Hello to all my fellow one year veterans. Today is my 1 year anniversary/re-birthday and it has changed my life forever. As I sat down this morning to my (very small) breakfast, I reflected on what a difference this past year has been. It was a very rough start after surgery where I had to indure a few side effects such as an infection in the main incision and mouth thrush, and at the time I thought it was the end of the world and questioned myself as to why did I have this surgery done. Today I know why, it was to save my life and so far it has done. I am free of sleep apnea, free of no energy and most of all, free to enjoy my life in a healthy way. It's not an easy journey and the head still plays mind games with me, such as I mentioned in my recent post about feeling fat. I am down 106lbs and now weigh 124 from 230. Today I feel wonderful, I feel proud of what I have achieved so far, and take each day at a time to get through it still fighting those demons that still haunt my brain. We are never cured from this food addiction, but to be in recovery today feels gr8. I pat myself on the hand today and tell myself CONGRATULATIONS!! I am even going to treat myself to a brand new CHI hairdryer today, why a hairdryer? Because my closet has stretch marks from all the clothes I have been splurging on and I need to wear them now. My hair needs to be maintained also! It's just a little indulgence/chanukah present to myself from myself, and it's far better than the indulgence of the foods that got me into trouble for many years. Thanks for reading this, and I wish a very happy re-birthday to all of you who had your surgery this month, and to my twins of today!! Love, Joanne

Hey there, Thanks for your reply Kristin. I also want to mention that I have also been experiencing a slight numbness in my right calve and right side of the foot, its just a slight numbness, more like a tingling sensation. I have been told by my chiropractor that it comes from the pressure of the tailbone on the sciatica nerve, have u experienced that at all? Please let me know. Thanks. Joanne

Our padding is gone! My tailbone hurts when I sit on anything that is not cushioned. My husband jokes that I need to start taking a chair cushion with me everywhere I go, and I'm starting to think it's not a bad idea. My mom, who actually had this surgery 5 years ago, did take a chair cushion with her, even to sit on in the car! We all thought she was so funny, but now I see why!

I posted this on the IN board and thought I would share with my December buddies. 1 whole year for us can you believe it? Hi all, 1 year ago today I was sitting in the pre-op area with the worst headache of my life ( off diet pepsi ). Today I am 113 pounds lighter. It has been a crazy ride, with so many changes. I am so emotional today, sitting here crying as I write this. Its been a hard year, from approval to surgery date was only 9 days. The day of my pre-op testing we found out my husbands mom only had 2 weeks to 2 months to live and she died 6 weeks later. She was so proud of me for taking control of my life, and I know she's in heaven cheering me on. I am so thankful for this second chance at life. I didn't realize at the time how unhappy, unhealthy, and sick I really was. This year has been so hard on so many levels, but I also have gotten to know things about myself I never knew. I am completely different, and I'm treated differently by people now. I have wondered if its because I've lost weight, but the reality is I think I let people know what I need and expect instead of just being able to eat it all away. I am so thankful for this gift that God has given me. I'm thankful for the support of this group who I am so proud to call my friends. I couldn't have made it this far with all your help. I am so thankful for my great family, especially my mom, who has worried about me constantly, but been there for everything. My great husband, who has been by me every step of the way, I have felt guilty this year, because at times I couldn't be there for him like he needed, because I had to focus on myself. Grieving the loss of his mom and living with a person who is changing as much as I am is hard, but he is so proud of me and I'm so thankful for him. and my kids who now say "Mommy you can try this its sugar free". They made me a little book with before and after pics, I just might have to post the pic of my 9 year old holding up my old undies, nest to the 3 year old holding up the new undies. They definately ar e creative, and proud of me. For all of you who are pre-op or thinking about the surgery, there are times its not fun, not easy, and you think why did I do this, but its all worth it. To be healthy, to look and feel better, to have a chance to do things I never would have done while heavy. Its truly a blessing, and this Christmas I get to eat. Thanks everybody, Sarah

Hi Joanne, Been lurking here for quite a while and saw your post. I too, have the fatty feeling creep in from time to time. I can't tie it to any nutrition or emotion triggers. I look down and see a tummy that looks like a 4" bulge and then try on my size 12 wranglers and sure enough, they still fit. Then I look in the mirror and I see the fat image that's in my head. Then I jump on the scale and usually I've lost a bit. Go figure. I read your profile and I'm nothing but admiration for your resolve. It's hard to believe that before picture is you. You've done fantastically!!! Possible fix to the fatty head trip: Get on the scale. Confirm there's no signifigant gain. Put on the tightest clothes you have and analyze yourself in the mirror from the shoulders down, looking at your body as if it were someone else (tilt the mirror so you actually can't see your face). Then accept the fact that you're looking fabulous and it's just another dying gasp from our former fat image that's been in our subconscience for so many years. Then wrap your arms around yourself for a well-deserved hugggg and repeat after me "WOWWW, I look mahhhvelous and I've got a great new life." Hope this helps - I think I'll try it myself next time batty fatty shows up. Shar 312/242/168/165