MIA

Sorry everyone, I have been missing in action for a few days. I have just been so tired that I have not felt much like posting or reading much lately. I am trying to get back into a healthy routine where I am eating enough to gain back some energy, but does not seem to be working. Physically I am feeling a little better, but the energy level is very low. I hope everyone has a wonderful day today!! ~ Terisa

Glad to see you back. I hope you start feeling more like yourself soon and get some energy back too!

Hi, Terisa! Sorry to hear that you have been running on "low". I am eating about 750-800 calories per day, whi*****ludes 180 calories from my protein supplement. I've tried to vary foods in small amounts and have a few old standards to eat when I know that my intake is too low. I actually enjoy the following: LS oatmeal, farina w/ a little Blue Bonnet or I Can't Believe It Not Butter, 1/2 mini popcorn bag w/ "ICBINB", Tropical SF ice pops. A lot of times I open the refrigerator or make a meal for my family and think...I really don't want to eat any of this food. Most of the time I end up eating a 1/2 cup of bean & veggie mix that is on hand and a bit of what the others are eating. If you like beans this might be of interest to you. Let me know. I recently ate the dreaded dry chicken and ended up foaming and sliming...wretch! At 8 months after surgery, I think that I expected to have it figured-out, but I am still doing the trial and error method. What's going on with your eating? -- Ro

Ro~ I have basically developed an eating disorder. I am so fearful of food and the calories. Each calorie feels like a pound and I am so afraid of not losing or even gaining. I still see myself as just as heavy if not more so than before surgery. Yes, I am aware that is not very logical, but it is what it is. I have been really working on this issue before it gets out of control and I end up being anorexic. My body had been really experiencing the effects of malnutrition and it is taking a while to get my calories where they should be and to get my body back in a healthy state. Slowly but surely I will get there. Take care ~ Terisa

Terisa...How honest...The "hold" that you are feeling from the eating disorder seems perfectly logical to me. You lost an amazing amount of weight in a short period of time and your brain has not "caught-up" with that reality yet. Possibly you're trying to fill that gap. Not eating seems to be the logical thought...because it seems the "best" choice rather than risking being obese again. "Best" choices usually occur when we feel a bit trapped by our fear...a silent, everything is normal panic attack. On the outside everything seems OK. On the inside the obsessive thoughts keep cycling over and over again. I'm glad that you shared your problem and that you are open to talking about the turmoil that you've been going through regarding food. I've felt a change toward eating similar to what you have described in your post. My attitude is it is no longer my "turn" to be the fat person anymore...I am done with that...lots of anger, right. Really, my fear is based in that the "slims" out there are probably saying, "She looks great now, bu****ch....Al Roker gained it back...Yada...Yada..." My reality is also that it is what it is. From what I got from your post, you absolutely know what is the correct way to eat. So how about feeding that beautiful body of yours! You're a great MOM...be a MOM to yourself...You're in trouble...and you would not let your child starve. It comes down to self-talk and nurturing. You are great at both. Right now you are divided...actually divided by the disorder. Only you can take on the MOM role and nurture the fears that you have been dealing with way too long. Hey, if I'm wrong...let me know. I think that I've had some of the feelings that you described. We both know that it will end badly, if you don't start caring for yourself now. That's the kind of reality that I look at the most. Once I realized that my fears and weaknesses "would be found-out", I tried for my personal best only. WE all need to eat. We all need help from positive people and our Drs./Nuts now that we've had our surgeries. We, you and I, are not alone in having powerfully negative thoughts tied to being OBESE. How in the world could a reasonable amount of food make you gain the weight back? Your body is "built" not to gain now...so you'd have to be a horrible glutton and irresponsible to have such a gain. YOU'RE NOT like that...are you? Just consider my opinion...I've come through a lot in my 50 years...most of it has made me the person that I am today...strong and disfunctional...LOL Lots of Love -- Ro

Hi Terisa I hope today is a better day for you! I know today is going to be a GREAT day at our house as last night was my sons 10th Bday party and the 6 boys go home in a few hours Big Hugs Diana

Hope your son had a wonderful birthday and hope you are destressing now!!

Hey Sweetie, Please be taking those vitamins and staying hydrated.. get a protein shake down if you can.. you need to be able to function. I am thinking of you and sending big hugs your way! Melissa

Melissa~ I am making sure I am taking my vitamins and I uppped my biotin. My hair has really been falling out lately so I thought I should probably do that. I am also getting in enough water, that is never a problem and I have come to love the protein drinks. I look forward to having one every day. Yummy! Yeah, I know some people hate them, but not me. Thanks for the hugs!!

Nice to have you back, you need to care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. All that running around without enough nutrients is not good. We need you here, so please, please take super good care of yourself today.