Is is just me or?

I would like to know if anyone else out here that is nearly 2 years out have issues with sex?  I could care less about it, don't have the urge what so ever.  It doesn't bother me at all, but my so called b-friend is convinced that I am sleeping with someone else.  That is furthest from the truth.  I have talked to him a million times about my issue and he claims that he understands.  It is actually extremely painful for me.  I have noticed that my drive has been way down since surgery.  What should I do? 

Definitely discuss it with your physician or gynecologist to rule out any physical reasons.  I don't have much interest in it except when I am ovulating (no menopause for me yet) but for me, it is because of the prozac I take for depression.  It's a bad trade-off but I'd rather have little to no interest in sex than be depressed and eating for self-medication.  Just my choice.  I'm sorry you are having trouble with the b-friend over it and hope that it can be worked out.  Not to be too personal or gross but do you think use of a lubricant would make it less painful for you?  Do talk to your doctor about the problem and best of luck with it.

Molly

Nothing helps.  I have had serious issues with bleeding since my surgery and it's finally under control.  I also am on antidepressants for major depression.  I am at wits end trying to explain to my b-friend my issue, he tells me he understands then he turns on me and gets frustrated.  I am glad to have lost the weight and it really doesn't bother me that I don't have a sex drive.  My b-friend I think for the most part is being selfish.  I am really having a hard time dealing with the fact that he is behaving the way he is.  I have a lot to deal with and I was just wondering if there were others out there that know how I feel.  Thanks for responding, I appreciate it a lot.

i am in the sam boat  lol   i dont care about  it  i dont want it  or need it  lol  !!!!  i did talk to my surgeon about  and all he suggested was   if i was really concerned about it  then he could send me to an endocrinologist   to check my hormonal level....i didnt care to much to go to any more drs at the moment  so for now i will live w/ it...and w/ out it    LOL 

How do you deal with your DH???   Earplugs???

 Ro

 I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having sex.  Not even a teeny tiny bit.  I would be thrilled if I could go the rest of my life without it.  Before surgery I had a little interest, now, I have nothing, nada.....
I am so not interested I don't even want to see a Dr. for it.  

But, for you it is troublesome so you absolutely should go see your regular doctor.  Our bodies get all out of whack after surgery and our hormones sometimes need a little adjustment.  I am sure your doctor can help you.  As far as the pain, that could be something your doctor can take care of as well.  My friend had the same issue and after examination he Dr. gave her some suggestions and it worked for her.  No idea if your reason for the pain is the same as hers so you should discuss it with your doctor.

Take care,

T

Thanks for responding to my issue.  I have been going through a lot since surgery.  I have a serious problem with heavy and uncontrollable bleeding.  After nearly a year the problem is under control.  I know that things take time to adjust and right now, I feel like you do.  It doesn't bother me one bit.  I am frustrated because my b-friend acts as if I am doing this on purpose and it's not true at all.  It is truly painful and I am taking things one day at a time.  I have been through a lot and I am greatful to know there are people out there as yourself that care and understand what I am going through.  Thanks.

It may be a bit uncomfortable, but perhaps you should take your bf to the dr with you.  It would help it if the dr could explain why this happens and it is not something you are doing on purpose.  Perhaps he could learn to be more supportive and understanding if it came from someone with a medical background.

I'm not sure what happened to my sex drive, but it has lessened.  Glad to hear that the bleeding issue has gotten better for you.  I haven't heard of other members having this problems and I've been fairly regular. 

The pain that you mentioned should be addressed with your Gynecologist.  If your boyfriend went with you to the appointment, he'd probably leave with a better idea of what you are going through physically and perhaps emotionally. 

Pretty sad that you have to explain your faithfulness.  He obviously sees you as desirable and can't figure-out if you're just not interested in him or might be interested in seeing other guys.  He might be trying to persuade you into having sex to "prove" your interested in him, but it seems to be backfiring!  You can't get someone in bed by making them feel bad about themselves...
at least not very often. 

How are you feeling about him?  In love?  Hurt?  Bored?  Smothered? 
You're feelings are very, very important and should take priority. Once you decide what your feelings are, you should be able to discuss them with your boyfriend openly. 
  Ro

Hey, Gigi... What did you decide to do????  You've got a couple of things going on here and I really hope that you get some relief soon.  I saw your pics... WOW now that's WLS success.  I was in at least the 63 BMI range (and avoided the scale before that #) so I know that you've really changed your life.  Isn't it great to sit on ANY chair????   YES!!!!
Hugs... that fit around your tiny waist...
Ro