Total Embassment
Hello just posted to weekly weigh in. Did not post weight because it is the same. Always the same, SW was 310 and I am now 233 .I go up 2 down 1 up 1 down 2. It is constant but I am right there with you Dana, I am having rough time getting back in control now on top of things I am suffering with Plantar fasciitis in my foot very painfull,so can not go to gym, well I can but only upper body until it heals . I am depressed, need to lose last sixy pounds but can not get things together so that makes me hide from here, so down about my progress. Most people on here are at goal weight. I have been praying for my goal weight and yet I realize it is all my fault which does nothing for me but feel bad. Anyway not a whiner so I will not continue to moan. I just need to find a way to get back into this and lose just not sure how because I always have such great ambition in my head but never seem to act on it. I WILL GET IT TOGETHER. Just wanted Dana to know I am on her same page, Maybe we can support each other somehow, take care trying not to be the big cry baby but just wanted you to know why I have been avioding the site, just sear embarassment because I can not do what I am suppose to thanks for all you hanging in there at least when I do come to the site I see that others can do well take care Kelly
(deactivated member)
on 9/1/08 9:43 am
on 9/1/08 9:43 am
I've looked at this post today and truly go blank. You have neighboring friends, but a problem losing weight. I have the opposite problem. Weight stinks; loneliness stinks.
I lack long-term friendship skills... You seem to be saying that you lack weight loss skills... Both can make a person want to scream, "When am I going to get this RIGHT?" It's about trial and error... about giving it a new twist... about finding a way to commit to a different plan of action so that you get different results!
Don't be so hard on yourself... but do work hard at getting it RIGHT... Goal is within your reach.
BTW, everyone who made it to goal struggles with staying at goal... I'd bet on it... that everyone has a fear of regain... it's the "long-term" element of our quest that makes it a true success.
Perhaps... making a post directly asking other Dec Member, who are struggling with meeting goal to reply and keep the thread on-going... would help. One long post... that you could share your action plans on... a mini group. There are many "Lurking Dec Sisters", who share your embarrassment and need support too.
Does this make sense??? Does this help???
I lack long-term friendship skills... You seem to be saying that you lack weight loss skills... Both can make a person want to scream, "When am I going to get this RIGHT?" It's about trial and error... about giving it a new twist... about finding a way to commit to a different plan of action so that you get different results!
Don't be so hard on yourself... but do work hard at getting it RIGHT... Goal is within your reach.
BTW, everyone who made it to goal struggles with staying at goal... I'd bet on it... that everyone has a fear of regain... it's the "long-term" element of our quest that makes it a true success.
Perhaps... making a post directly asking other Dec Member, who are struggling with meeting goal to reply and keep the thread on-going... would help. One long post... that you could share your action plans on... a mini group. There are many "Lurking Dec Sisters", who share your embarrassment and need support too.
Does this make sense??? Does this help???
Hello and thanks so much for your insight I need to look at this different. I am sad about the friendship issue for you ,not so sure why you feel that friendship can not be long term for you. Please talk to me more about this, I have been so very thankful for your friendship, I know I can always count on you to bring me back from my emotional upsets or you often respond to concern I have had. I truly am thankful to you for always being there. I love this Dec group, people really are wonderful here. Please let me help you and I am here for friendship too. Please keep in touch and thanks for all your support Kelly
(deactivated member)
on 9/1/08 12:45 pm
on 9/1/08 12:45 pm
The friendship problem may be connected to being so SMO for many years. It may be due to the age differences in my area. We are located in a small lake community, which has a split mix of young families and old timers, who raised children that are my age now. Occasionally, I see their children, but that is not often. Even when DH & I join-in to our beach club functions, there is an absence of our same-age peers.
My lack of social skills is a different part of the equation. Sometimes I ramble on and feel that it turns people off... later I feel down and like I miss an opportunity... like I blew the conversation. I've made friends from work over the years, but the friendships always were limited to that environment. People get busy and fit others in to slots... the work friends... the church friends... etc. I miss the "girlfriend' outings that I had years ago. I blame the lack of friends on myself. I haven't had any arguments with people, which is good. How busy can everyone be???
I got a little blue today, when I saw a lot of cars parked outside my neighbor's homes for Labor Day BBQ. It would have been nice to be part of the gathering. We were not alone; 2 of the Guys and their girlfriends visited. We had a really nice time, but I miss adult company and friendship. Thanks for understanding and letting me complain a bit!
I do think that you, Diana, Marsha, and Rachel.... and the many "Lurking Dec Sisters" can make it to goal. Whatever you feel is missing from your eating plan, is worth discussing here and putting into action. Weighing and journaling has become a compulsion with me, but it keep me honest too. I'm really blowing the exercising even after I was told that I had to do it to keep my bone density and muscle tone intact. Probably everyone has some part of Weight Loss that needs to be improved upon. I can't imagine that all of the rules are followed all of the time. We are only human!
Thanks for your concern and offer of help & friendship. It does mean a lot to me!
OXOXOXO
Ro
My lack of social skills is a different part of the equation. Sometimes I ramble on and feel that it turns people off... later I feel down and like I miss an opportunity... like I blew the conversation. I've made friends from work over the years, but the friendships always were limited to that environment. People get busy and fit others in to slots... the work friends... the church friends... etc. I miss the "girlfriend' outings that I had years ago. I blame the lack of friends on myself. I haven't had any arguments with people, which is good. How busy can everyone be???
I got a little blue today, when I saw a lot of cars parked outside my neighbor's homes for Labor Day BBQ. It would have been nice to be part of the gathering. We were not alone; 2 of the Guys and their girlfriends visited. We had a really nice time, but I miss adult company and friendship. Thanks for understanding and letting me complain a bit!
I do think that you, Diana, Marsha, and Rachel.... and the many "Lurking Dec Sisters" can make it to goal. Whatever you feel is missing from your eating plan, is worth discussing here and putting into action. Weighing and journaling has become a compulsion with me, but it keep me honest too. I'm really blowing the exercising even after I was told that I had to do it to keep my bone density and muscle tone intact. Probably everyone has some part of Weight Loss that needs to be improved upon. I can't imagine that all of the rules are followed all of the time. We are only human!
Thanks for your concern and offer of help & friendship. It does mean a lot to me!
OXOXOXO
Ro
Aw Ro, I feel so bad for the situation you find yourself in with friendship. Consider yourself hugged. {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}} I seem to have an opposite problem....after working with the public for so many years now I don't want local friends. That's bad, isn't it? Honestly, I get so much out of the relationships we have here that outside of my friends at work I just want to come home and not 'be' with anybody except my own family and my Dec. surgery family.
And I'm really not a cold person either, actually very outgoing and chipper at work. That feels like part of the problem though. You know that old thing about being a vessel and if you pour all of yourself out you have nothing but emptiness left eventually and nothing to give to others.? Well, a lot of days I get home from work feeling like that. As though I used up all my good cheer at work and then get home feeling tired and sad. The logical thing to do would be to quit this job and find something else less draining but I'm one of those people who abhor change and just the thought of going through that is enough to make me break out in hives. Literally.
I'm glad that you have family close to you to be with but I do understand the longing to have a big social scene now and again like your neighbours. Doesn't the media portray every holiday, every sporting event as a great big old party that our fabulous, wide circle of friends is supposed to share with us? My daughter sort of lamented the fact that when she gets married it'll be a really, really small wedding because we have so few relatives left living and so few friends. That's pretty bad, I guess. Why doesn't it bother me enough to take action and become a social person? I think I'd actually make a very good hermit if I could have the internet still.
What you wrote about part of your problem being from previous MO days makes a lot of sense. Seems like a lot of us fell into a category of either being the life of the party type and trying to be loud and make a lot of friends by being self-deprecating or maybe going the other way and trying to disappear into the scenery so as not to be noticed as being so fat. (will that word make it through the text editor?) I don't know about you, but there aren't very many MO people I've known over the years with really and truly healthy self images and a lot of self love.
Sorry...how did my soap box get out????
Well, I'm not looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow and it was too tiring a day to even fight off the munchies tonight. Just trying to control it by having healthy stuff to graze on: a pan of egg beaters with a sprinkle of lf parmesan and Mrs. Dash. Yippee. But I can go in the kitchen and grab a forkful without too much guilt.
Now who is being whiny?
Molly
And I'm really not a cold person either, actually very outgoing and chipper at work. That feels like part of the problem though. You know that old thing about being a vessel and if you pour all of yourself out you have nothing but emptiness left eventually and nothing to give to others.? Well, a lot of days I get home from work feeling like that. As though I used up all my good cheer at work and then get home feeling tired and sad. The logical thing to do would be to quit this job and find something else less draining but I'm one of those people who abhor change and just the thought of going through that is enough to make me break out in hives. Literally.
I'm glad that you have family close to you to be with but I do understand the longing to have a big social scene now and again like your neighbours. Doesn't the media portray every holiday, every sporting event as a great big old party that our fabulous, wide circle of friends is supposed to share with us? My daughter sort of lamented the fact that when she gets married it'll be a really, really small wedding because we have so few relatives left living and so few friends. That's pretty bad, I guess. Why doesn't it bother me enough to take action and become a social person? I think I'd actually make a very good hermit if I could have the internet still.
What you wrote about part of your problem being from previous MO days makes a lot of sense. Seems like a lot of us fell into a category of either being the life of the party type and trying to be loud and make a lot of friends by being self-deprecating or maybe going the other way and trying to disappear into the scenery so as not to be noticed as being so fat. (will that word make it through the text editor?) I don't know about you, but there aren't very many MO people I've known over the years with really and truly healthy self images and a lot of self love.
Sorry...how did my soap box get out????
Well, I'm not looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow and it was too tiring a day to even fight off the munchies tonight. Just trying to control it by having healthy stuff to graze on: a pan of egg beaters with a sprinkle of lf parmesan and Mrs. Dash. Yippee. But I can go in the kitchen and grab a forkful without too much guilt.
Now who is being whiny?
Molly
(deactivated member)
on 9/4/08 10:44 am
on 9/4/08 10:44 am
Molly... I know that you are not a cold person! Boy, you are anything but that....
The social times you have a work like the pot lucks would be great for me. I was feeling really blue because "new people" are buying my beloved neighbor's house.. miss him.
BUT then the plot thickened... A printed note was left on #3 son's car... yada.. yada... move your car by another neighbor, who keeps to herself. Later a different neighbor made an out-of-character comment to our guys. DH thinks that it was the "beer" talking. Well that was Labor Day!
I still need to get reconnected with same age neighbors here. Don't get me wrong... I love my friendships with the 30-year-old couple with 2 children (and others who are young and old), but I am more honorary aunt than friend. My Guys mean so much to me, but the girlfriend time is what I long for to round-out my life.
Health Self Image... Hmmmm.... I am still working on that one!
Sorry to hear about the hives. I get all rashy from stress too. I don't know if MO tends to show itself in "people pleasing" behavior, but doesn't everyone just want to fit-in? I do! I mean not to the point where I'd hate myself later, but just that cozy "yeah... I belong" feeling would do it for me.
Always Eat Well! Even when you feel crappy!
Egg Beaters were a good choice!
Thanks for the hugs... love you 2!
XOXOXO
Ro
The social times you have a work like the pot lucks would be great for me. I was feeling really blue because "new people" are buying my beloved neighbor's house.. miss him. BUT then the plot thickened... A printed note was left on #3 son's car... yada.. yada... move your car by another neighbor, who keeps to herself. Later a different neighbor made an out-of-character comment to our guys. DH thinks that it was the "beer" talking. Well that was Labor Day!
I still need to get reconnected with same age neighbors here. Don't get me wrong... I love my friendships with the 30-year-old couple with 2 children (and others who are young and old), but I am more honorary aunt than friend. My Guys mean so much to me, but the girlfriend time is what I long for to round-out my life.
Health Self Image... Hmmmm.... I am still working on that one!
Sorry to hear about the hives. I get all rashy from stress too. I don't know if MO tends to show itself in "people pleasing" behavior, but doesn't everyone just want to fit-in? I do! I mean not to the point where I'd hate myself later, but just that cozy "yeah... I belong" feeling would do it for me.
Always Eat Well! Even when you feel crappy!
Egg Beaters were a good choice!Thanks for the hugs... love you 2!
XOXOXO
Ro
Hi there hun im right there with u..... I went to the dr today and have gained 9lbs in 3 months... i try to blame it on my new depression meds but I know that its what im eating and not eating...and not drinking any water....im sooooo mad at myself.....I said i would never be heavy again but i see it coming.......and i cant be there again.....It is so hard to keep on track when all my bf does is eat when i see him eating i think i have to eat....gawd i need to get back on track is just so hard Love Marsha
(deactivated member)
on 9/2/08 10:58 am
on 9/2/08 10:58 am
Auuggghhh.... I feel for you, when you are watching BF eat in front of you!
Eclairs have been chomped down in front of me this weekend. I ate one bite, which had about 30 calories. Since then I've had to say NO, I don't want one several times. Nice that they offer, but really not what I expect from my DH.
Please... Please drink water... about 64 oz should keep your organs running smoothly!
Depression seems to have hit the Dec MB "Big Time" so you are not alone!
I agree with Molly that now is the time to kick the 9+ Lbs to the roadside! Check-out her info to Kelly....
Hugs
Ro
Eclairs have been chomped down in front of me this weekend. I ate one bite, which had about 30 calories. Since then I've had to say NO, I don't want one several times. Nice that they offer, but really not what I expect from my DH.
Please... Please drink water... about 64 oz should keep your organs running smoothly!
Depression seems to have hit the Dec MB "Big Time" so you are not alone!
I agree with Molly that now is the time to kick the 9+ Lbs to the roadside! Check-out her info to Kelly....
Hugs
Ro
Kelly,
First a big hug for you and then a teensy (I hope!) kick in the fanny. Just promise to return the kick when I need one, 'k? Although lately that seems to be all the time.
Don't let YOU stop yourself! 
You may only ever, ever, ever get this one chance to make this surgery work. I am one of the rare lucky ones who got a do-over on wls and was able to get to goal. Though, what Ro said is soooo true...it is VERY hard to stay at goal. !!! I am so miserable over my current little gain. Being TOM has caused me to regain the good progress I made and I'm right back where I was a couple of weeks ago and so frustrated.
But....I'm NOT, NOT, NOT going to lose the battle this time and you can't EITHER, girl! I failed my first weight loss surgery and won't let you do the same thing. You are at a critical stage here and are feeling discouraged. Find something, anything to hold onto and get help from. *Definitely* us here but you also really need local help. Do you have any support group options locally or within a reasonable driving distance? The WW idea might be a good option to consider. Just something to get you over the hump of this disappointing time.
Kelly, you aren't being a big baby or a whiner...far from it! You are so smart to get back here even though you want to hide. I have the same problem from time to time too lately. Wanting to stay away is a good signal that we need this more than we know or want to admit.
What kinds of things can we do here to help you? Would getting the daily eats and moves posts help at all? Would you have time to participate with your school load?
Let's brainstorm here and see what will help, ok?
HUGS!!!!!
Molly
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