Sad update on daughter

Most of you know all of the problems I have had with my 16yr old daughter. She has oppositional defiant disorder and her behavior is out of control. She has no respect for me at all and the way she talks to me is unreal. she does not listen at all and even steals from me. You also know that she was assaulted a few weeks ago. After all that work I did for her to help her, support her, and find her justice she has decided that she wants a new mom. She also does not even go to school. This is the 3rd week of school and she still has not gone. She is living with her "new mom" and even calling this woman mom. There is nothing else I can do. I have tried absoultly everything I can think of and everything our therapist can think of and her dad. Nothing works. I have decided to hand over parental rights to this woman. This woman is making it impossible for me to parent my child because she supports Emily in all her bad decisions, like quitting school! Emily wants someone who allows her to do whatever she want when she wants it. No rules. I refuse to find myself in trouble with the courts because of Emily's choices. She has hurt me beyond forgiveness and if this woman wants to support her in her bad decisions then let her be accountable with the law. So ,needless to say I am heartbroken and devastated that my daughter wants a new mom. I am not a bad mom and have done nothing but love and support my children. I feel so betrayed. It takes all the energy I have not to break down at work. It feels like my daughter is dead and I am in mourning, I do not know who this child is. I at least read the posts on here, but do not always feel much like posting, but I am still here. Take care everyone.. ~ Terisa

Terisa, I just read your note and have tears for you and your daughter, I cannot imagine how you feel. But I will say that from everything I have read you are the kind of mother any one of us would be so thankful to have - loving, supporting, caring through everything. I wish that this was so much easier for both you and your daughter. Please dont give up on her no matter where she is living. I dont know who this other woman is but I sure dont think of her as a responsible adult. I want you to know that we are here for you, we support you and I am thinking of you and wishing you strength through this trying time. Please promise you will continue to take care of yourself too. I wish I was closer I would come over to give you a big hug right now. Thinking of you, Rebecca

Terisa, This is indeed such a sad update. My heart is broken for you and for Emily. She is throwing away such a precious gift and will only learn this the hard way. If only we could make our kids see through our eyes a little while before it is too late. All you can do now is to take care of your wounded heart and try to heal a little while as she is busy making these awful choices. In time, this other woman will undoubtedly get tirred of having her non-dream 'dream daughter' and Emily will probably want to come back home. I hope that if that is the case, she will want to return from love and not a continuation of running away from difficult situations. And I hope you will eventually be healed enough to be able to forgive her...it must seem an impossibility right now. In the meantime, you will be in my prayers. Snuggle your adorable little ones and appreciate all the love that they bestow upon you as a healing gift. You have done your best for Emily and I hope that someday she will come to understand what a gift your love has been. Post whenever you can...we are here for both our mommies who are going through tough times now. Hugs.. Molly

Terisa, sad indeed. My prayers and thoughts are with you thru this difficult time. Take one day at the time and please do not forget to take care of yourself first. Love, Beatriz

Hi, Terisa...Sorry that you are going through such a tough time. The Serenity Prayer has been a great comfort to me. Wishing you happier times. Ro

Thoughts and prayers are coming your way. Stay strong and God will see you through this mini me

I know you are hurting Terisa.. you poor thing. You have been through some really rough times and continue to go through them, bless your heart. Like Molly said, one day she will know what she is putting you through is wrong and if only she could see that now. I guess time will tell more and I hope and pray that you are taking care of yourself through all of this. I am praying for your healing and your family's. I am here if u need to talk. *hugs*

I am so sorry for all you are going through. Someday when she is a mom she will realize ALL that you did for her and how hard it is to be a mom. The other "women" is not trying to be a mom to her she is being a "fun friend" as a mom would not let her do all that she is allowing. She will see her mistakes. I do have 1 question....is this a friends mom or just someone that she has met? BIG HUGS Diana

Thanks everyone for all your prayers and support. They are very much needed right now. I did ask her dad to take her and he did not feel it was a good idea. He said he told her to go to school and to listen and respect me and she did not listen to him either. He is catching her in more and more lies and is really understanding how she is now. He feels it is best for her to learn a hard lesson and let her fall. Even after the things that have happened to her so far she has not learned any lessons. She continues to place herself in places and in bad company where she gets into trouble. I was asked a question...yes, this is her friends mom. It amazes that this woman has kids and can still do this. No mother that I know would. If I was asked to asume parental rights I would have to be completly conviced that this childs mother was truly terrible. Otherwise I would tell the child they need to work things out with their mom and respect their mother. I know I have been a good mom to her. Maybe one day she will see it, but not expected it to happen anytime soon. Thanks again ~ Terisa

(((((huge hugs))))) I'm so sorry you have to go through this Terisa. It was hard watching my mom do it with my sister, my dad didn't think it would be best that he take her either. Unfortunately my sister had to see for herself what life was like and that there were rules to follow, etc. She DID learn though...although it was after many huge mistakes. As parents, we so badly want to protect our kids from everything harmful, we want them to succeed at everything and never have to struggle. Unfortunately however, things will happen to them, we can't protect them from everything, and they have to struggle to learn. And as hard as it is, I think it's most likely necessary. Maybe (and I say maybe) it would be a different situation if you didn't have the younger kids to think about, but you do. All the chaos and such that's going on, of course isn't good for them and they need their mom too. With that in mind, please DO try to take care of yourself, for their sake. I know it's easy for me to say from my seat, but you know in your heart you need to. If you ever need an ear, please know I'm just a phone call away. Just pm me and I'll send you my number. more (((hugs))) and sent your way, Shawn