I need counseling,,and advice-- LONG POST

Hey, Angela...Good Morning! Well, You've had a lot to think about lately. Here's a secondary point about therapy that I hope that the 12-2006 gang will chat with you about also. I believe that therapy works best if issues discussed are kept between the client and the therapist. If not, the therapy gets "watered down" by other's input. Your family may want updates on your therapy sessions, but it slows-down progress in the long run. Hang in there! Love all of the support that's here for you! Ro

Angela, I am so sorry your sister is giving you a hard time. Needless to say, I'm on your side here (I'm 5'4, 139lbs) and am still trying to loose a few. I think if you want to shut her up once and for all, show her a BMI chart and tell her that as long as you don't go under 18.5 BMI (which for your height is probably around 100 lbs), you are considered healthy and don't want to hear another word about it. She can't argue with science, can she?

Oh Angela, my dear sweet Angela, are you trapped in my body with my life? I live this daily.. especially when I go back to KC. I get a hard time. Do you know that my grandma over dinner asked me what SIZE I am in? Do you guys find that as disrespectful as I do? Then asked my weight! I wanted to say well what size do u wear and what do YOU weigh? Just because I had my intestines rerouted does not give you the need to know all my confidential information! I felt like I was on trial, then of course the comments come, well you are getting too thin blah blah, if you remember a while back I really let it get to me and had a day where I did some self-sabotaging behavior with food. It isn't good for us, this was the part of surgery I WAS NOT prepared for! SO I do understand you feelings and your frustrations. I am seeking a therapist only b/c I need help dealing with others who can't deal with me! Argh, how twisted eh? I also need it to learn to "relax" a bit.. I get to obsessive but at the same time I will not let my guard down just as you won't to return to a lifestyle that lead to obesity. Trust me when I read you post it was like you were singing my song, I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! We will get through this, a big part of this is jealousy I realize this now. Hang in there girlie, you are not alone, we are in this together!!!!! *HUGS*

Hi Angela, Wish I could give you a big hug and let you know that you are not alone. Your relatives love you and do care for you but they can't begin to understand what you are dealing with like the rest of us here on the Dec. board. I agree with everybody else who has said that really your family are the ones who need the counselling but you could benefit from it yourself to help deal with the feelings they bring out in you. We can't ever change others, only the reaction they create within us. This might be just the case where a third party could really help you get through this adjustment time. You have so many challenges to get through in the immediate future, I'm so sorry that handling relatives is now a part of it too. Try to keep focusing on your health and regaining your strength from your recent surgery.

Angela... Are you OK? Please write back to us. This is heart breaking. So sorry...Ro

Hi Ro, I am doing fine. Thanks to all of you for the wonderful advice. I feel a whole lot better. I was with my sister on Friday night and didnt mention anything about Thursday. I agree that I need to stay away from talking about me, my diet, my weight or anything related at this time. Maybe once more time goes by, it will be a "safe zone" but we stuck to talking and laughing about other things and we were fine. I really appreciate from the bottom of my heart all of the support and love that I got here. I agree, it is their problem with accepting the new me. My husband told me the same thing, "if you are happy with it, don't worry about anyone else" but also made a point of saying he is very happy with my size. I'm gonna keep on keepin' on!! Thanks so much again! Angela