does anyone else feel like they never had WLS?

Melissa....  When are you going to get the fact that we on THIS mb love you and ACCEPT you during times of stress and gain too and not just when you are doing 'great' and cheering the rest of us onward and upward???  Girl!!!!   Just because you hit a scary number does not mean we are going to turn on you.  No way! 

My red flag number has been revised upwards a few times here recently and I think that should bother me, yet I'm trying to practice more positive self-talk and keep it loving and positive.  You try to do that too, ok? 

This week I got a pretty good thinking turn-around when I got my biopsy results back and then researched the polyp type they found.  I've wasted ENOUGH years feeling jipped because I can't eat like society tells me to eat and look like they tell me to look.  Scr*w 'them'...I'm going to make myself happy with what i need to eat and do and the way i need to live to maintain my health for the rest of my life. 

Let's keep struggling together and never giving up!

Big hugs!

Molly

Thanks so much Molly.  I know I shouldn't worry so much. I guess its the old Melissa coming out in me. 

You are right about the positive self talk.. it does help a lot.  I have been working hard at that.  I created a couple scrapbook pages of my before and after pictures and reasons why I want to reamain healthy with a removable bible verse so I can change that each week for inspiration. I put this on my fridge.  I plan to share it at SG on Monday.

Ok so now you have me concerned about your biopsy results.. did I miss this? I am glad you are living your life for YOU.  It is the only way I feel we should do it.  It does make it hard when you feel under the microscope 24/7 when people are waiting for you to fail it seems like.  WLS gets such a bad rap that way... ugh.

Giving up is not an option and never will be.  I will fight the good fight with you forever Molls, that you can count on.

Hugs! Update me ok?  Love ya!  xoxoxo

The biopsy results just sort of blind-sided me is all, no biggie really.  Being only 47 I didn't expect anything to come of it at all.  But what they got out were adenomas, the tubulovillous kind and the largest one was precancerous.  So it just means more frequent screening than other people my age and I need to remain concerned about fiber intake.  So...i will.  :-)

Does bug me tho that people kind of look at more dr. appts. and then connect them with the wls.  As if any health problems I encountered since 12/06 were *caused* by it.  Nope...I think this is to be laid at the feet of obesity and family history.  Without the wls I'd undoubtedly have full-blown cancer by the time routine screenings would begin at age 50.

Ooops, I got my soapbox out again! 

Hugs!
Molly

*Hugs* Molly...

Yeah, more doc appts after WLS? What the heck.. I know for me I have cut my appointments down TREMENDOUSLY.  I was in the office montly for diabetes, hypertension, cholesterol screenings before.  Now I go in there for labs and let me see... an ear infection and Tuesday for my "rash" to start the process for plastics :)   People are just clueless and love to blame everything on WLS.. so ridiculous. I chuck it up to that they are jealous.  I do get tired of being under their microscope with eating, waiting for us to gain weight, admission to the hospital (the nurses at my hospital), etc.. its like get a life!

Yes you can THANK you WLS for allowing you to detect those polyps early.  My mom has to go very often has since 30 since her mother died of rectal cancer.  She has had many precancerous ones but was told most of the ones they do find will be cancerous in 10 years if not removed.  Make me wonder why I haven't had one yet, guess I need to talk to the doctor about that huh.  Thanks for the reminder.

Ok well again, thanks for the pep talk.  I don't know why but my nerves have just been lit up lately where I can't even just "be", I have to be doing something and so many times that ends up feeding my pie hole which is just a very bad decision and I am gonna work on it. 

Thanks again... have a great weekend and hugs to you with the report, I am glad you are taking care of yourself.  A very good thing.

xoxoxo

Mel

Molly... SO   TRUE !!!    See Mel... You are part of US... We struggle together... We succeed together!   Practice Positive Talk... Great Idea!  Maybe we should get on the scale everyday... like the "naturally" thin gals do?  Just for our own "knowledge"... lowering the scales # would make a great a primary goal so near to Yr 2!   Scr*w 'them'.. OOOWWWW... Those are Fightin' Words! 

Molly... I know exactly how you feel about the life turn-around... Medical Issues put life into focus... and help with prioritizing what is important in life.  "Knowing"  your medical problem  IS  the biggest step in resolving those same problems.  Scary... really scary... Wish that you didn't have to deal with this new stressor...

Peace of Mind  for Molly.... 

((((BigHugs))))
Ro

I know it Ro, we do struggle together.  My nerves have just been lit up lately and I just don't know how to tame them down. I see the doctor on Tuesday for my first "rash" for plastics and maybe I will mention it to her however I like my meds the way they are and really don't want an adjustment.  I think its just the cir****tances lately in my life and will calm down soon.  I do weigh daily but that hasn't seem to be enough deterent for me lately.  I will start the day doing awesome and late at night before bed is where i loose it :(  I gotta work on that.  I have indulged in a lot more caffiene lately and I think that is aiding big time to my "nerves" gonna stop it cold turkey and switch to decaf I think.  I weighed in at 140 on my one year.  I need to be there for my two year.  I will be.. no doubt about it.  I wanna always make sure I maintain at my appointments. 

I hope you have a good weekend.  Stay on top of me Ro.. I need that :)

Hugs,
Melissa

Hmmm... 
Are you "bringing your 140 Lb attitude" to the PS appointment?  Sure hope so! 

The PS's "scanners" will checking your attitude as well as your skin elasticity!  Your meds request sounds an alarm with me.  I'd think that the PS would read your statement...  "I like my meds the way they are and really don't want an adjustment" differently than you expect, Mel.

Just go to the appointment and leave your recent disappointments in the CAR.  Be "140 Mel" ! 

Since it quite possible that much of your current tension will calm down soon, what impression do you want to leave on the PS?  Can Do vs Can't Do...  We both know that U Can Do It !!!

Ahhh... Taming!   They say that Music Tames the Savage Beast, Mel...  Use music as a calming source.  Listen to some upbeat YouTube songs... even different versions of the same song... and include some versions that are posted by "locals" (non-professional singers).  Compare the songs and singers.  It's a good "activity" to get your mind off of your tensions.

You will be "mourning the loss" of the "dream job" for a while.  It's only natural and human!
Personally, I think that you made the right decision and that the "dream job" would have been a
NIGHTMARE .

Have a great appointment on Tuesday, "140 Mel" ...
XOXOXO
Ro

 

So are you saying that you Limit what you eat to "keep" Normal?   Yes, Right?

Nat, That is exactly what Thin People do unfortunately...

Food Addicts come in all sizes... some never need WLS... but WE did.

You are not alone!

Even though I have to eat to keep my weight around 128-130, it is mainly because I feel that I'll probably need some form of surgery (cyst / fluid issue) to improve my health.  Each time I reach the higher caloric ranges there is a bit of panic that I feel.  I think about Regain a lot.  I think about Food a lot.

If you are eating a decent amount, you're probably doing fine "body wise"; head-wise is a different story for most of us.

I think that one problem is that to maintain "normal" I have to decide what I will have to omit to "keep" within a healthy range.  I don't drink, but my friends that do and are trying to stay thin really have a hard time.  It's similar to chocolate / cocoa cravings... Do I have the cocoa... or in my case the 6 Fudgsicles... at the risk of not eating something healthier? 

Well... yesterday I totally blew it... I finished the Fudgsicle box... that's why the magic number was 6... there were only 6 left!  I was going to stop for a DQ (medium choc dip cone = 490 calories) on Monday after my Therapy session.  Now here's the weird part... I didn't stop, but not because I had any willpower.  I didn't get the cone because it was "in town".... that's right... I "score" my cones "out of town"... 20 minutes away...  I'm glad that you posted this to help yourself, but you also helped me.  I am still Jonesin'  for certain foods.  I usually don't eat them, but it is getting harder.

I went to Dunkin' Donuts with a girlfriend yesterday for coffee and some much needed company.  She asked if I wanted anything other than my decaf w/ skim milk.  She had no idea that I was feeling some panic just being in the darn store.  I said, "No, I'm not ready to eat anything right now."  It was like I was in a strip club and the school moms were outside picketing the place.  Why should simply being in a Dunkin' Donuts give me anxiety?  It did... that's all I know for sure.

What is "normal" about "Normal"?   It seems so hard to "keep"...

Oh chocolate cravings!!!  Why oh why does chocolate seem to be such a wonder drug for soothing us in times of worry and stress and why do we have to feel such guilt about it?  That sucks!  Good for you resisting that in-town cone and was your fudgesicle fest with nsa or regulars?  Does that matter?  The numbers aren't that drastically different, I think.  My mom who has been on a diet since I can remember, always used to say that fudgesicles were a much safer chocolate 'fix' calorie-wise so I don't have as much guilt over them as I'd have with a cookie. 

Sorry that you have to deal with DD...we don't have them here in Spokane and it sounds like that is a very good thing.  You were very brave to meet your friend there when it is such a dangerous place.  Even with all the physical and emotional stress you are under now you came out of that experience with great results.  Way to go, Ro Ro!

Remember the Gene Wilder movie 'Young Frankenstein'?  So often I think of the scene where Marty Wilder (Igor) is telling the dr. the name of the brain he stole "Abby something...Abby Normal...uh, Abnormal'.  It makes me smile and I think of myself of Abby Normal as a cheer-up.  In the end of that movie, the monster with the abnormal brain ended up being a pretty cool character. 

We all will too. 

Molly

Got passed the DQ again today, but ended-up buying 3 bags of Snyder's Pretzels and a 20 pack box of SF Fudgsicles...and a container of chocolate chip cookies... etc!  Ended-up having the cookie instead of the Fudgsicle, but still better that the 490 calorie DQ cone.

Loved the Monster; he must have had some "technique"....

Where is Gene Wilder today?  Marty is his brother????  Abby Normal

Thanks for the Chocolate Pep Talk!   

Ro