why I lost in court

Everything appeared to be in my favor. James admitted to getting drunk while Rachel was at his house on several occasions. They presented all the evidence of the major fluctuations in Rachel's grades. They even went to Rachels school and got the report card that was scheduled to go out today, and Rachel grades are terrible, even got a "D" in one subject, they showed pictures of Rachel from when I had her to now, a 38 lbs. difference. The pschological report even noted Rachel had mild depression. They noted all the lack of activity, and the fact that James chose to have no contact with Rachel for 2 years. But the guardian for Rachel still favored James because she said I had no answer as to why I didn't show up for the hearing last year and the judge agreed. Even though there was substantial evidence as to the changes in Rachel and the concerns of James's drinking problem, they said I didn't show up in court last year and that was grounds for change of custody to James. I am heartbroken. They are hurting Rachel and what upsets me so much is they are punishing Rachel and NOT looking out for Rachels best interest. Its all because I snubbed my nose at the court last year and pissed the court off. The guardian nor the judge even talked with Rachel. The guardians last conversation with Rachel was last year in June. I can appeal, but my attorney said it was useless, because I can't appeal the decision made, I can only appeal the procedural issue ( whether the judge followed the rules of the law & court). He said I would have to wait until Rachel turns 11 or 12, then the judge will talk with Rachel. She turns 9 in April. I am at a loss, I have no clue where to go from here. Somehow this case needs to go public. Rachel is hurting and they don't care about Rachel, they only care about the fact I missed court. Because of my mistake, Rachel is suffering the consequences. The Virginia court system is terrible, but nobody in NC can help me because Virginia retained jurisdiction over Rachel when I moved to NC in '97. I am at a loss...I can only imagine how my girl feels right now. Barbara

Barbara: I don't know you that well, but I am a mother and I went through a 3 year custody battle with my ex husband. In the end it was never about what was best for my daughter but who had the most money to spend on attorneys and court costs. I lost and we had joint custody with primary residence at her father's house. It was heartbreaking and horrible, but I made the best of my time with my daughter and knew that she would eventually be old enough to decide. 4 years later she did decide and has been back with me for the last 3 1/2 years. All I can say is keep your chin up, it will get better. Take care, Charlene

I am soooo sorry Barbara. (((((Barbara)))))) I don't know what to say. I am sooo sad for you and your daughter. I will keep you both in my prayers. God Bless you and your family, Bobbie Tate

Awww.sweetie,how awfull this is! The courts are soo screwd up,they only look at things from one point of view,and it dosen't even matter who it hurts or what the consiquences are. I am truly so sorry this is happening to you,I can only imagine how you must be feeling from one mother to another. You keep your chin up and just remember your daughter loves you,and cherish every moment you get with her even if it is only a phone conversation,every moment matters and she knows you love her no matter if she can't be with you! You both are in my prayers! If there is anything I can do for you just let me know! Take care and God Bless you both!! Your friend, Sonya

Dear Barbara, My heart hurts for you so badly. I wish there was something I could do. I am at a loss. The court system needs a major overhaul, but that doesn't help you or Rachel right now. You have my sympathy. Love, Diane

Go to the Department of Social Services in the Virginia town that Rachel lives in with her dad. Find some lawyers in that area that has child custody specialties. You should be able to file for cusody & get a new trial. My heart aches for you--Rachel needs to be with you.

Hi Debbie, I will call them tomorrow, the only problem I have with attorneys in that area is the fact that my ex's brother and brother-in-law are state troopers, the brother in the same town and the b-n-l in the next county. I'm not sure if I can even get a new trial, since this case was based on an appeal from last year that took it from J & DR court to General District court. I feel like I am lost and have no where to turn. My question is and always has been is "why can't NC take over jurisdiction" since I obtained my divorce in NC and it incorporated the separation agreement that was done in VA to the NC decree. Everything is sooo complicated. When I called Rachel last night, she told me she was sick at school vomiting. I know it was because she was so upset wondering what was going on. My heart aches for her. Thanks for your prayers and I ask that you keep Rachel in your prayers as she is the one who is most affected by this. Barbara

Hi. I had the same problem with my hair. My Stylist recommended Nioxin Shampoo and conditioner. It is kind of expensive; but, well worth the expense. It really helped my thinning hair. You might try drinking fruit juices. That seemed to help me when I couldn't or wouldn't drink anything else. I also drink a lot of smoothies to get my protein in. Hang in there. I will get better. Good luck.

One month - wow! I can totally see a differnce especially in the waist area!! Congrats!!

That is great! 54 pounds ago though...you need to get a new one up there!