at goal but at a cost

Thanks guys, I really apprciate it. I just need to give it some time to sort out both of our feelings, he came home. But both of us are confused for sure hope everyone has a great week!!! hugs, Erin

I hear you loud and clear!! I had my own "blow out" recently, whi*****luded... "I am not happy." from DH and a combination of "Are we going to "make" it?" and "I don't think so." then fireworks... Now things seem a bit better... The stress level is off the charts around here. We've been together for 17+ years and thought that life together was solid. We are sorting out feeling too. I forgot... how long have you been married? (I'm married 7 of the 17 years) I just want things to settle down. Of course, I also want some things to change too. hugs, Ro

Ro hey thanks for the post, I think it can go either way with the marriage thing... I have been married almost 9 yrs. Good luck to you in your own marriage, for now we are trying to work on things. Take care, Erin

Does anyone know why this happens so frequently after WLS? Were you told about this before surgery? Were you told about this in support group or therapy? What are the stats? I'm holding on to see if things settle down; like this could be an adjustment period. Why???? Things were suppose to get better, Right? Dec. Babes, Can you please comment.... soon. Regards... a not so confident Ro

Erin - I am so sorry and sorry it took me so long to post. I wish I had read this the day you posted to be there for you and really wish I could give you a hug. I know how painful this is. Even though you are ok with splitting up, there is noting easy about it. It is still painful and even more so because of the kids. Please try to stop by to let us know how you and the kids are doing. I worry about everyone on this board and keep each one of you in my prayers especially when going through tough times. You always have this forum and this family who care and we are here for you. With hugs, thoughts, and prayers.... ~ Terisa

No kids here, but I can relate to the feelings changing and emotions being all out of whack. My hubby laid it on me in October that he "wasn't happy", and we had a knock down drag out right before our 4 year wedding anniversay (8 years together). We're back on more solid ground now (after I drug his ass in and had him put on antidepressants for clinical depression, once I did some research). But I still find there are days when I wonder, "Is it going to last?", "Is he really happier now?".. I know I am. I have tons of energy, and other than hating my non-existent boobs, and batwings, I'd do the surgery again in a heartbeat. He says he's better now, over the panic and blues, and is ready to start working on us having our family. But, after the big scare in October, it sometimes feels like walking on the edge of a deep ravine. I hope you guys get to talk everything out, and things settle back down. It's a big change to see the woman you're comfortable with that tends to the kids, home and you, suddenly start putting herself first for a bit. Males have such fragile little egos, don't they? (Sorry, Steven!)

Gosh Heather you are soooo right, I just said that last night to him. I said I am putting myself first, I have a been a wife and mother for sooo long I forgot about Erin, the gemini, the free sprit, and the fun girl I used to be. I said I am not putting myself last anymore. That is a trip.. Thanks, Erin