Musing

As I've continued to lose weight, the sagging and wiggling issues have increased around my body. This is a common problem that we share after WLS. Clothing becomes too large too soon, if we have over-purchased them. Originally, scars were the big topic, as the surgery and especially future PS would mean a trade-off between obesity and the thinner body. Later eating issues became the big topic. How much to eat, drink, weigh? There were congratulations and the occasional "you're too thin" comments for the WLS members, which have so bravely supported eachother. The forming of a "kind family" developed here. Of course, there would always be the few members who'd "flame" others online, but it is easy to see that they could not help themselves. Humor and sarcasm can sometimes blend together unfortunately. As an morbidly obese person, I have had times of being thick skinned and also too sensitive to adjust to all of the change around me. I was captive in a cycle of self-loathing, as I viewed my obesity as a flashing sign of my life's failures. Slowly, my self-image has healed, but the damages that came before have scarred me much more than I could ever have imagined with or without WLS. It's easy to say, "Everything is fine. I'm so much happier and healthier now. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, it was the only way for me to lose the weight., etc. My mind is baffled as to why so much attention, both internally and from the public, is paid to weight lose because it seems to be the parallel, yet alternate universe that I've come to live in this year. Between too fat and too thin, is a home planet that is virtual and out of reach to me. A place where virtual friends can give advice, but never really hold your hand. It is a limbo that provides a sense of friendship and a sense of loneliness at the same time. In this reality, I could be speaking to thousands or just musing to myself. I'm making a journey with others and I'm making a journey alone. My destination hasn't changed. I have always aimed at my personal best, as if it would finally become my sanctuary; much more than my home. My life is a one-way ticket and I plan to make the best decisions that I can and try to enjoy my time as a pleasant ride. No profound ending here, just musing.

Hi there!!!! Did you write this? May I re-post it (with credit to you or the author) on my profile page? I could have written this!!!!! This is SO on par with my experience....I love this!!! So glad you shared... Best, Megan

Hi, Megan! Glad that you could identify with my feelings. I'd be honored if you added it on your profile page. Thanks for the compliment. I do believe that it is a very accurate view of my experience. Ro

Ro: Thanks for allowing me to share this with others, to your credit. WOW is all I can say! Best, Megan

Hi Ro....I agree with Megan! Your musings are really profound and speak to all our experiences here. I definitely agree with your thoughts that we find friendship and loneliness out here at the same time. Very true. Going to save this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. HUGS...even 'virtual' ones! Molly

I like how you call this a parallel universe - a home planet out of reach... Once again I am amazed at the fact that there really are other folks who are feeling so many of the same things I feel. Thank you for being open and sharing this with us - very good.

Thanks for understanding. I really feel a longing to be with YOU, but it feels like I am at a loss to get to the "home", which I know offers me the only realistic support on this journey. I imagine that the strength that we share together would certainly be increased, if only we were able to truly be with eachother. Missing you, literally. Ro