I don't know if you all remember me or not... so let me give a brief re-introduction. I'm Brooke I'm 26 and I live in Illinois. I left the hospital weighing 298 and today when I got on the scale I weighed 192. My lowest weight was around 178. So I've been reading all the posts and relating them to my own life... Look at Us.... I'm so depressed all the time... I read my journal sometimes of when I first had my surgery and I was so motivated... I was so excited and willing to follow all the rules... I didn't eat sugar at all for a full year after my surgery. I exercised religiously every day and I lost... I lost 100 pounds. Now I look at myself and I just want the me from Dec 2004 to come kick the me of right now's ass (she could do it she has serious weight advantage). I had the psychological eval and I swore up and down I could follow the program for the rest of my life... I was desperate I would do anything to be thin. I can recite the dietary requirements given by my nutritionist in my sleep and I can tell you how many grams of protein in virtually every food in my house. Why did I stop... what made me give up... I feel like I'm proving them right... you know who "them" is right? Those people who thought I was taking the easy way out (if you consider getting sawed in half and biologically altered easy) and knew that no matter what I was going to fail. Those people who were secretly envious and hoped that I would never make it. Now look at my food choices... I had McDonalds last night. I've messed up... and the biggest thing is I'm doing it to myself. I put that happy meal into my body... I drove there and ordered it... Why am I doing this? because it's hard now? Well my pouch isn't streched it's sitting there still intact... and my body keeps asking me why I put it through so much if I wasn't going to follow threw... why I am such a health tease. My blood is asking me where the hell the iron is and why I've stopped taking my vitamins. This is my answer... I'm sorry I've messed up. I've fallen into the same habits as before... no excuse... excuses made me 298 in the first place. My tool is still in place and I promised myself I would do it. These last 50 pounds are going to be the hardest... but I guess that makes them the most worth while. I'm not going to use the normal cliche phrases... nothing tastes as good as being thin feels because I've NEVER been thin and I don't know that... or now I'm not living to eat, but eating to live... because my brain still can't wrap itself around the fact that what I put in my mouth is fuel for my body. What I am going to do is take action. Complete the promise that I made to myself. Show "them" that I'm one tough ***** Walk into my high school reunion next year and make them wonder who I am.... I'm going to live again.. with purpose... I'm going to start... now. Are you with me?

Hi, I bounce between ten pounds but don't worry myself to death over it. As long as I never go pass 200lbs. I eat like **** also so your not alone. I'm trying with my husbands help to get back on track because if I don't eat properly then I'm on the toilet with the Sh%$ You could go back to the diet when you first had your surgery and try that. Hugs Donna

Yes, it's pretty easy to start gaining, and really hard to lose it now. The things that worked to take it off after the first year or so aren't enough now. I'm walking and watching what I eat, and it's still not enought. Very Frustrating, and I've gained about 25 lbs back. I need to get on the scale every single day to stay on top of it.

Hi Stranger.... I've been busy too.... Can't remember the last time I came here. With my move back home to FL, and the new job, working weird and long hours, I rarely have much time to get online. Plus with my backsliding ways since I started this new job, I don't feel very good about coming here often. I am still 100 lbs less than when I started, but that 2 year anniversay hit with a vengance. Yikes.... Hopefully after I get my back fixed again, and I get off all these pain meds, maybe I can get back on track. somethings gotta give soon. Susan

YOU GO WITH TWINS!!! You will have your hands full. I NEVER had any children. I have step children but that's it. I would like adopt but I'm 47 and my husband is 61 so he says NO!!! I wish you all the luck and keep in touch on how things are going. You can email me if you wish at [email protected]. Hugs Donna