emotionally devastated

I am about 2 weeks post op. Everyone seems to be talking about the food aspect of this surgery. While I am sick of the liquids and watching people eat what ever they want, I am having a harder time with the emotional aspect. I feel as though I have lost this comfort, this friend for ever. I have cried everyday since my surgery. I am starting to see a counselor because I am at a loss as to how to deal with missing food. Hasn't anyone else had this experience? I know that I am not the only emotional eater out there. I feel as though I am mourning a lost relationship. Sadie

Oh Sadie, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I've heard about this happening. I am extremely sensitive and overly hormonal since surgery 2 weeks ago, but you seem to realy be in mourning. I wish I had advice to give you, but I don't. I will keep you in my prayers and will send loving thoughts your way. Please try to stay positive. Perhaps, pick up a new hobby to replace your relationship with food. I think you are making a great move going to see a counselor. It will really help you. Best of luck and know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Julie

Sadie, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I spent the first week after surgery feeling a bit dazed, and the second week crying my head off, and it seemed almost ridiculous to discuss it...I mean, sobbing over not being able to have a cheeseburger....but a 2 year post op patient in our area wrote me and helped me understand. For so long food had been my best friend...my comfort, my solace, my reward, even what I used to transition from one part of my day to the next. It is only natural that we would go through a process of grief. It IS grieving, and you ARE mourning a lost relationship, even if it was one that was ultimately damaging to you....This feeling will not last forever, and you will get stronger everyday in how you feel without it, but be patient with yourself. I have been exactly where you are, and am only just on the other side of it (5 weeks post-op). It does get better. Chin up and feel free to vent. All the best. Sharon J.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I am actually feeling lonely without the food. I am not married and have no kids. My counselor said that the food was replacing relationships for me. Now I will work on how to have healthy relationships with people. That gives me hope. I just couldn't believe that no one talked about the emotional side of the surgery before I had it. I am feeling like I shouldn't have had it, mainly to avoid the sadness. Until now I didn't think there was hope to getting better and feeling normal. But I think someday I will. Sadie

I am right there with you. I am SUCH an emotional eater. I'm 5 weeks out, and I have cried several times since surgery. Cried because I can't eat what/how much I want. Food definitely doesn't comfort me like it used to, and I haven't found another outlet yet. I've cried because I can't believe what I did to myself. I can't believe I did something so drastic. I'm disappointed because I couldn't get this under control by myself. I've heard that this is normal, and it does get better, but it doesn't make it any easier to go through. I think it's great that you've started to see a counselor to help you get through this. And I feel like we 'are' mourning a lost relationship. Esspecially those of us that are emotional eaters. If you need to talk, please let me know. I really do know exactly what you're going through. Good Luck and God Bless Sara

I am so glad someone out there knows how it feels. I have considered replacing food with other things and comforts but nothing is the same. I think if it had been that easy I would have already done it. I know how you feel about the regret. I just can't believe that I wasn't able to do this on my own. Why did I need such a drastic surgery to get the results. But when I think about it intellectually, I realize I coudn't have done it on my own. Now I just have a little hope that the future will be easier. Sadie

Ladies, I know what you mean I didn't want to admit that I was going through withdrawal either . It seems every commercial is about something I can't have to eat. I even started TIVO'ing things on the food channel when I was really hungry and would look at it. What has helped me is Obesityhelp. When I really feel down in the dumps I log on and read other profiles or look for interesting topics to read or respond to. Focus on the positive, make a list of all of things you CAN/WILL do as a result of this surgery. "Like crossing your legs without assistance " or " Walking into the bathroom stall front ways instead of sideways " OK Maybe it's just me

Sadie: Hang in there! I had horrific "head hunger" the first week post op. I was home, and watching all sorts of commericals for stuff I couldn't have. I truly had to push through the grieving while acknowledging that this was a real loss. No one other than other WLS folks has been able to relate to this. But, I am back to work now, and that helps. I have a routine, and I am graduating from liquids to pureed food in a few days, so I am hopeful. I was also really hormonal after surgery, so if you're experiencing this, it could be adding to your stress levels. This also got better for me. All in all, keep asking OH for support and take it one day at a time... Best, Megan

I too can truly empathize with you. I understand exactly how you feel. Food was my best friend for as long as I can remember and although it wasn't good for me, it got me through some difficult times. Now that I don't have that outlet, I sometimes don't know what to do. I hate it and miss food greatly. However, I just take it day by day and hope that it will get better soon. ((((HUGS)))) to all of you.

Hi Sadie, I was not sad about the liquids but did get a little tired of them when I had about 3 days left. My problem now is that I dont want to eat, I have no desire to eat but know that I need to. I tend to procrastinate on eating because food just does not feel the same to me. Also, every now and then I think about doing things like going to the movies and I automatically think about food related events like "where are we going to eat after the movies". I have a bit of envy when I see and hear people talking about food but I dont let it get to me because I feel my weight loss is greater than eating. I really have to talk myself out of getting sad or depressed about it because the reality is, I cant eat like that and dont want or need to eat like that. We need to work on channeling our thoughts and energy to other things. I especially must do that because it seems like EVERYTHING revolved around food and it really shouldnt and cant anymore. This is our new life and it will really be ok when more time goes by and we can start to eat more variety and when we really start seeing some great weight loss. I am excited about that and getting off of the meds that I am on as a result of my previous weight. Please continue to seek help with this issue, and it will be beneficial for you. Angela