# of pounds lost

Hi December friends, Over the weekend I had something a little embarrassing thing happen and I was wondering if you have experienced it yet and how you handled it ? Or if maybe I'm being too sensitive because I'm generally pretty shy? My brother and sister-in-law were over and it was the first time they'd seen me since about a week after surgery. They were going on and on about how they could tell such a difference and it was really nice to hear and I'm grateful for their support and concern. But they also had a guy friend with them that I don't know at all and I was a bit embarrassed when they kept asking how much weight I've lost and when I tried to shrug it off and say I didn't know EXACTLY because I try not to weigh too often, they started guessing. lol. With family and close friends, I don't really mind telling them but I don't feel comfortable talking about it with strangers or mere acquaintences... (I've lost 90 pounds including the 30 before surgery but still have much more than that to go) Anyway, any suggestions on how to handle these situations? Or perhaps on what to tell the one co-worker who I am not close with but who asks me every time she sees me? I guess I sound petty because I should be happy people are interested... And I was pretty open with people when it came to letting people know I was having the surgery... I just am too shy to talk about specifics at this point. Thanks!

I can realate. It makes me feel uncomfortable when people who I am not close with want to know the specifics. I try to dodge the question by using the "i dont weigh often, so I am unsure" response, but I have had a few people who kept pressing for a number. I don't think they are being rude, just curious. I was just thinking about possible answers the other day and the next time it happens I think I might say "oh, enough to feel a ton better" or something along those lines. I think that might give them the clue that I am not going to answer with an actual poundage. I hope others have a good responce, because I really need one too. AND furthermore, I never really know what to say when people who I would answer the question for ask, because over the past two years I lost about 40 pounds on my own before WLS, so do they want to know TOTAL or just SURGERY pounds lost.

Yeah, I never know exactly what to answer either (in regards to since surgery vs. total Thanks for the response. I usually tell the lady at work something something very simple like "a whole lot" and just hope she gets the message. I don't want to be rude or anything because I know she is just trying to be positive and supportive.

I've been getting annoyed with this question too-I'm down 62 pounds today-and I have at least another ton to go. It's to the point where I'm ready to say, "not enough, how about you?"--I think we need to come up with a good answer. I guess I'm just embarassed that I have so much more to go.

The embarrassment factor is the big thing for me. Igues I think people are going to look at me and think, "Geez, if you've lost that much already and you STILL look like that ..." I know I shouldn't care what people think but I do.

When people ask how much I've lost, I'm proud to tell them (including strangers) because I'm working my rump off to get these pounds off. I'm gonna be proud to talk about what I have done. Thats just me. Congratulations on what you have done, keep up the good work. Shawney

Personal questions often require some fancy footwork. If the person asking is geniunely interested I usually tell them what they ask, within reason. If it is a curiousity inquiry (co-worker who is not close), I answer in more vague terms of "more than I would have ever dreamed of" or "about half of my goal" or if it isn't a good day "not enought to brag about yet." For the situation where the inquisiton gets too overboard (like the brother and sister-in-law) I would answwer in a goofy way that got the message across..... Good grief, can't a girl have any secrets? or If I tell you that I will have to kill you or Top Secret information, come back next time I get naked and see for yourself. I do talk about my successes because someone may be considering the same process. I have my phobias about some folks and how they respond and react to me. My father in law is one of them. (He asked my husband, "Are you sure you want to marry a fat girl because you will always have a fat wife"). I figure if I take someone out one day, I can blame it on the hormone shift and I will have all of you as character witnesses at my trial.... Vicky

I don't mind talking about anything to do with the surgery but I am a nurse and nurse's talk about weird stuff anyway. It helps to get accurate information out about the surgery and recovery.

I feel the same way you gals do. My brother will call me at work and ask me how much weight I have lost? Not hello, how are you doing, how's the nephew...etc. When I question why he said that one of his co-workers wants to know. You know, before WLS he would've have never asked and I wouldn't have told. The fact is that I'm not even half-way to goal and am struggling with the plateaus just like everyone else. He saw me this weekend and stated that I looked less bloated. Don't discuss specfics...just mention how good you feel and walk on. If they can ask a woman her weight...then I can ask them what is their checking account balance? Chauncine

HAHAHA I soooooooooo didn't think you were going to say "checking account balance." Thought you were going to go a whole other direction. Basically, when someone is truly interested and I'm close with them, I am pretty open -- as I would have probably been with my brother and sister-in-law, had it not been for there being a stranger with them. And I am with people who are thinking of getting the surgery. But for the others, I like some of the answers you guys are giving. Thanks!