Update--long, sorry
Well, I suppose I've procrastinated long enough, I really just wanted to get as much info as possible before I posted.
Here's the scoop:
As some of you may recall, I have bipolar disorder for which I was medicated before becoming pregnant. Once I got pregnant, I stopped all meds per doctor's orders. I didn't have a problem with this as usually my pregnancies keep me on an even keel. This one, however is the exception. I'm soooo not doing well and at my OB's request went to my psychiatrist about possibly going back on some meds. My shrink really doesn't want to put me back on meds right now, and honestly I don't want to either. However, something needs to be done. After a long, thought out decision, doc and I have decided on ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy). This was not an easy decision to make and to be honest, it kind of scared me...but again, SOMETHING is necessary, and this poses the least harm to the baby. Doc said that if it were his family member, this would be the route he'd recommend to them, so I feel a *tiny* bit more at ease. So, shrink referred me to another psychiatrist because he doesn't handle ECT. I met with that doc today and he concurred that I could possibly benefit from it and that I should not/could not go on meds while pregnant. I felt pretty good with things until he told me that no doubt, my insurance would require me to go inpatient for this therapy, which by the way, lasts 3 weeks. I'll be going in on Monday or Tuesday of next week. I know this is for the best, but 3 weeks is nearly a month. And because of the nature of the treatment, I have to be in the psychiatric ward, which honestly doesn't bother me, save for the fact that usually there's no children visitors. I learned that from the first time I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, though my doc got special orders written. I got 15 minutes with my kids twice during that 2 weeks. I will not be home for Thanksgiving, nor my son''s 15th birthday. I'm a wreck just thinking of that, but try to remind myself that it IS necessary.
Secondary (or maybe even primary) in this is my marriage is a complete wreck. It always has been, but I've been hopeful. During this crisis, my husband has (by attitude and behavior) for lack of better terms, shown me exactly how little of a priority I am. Actually, he's demonstrated it quite well over the last 13 years, just that this was the most major, and I've realized I really can't count on him. Though we did have a long talk and he "said" all the right things, I'll believe it when I see it. 
So, that's the "shortened" version. If you got this far, thanks for your time. 
I most likely won't be checking back in until I'm released since I have to scramble to get a bunch of things taken care of before I go in.
I hope everyone has a great month...I'll be thinking of you and sending you "making it to goal" vibes.
See you in a bit.
So, that's the "shortened" version. If you got this far, thanks for your time.
I most likely won't be checking back in until I'm released since I have to scramble to get a bunch of things taken care of before I go in.
I hope everyone has a great month...I'll be thinking of you and sending you "making it to goal" vibes.
See you in a bit. 
just in case you happen to check I wanted to tell that I am so so sorry for everything you are going through. What a great deal to go through on top of pregnancy and troubled marriage. I knew you were having a hard time with your marriage, but I was hoping things were getting better.
I am going to miss hearing from you for the next 3 weeks, but you will be in my prayers every single night. This is heartbreaking and makes me so sad for you, but I am hopeful that this therapy will give you a new life.
Please take care and know that your family on the Dec board love you, will miss you, will pray for you, and will think of you each day sending good wishes your way.
Peace and blessings to you. ~ Terisa
Shawneena,
As a man, I want to apologize to you for the actions of your husband. Some of us men can be very self centered and I hope that you do everything you can to minimize the negative impact that he's having on you at such a difficult time. I hear about situations like this all the time and it hurts me as a man to know that any woman has to deal with anything negative from men at any time - but worst of all when carrying a child.
As all others on this board, I hope that you can focus on what you need for yourself first. You're no good to your baby if you aren't at your best. So, please focus on what you need. Then you can be the best mommy that you can. We're always here if you need to talk (type), and you should know that we're always listening (reading). So turn to us when you need to and know that there are souls out there that long to give you solice and peace and provide a shelter made of friendship.
Please take good care - there are many who care about you.
Steve
Thank you TY, but when my friend falls, I put out my hand... I'm no different than anyone else on this board.
Some don't do what they can because they don't think it will do any good; Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it".
And the best part is that I'm only saying what everyone else is thinking... That makes my heart smile.
S
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