I'm seriously f***king up

Everyone knows the holidays are hard and I can accept a few slip ups from myself. However, the holidays are over and I need to kick my own a**. In the last 2 days I managed to consume a whole tub of chocolate frosting, candy corn and so much other stuff that I cannot even remember. I have not been to the gym since early December and I just found myself saying the old pre-wls diet mantra "i already screwed up so one more handful of Goldfish won't matter" and the ever popular "I'll start again fresh on Monday." I know keeping the weight off is giong to be hard, but I need to find a way to keep myself focused. I have a couple more months of the "honeymoon period" to straighten myself out and I fully intend to. My dh and I decided that we would like to have 2 more kids, something oringally I was not going to do, so I want my eating habits to be good so that in a few more months I can get my IUD and we start to expand our family. I take that back I need my eating habits to be great so that I can nourish a growing baby and be able to lose the weight after. Sorry for the rambling, but just getting out feels like a weight has been lifted. So my goals for the next few weeks are to log my food, post to the accountability thread and go to the gym at LEAST 4 times a week. If you are still reading thanks, for all the support.

I read! Glad to hear that you are working hard at keeping yourself accountable. We all knew going into this journey that it wasn't going to be an overnight fix and heaven knows that none of us got to the point where we needed any type of wls by being perfectly nutritious eaters. Keep working at it, you have some great goals ahead of you to keep yourself focused. Hugs! Molly

We have to allow ourselves to mess up every now and then. We are human...that is what we do. The good news is that you know that you messed up and you know that you have to do something to change it. I have done the same. What I found to help me, is to focus on something that I really want. Like....ex...tummy tuck, new shoes, dress, etc. Each week I set a group of goals...like this week I will go to the gym every day, no sweets, no wasted cals....if I meet my goal, I get a new pair of shoes that I have been wanting, if not....no new shoes....the tummy tuck would be for a year long goal....like...I want to get to my goal weight first...(which won't happen due to other problems) however...that is where I find my encouragement. Just an idea. Good luck!

Amy: First and foremost, kudos for your honesty. No delusions are helpful. I am 200% behind you on getting a handle on snacking...I have struggled with this as well, and offer you nothing but support in getting back on track with your post op WLS program! Let us all do our best in 2008, and continue the ring of support! You are always welcome to PM me if you want to talk specifics Regards, Megan

Hi Amy, I had been really screwing up too!! I am so glad to hear I am not the only one. I wonder if it has something to do with being a year out in addition to the holidays? I don't know, but what I do know is that I have more weight I want to lose and I am not going to do it if I continue down this road. I have been working on getting myself back on track and hopefully will stay there. Good luck to you and hope you get pregnant soon. ~ Terisa

Hello and thanks for saying what some of us are feeling. I second the fact that i think because I am a year out and pretty much can eat the ugly things people said you would never eat again is defying the odds I guess is what i am saying. it is like Ha! I can eat this, but not good. I am scare of not getting back on track. So many people that had the surgery same time as I have have done so much better than i have and that is killing me. i too need to stop the bad eating and get serious but just like you i say tomorrow and as always tomorrow never comes. I need to get strong. I have about 60 to 70 more to lose. I am sorry i am not helping with the ansewrs you are looking for but am writing because it feels nice to have some else saying the same things. Good luck to you hope you get back on track soon Kelly

Thank you all for your support. Well I am not glad some of you are having a hard time too I am glad I am not alone. I just need to remember my whole motivation for doing this...a long happy, HEALTHY life with my family. Thank you all again and I know with support I can get back to basics and we can all be siccessful together! Amy

Hi Amy, I applaud you for being "transparent" as I like to say. You are gonna be fine sweetie. Admitting you are struggling takes a lot of courage and you did that and ya know what? You will get back on track because I can hear the dedication in your post.. you want it, so you will get back on the horse. As for staying focused.. come to this board DAILY... spend an hour a day reading posts.. I will miss out on sleep to do this Amy.. I am not lying. I make OH a PRIORITY in my life b/c without it, I get too far detached.. I will loose sight of why I had this surgery.. for me its *extremely* important to have motivation/inspiration DAILY.. I would be so lost without this site. I may have a bad day but then I come here read something inspiring and its all I need to get back on the wagon.. it really has kept me in check this year. Also, I put a preop picture of me on the fridge and I carry one with me everywhere.. I never wanna forget where I came from. It keeps it real for me. I post my goals on a piece of paper so I can SEE them daily. Exercising takes motivation to do but once you create the habit (takes two weeks to create or break one) then its like a drug and becomes an addiction b/c of the endorphins that are released.. I truly get a "high" off it.. and need it to keep me feeling good about what I am doing, plus if I exercise, I do not want to destroy what I have done with exercise by putting "junk food" in my mouth to erase what I just did. I also try to find ways to stay busy.. and if I am stuck in the house.. I go hog wild like Molly does on warm tea.. for some reason that warm sensation just takes that "head hunger" away for me.. or chew gum. You can do this Amy.. we are all here to support you! None of us are "perfect" as you can plainly see.. we all have our moments when we aren't being the best WLS patient we can be.. just know you are not alone and we are backing you up 100%. Hang in there.. PM me daily if you want to.. I try to respond daily, might be two days but I really try to stay on top of my PM's as I can. Be DETERMINED! Get passionate about it.. that's what I do when I need a jump start! Also, helping others that aren't as far out helps me also..

Amy...So sorry to hear that you are having "old food" issues creep back into your life. They are the ones that need to be eliminated all at once (toss food, don't buy it, limit you portion of it on special occasions) and substitute your pantry with "better" snacks. I put together a personal photo album to help remind myself that I could regain the weight. I have a simple list my 2007 weight loss with a row for 2008 maintenance. Sparkpeople is a daily ritual for me. By evening, I KNOW if I should be eating more protein-rich food, fats, or carbs. Once I reach about 65g proteins, I check my calories. My goal for calories is 1100/day, balanced with the calories used during my walking. I try to eat simple foods.. lean meats, veggies, fruits, 2% cheese, whole grains, etc. My big treats are Fudgsicles and SF puddings. As mentioned by the Dec. Babes, we really want the "team effect" at work here. If you need a good "kick", wear some 3x clothing that are stuffed with about 4 pillows for about 1 hour. Quite Shocking! I ask myself, "Why am I sabotaging myself?, whenever I am ready to buy a trigger food. The thing that works the best for me is not having that food available! XOXOXO Ro

OMG Amy... I read your post and sorry to say I am so happy that I am not the only one. I have had the WORSE holiday season with eating and have eaten more crap then I care to remember and the worst part is I have not gotten SICK at all which is not a good thing. I am so happy to be back in town (we were in Salt Lake visiting family) and have my own food and in my own FRIDGE!!!!! I know I should not put off till tomorrow but I can not wait till tomorrow morning! WATER WATER WATER for me for a while. i so need to start excersing and being accountable for what I am eating and I know I can be HERE!!! Thanks for posting this Amy Diana