It's my turn to admit the issues I am having..

Hi Gang! I am so glad to be home but now I am dealing with a lot emotionally/mentally. I am not going to go into detail about it but I will say that I was not mentally prepared for this part of the surgery that I am about to explain to you. When I went back home to KC, I got a lot of attention from family members that haven't seen me in a while. My grandmother is well.. not the nicest of people and likes a lot of attention on herself. I went down for her birthday. Well b/c the attention wasn't on her she became very upset and started making some weird off the wall, irrational statements outloud and started attacking me personally.. it was VERY odd and the whole family is in a state of shock about it. Again not going to go into detail but I just wasn't prepared for *others* jealousy with my surgery. My husband has also laid a lot of his thoughts out for me on how he isn't very happy in our marriage. Again not gonna go into detail but he used the word "jealous" of my journey in his email.. hes an RNY patient too. So as you can see we all have our issues we must deal with. I am just really feeling very vulnerable and alone right now.. its like my success has also turned into a really big struggle for me also. I never feel I flaunt my success or anything, if anything I keep pretty quiet about it. I guess I just wasn't prepared for all of this. I feel very down and very alone right now. Honestly the last thing I want to go is work this weekend taking care of 7 other patients when I really don't feel I can even take care of myself right now but maybe its the best thing for me. I don't think I have ever in my life asked anyone to pray for me, not even before my surgery.. but I am asking you to please pray for me. I am in a really odd and alone spot right now and could use any help I can get. This was hard for me to right, thanks for listening and sorry to unload on all of you, I just wasn't sure where to turn. I thank you all for being there for me and for eachother. Hugs, Melissa

Melissa I am soo sorry for what you are going through. You are one of the NICEST people I have "meet" on this board and are always sooo willing to help others I feel like I do "know" you. PLEASE let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do. I am just a phone call away and I LOVE to talk and listen!!! Praying for you and BIG HUGS Diana

thanks Diana.. I am feeling a bit better.. hubby and I had a chance to talk more about it. There are more layers to it than what I mentioned.. but I think we will be fine in the long run just need to work out the details some. Thanks for the prayers! -Melissa

sent you a pm.....

Thanks Terisa

Melissa, thanks for trusting us with you problems. We are more than happy to listen. As far as the issue with your grandmother, I could tell you to please ignore her and not make much out off it. Fortunately, you live far away and her no so nice words are not going to get to you that often. You are doing so good on your journey that it's not worth it to let her ruin it for you. However, I am very concerned about the comment from your husband. That's the one you need to work on it and be worried. I always thought I had a bad marriage but I see know that all my problems were strictly related to my weight issues. Loosing all this weight has helped me be a better wife/mother/person and that is what counts. Communicate with your husband and find out what is that is making him jealous. Communication is a great tool, use it wisely. Do not forget that we care, sending lots of prayer and hugs your way. Take care, Beatriz

Hi Beatriz, I also realized after losing weight that some of my marriage problems were due to my obesity. Some still are a problem and there is more to it than just what I mentioned but we are talking about it. We are already seeing a counselor and go again Tuesday so hopefully that will help us get some things out in the open, off our chests, etc... we still really love eachother that is no doubt just have to iron out the kinks. Thanks for all the kind words, prayers and hugs. It means a lot! -Melissa

Melissa, bless your heart having to deal with this. I agree the issue with your Grandmother is one thing, but the issue with you H is quite another. I think it is a good sign that your H was open and honest about his feelings. The bad thing would be if he felt these things and were not sharing them with you. I am glad you came here to post, it is good we have this place. I am sending you a pm also. HM

Thanks for the PM I am going to write you back here soon! I appreciate the feedback!

Hi Melissa, You can count on me for prayers for sure. I hope that work will help you get a little insulation from the immediacy of these problems this weekend and that you will be able to face them on Monday. What everybody else said makes sense to me too...Gramma is not important but making things right with your husband is very important. You have expressed before how proud you are of him and how important he is to you and I hope that he will be open to working together with you to make your marriage a happy one again. I've been married 24 years and they haven't all been happy and we haven't always been deliriously in love but we respected each other enough to never quit. It doesn't mean we are bullet-proof but we still keep working at it and I hope that you two will too. It isn't always easy work but it is very worthwhile. Hang in there and know that we are all out here pulling for you! Vent anytime you need, like everybody else I'm here to listen too. Hugs! Molly