off.  But I hope that really isn't the case, I just wanna see everyone overcome their demons.  It is tough but together we can help see eachother to the other side of it.  Thanks for all your kind words Melissa, I really do appreciate all you said.  All of you mean the world to me on here and that is why I care so much.  I really do care how u all are doing and when I see you struggling it hurts me too.  I struggle also and I have come here many times for support and all you girls have always been there for me.. I just wanna repay the favor.  I am in a pretty good place right now with my eating.. not real bad, I have weak moments but for the most part I am doing pretty good.  Vacation derailed me some but I got back on the horse.  I am maintaining in the 140's and have for the past year but it has taken a lot of work no lie.  

If there is anything i can do to help you or any of the others I am willing to do what I can.  When I am home for 6 weeks after this plastic surgery I will be online prob 24/7 as I will not have a thing to do but SIT and walk, SIT and walk.. so let me help where I can.

If anything Melissa.. I am here to listen.  HUGS!

Hi Melissa,

I cannot imagine you ever annoying anyone either. I only have time to check in once and awhile, but I am always amazed at how open and helpful and connected you are to your journey and the journies of all of us. If I didn't have a good support system here in Long Beach, I would be in contact with you all the time. You do a huge amount of good for so many - NEVER doubt that for one minute.

I wish I could say that I 'do' something with jicama, but I just slice it and eat it raw. It cures my crunchies and helps my 'poop' too. On those days when I am really hungry all the time (I think this is a monthly cycle thing but I've not actually tracked it) I crunch on it at night. Lately I have discovered those English cucumbers too. I wish I could do artichokes, but they are the only food to give me foamies, and they don't crunch anyway.

My Hispanic students make a chili salad with jicama.
toodle,
nancy

Thanks Nancy for all your kind words! I am truly humbled by them.

I really do care about each and every one of you and want us ALL to succeed at this journey.  I am so glad you have the support you need near by you, there just isn't enough that can be said for that!!!

Thanks for the tips on the jicama. I am gonna pick some up this week.  I am looking forward to having something to crunch on from time to time without worrying too much about excess calories.  Right now I use sf sweet pickles by mt, olive if i need that fix and it works pretty well, will like to try something else for a change also!  

Have a good rest of the weekend!

Great questions..I keep asking myself these questions daily and then I EAT something..WHY!!!
I honestly feel like I have almost given up. I feel like I can not do this..WHY!! I still have the "tool" so I need to use it better then what I have been using it.
I really hope our we all stay close and we all get back on track...

Now you asking us if you are being annoying is annoying.   You are so NOT annoying!  We love you here and are d*mned lucky to have you for a cheerleader/b*tt kicker/life coach and all the many other wonderful jobs you do so generously around here for all of us. 

Excellent questions!

1) I self-sabotage a lot less these days.  Years ago I really did it consciously but when it happens now I think it is a lot more subtle.  Maybe for me it falls into the childish category of 'I'll eat worms and die and THEN you'll be sorry!'   

2) Why do we continue?  Laziness?  An unwillingness to change old habits instead of doing the tough emotional work of dealing with whatever problems are causing the sabotage in the first place?

3) Sometimes there is that seratonin rush from the food as a positive feedback but mostly it is just old guilt after that first rush of pleasure.

4) I know who it hurts in my case (and I try to keep this in mind): it hurts future revision patients.  If I fail at this surgery and living with my new tool then maybe my doctor or other surgeons in his practice will not give other revision seekers a chance like I got.  That's a big thing to have to live up to and I really, really try hard to keep it in mind. 

hugs backatcha!!!!

Thanks Molly for the reassurance :-) I never wanna be away from you gals, I love our december board even if it hasn't been as active.. it is still alive! I appreciate all of you on here more than I can even express in words!

I like your answers to the questions and many of those replies I can relate to.  However #4 about the other revision patients.. wow.. u got me thinking, thats a deep answer and ya know.. very well thought out and most would never consider that it could affect future postops. That is the type of person u are though, just so gosh darn caring.. thats what we love about you Molly!!

Hope u are hanging in there.. how are those kitties doing?