Norma, Don't you be ashamed, be proud of what you've accomplised!!! Just keep reminding yourself where you are and how far you've come. I think that we all have gone through that dilema of gaining again, we just need to get a hold of ourselves and get back on track. I've found that if I don't exercise every day the weight seems to come back very easily for me and I have to really watch the carbs that I take in. Keep a food journal and write down every bite you put in your mouth and it really helps you see what you are doing. Don't forget we are here for you and support is so very important to success. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Take care, Loni

Hello Ms. Loni, and All You December Folks! I'm hangin' in there too. I've done the gaining thing as well, and the losing thing too. I had gotten down to 153, which for someone of my height of 5-11, that was way too thin. I started out in a size 26-28 at 295lbs (I know a lite wt to many) but at 153 I was wearing a size 6, which was way too small.... my eyes were starting to sink in, I was looking sickly, so I knew I needed to gain a few lbs... Well, as we all know, that is not what anyone who has had WLS ever needs to be told... Thats like being told... GO AHEAD.... GIVE ME A 5LB BAG OF HERSHEY KISSES AND WATCH ME EAT THE WHOLE THING RIGHT NOW!!! I can't eat that many at once... But a 1 lb bag will last me a week.... and they don't mak me sick either dang it.... My job has to be one of the most dysfunctional jobs on the face of the earth. I hate to say it, but I truely hate my job. I have never hated a job like I hate this one. But it pays really well. I have to weigh the good vs the bad. I think the stress is what made me gain my weight. Is it an excuse??? I'm not real sure. You decide... When I started working there I weighed 157 in Nov 06. On Mar. 10th '08 I had to go out for back surgery. I weighed 209. (A gain of 52 lbs) I returned to work this past Monday, May 19th 08 (10 weeks later) I now weigh 186. Lost 23 lbs in 10 weeks away from work and all of the dysfunctional stress. I blame the stress at work. I would still like to lose another 20 lbs. I'm not able to exercise because of my back surgery I just had to haave on April 7th. My Dr wouldn't even let me go to Physical Therapy after surgery this time. No excessive walking, prolonged standing, sitting, or exercising. To be honest, it really doesn't hurt my feelings, as I'm just not comfortable enough to do much. I still have some numbness in my left leg, and my last 2 toes are still numb like there is a rubber band tied around them, they just aren't blue... I am back to work this week 4 hrs per day, next week 6 hrs per day, then the next week 8 hrs per day. Depending on how the stress level goes after that, I may have to look for something else, even if it means taking a pay cut, as long as I can have family insurance for me and my kids. I know I have whined about my boys in the past. My youngest has always been my problem child with his severe emotional/behavioral issues. Well, we have just found out in February that my oldest son, who has just turned 17, also has his own set of issues. We've known that he had ADD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Learning Disabilities (Severely Dyslexic), However he is very smart. He is in 11th grade and is in dual enrollment high school/college for web design. Honor roll for both. Oh and he also has a seizure disorder (epilepsy - very mild - focal seizures). Like this all wasn't enough, he started to become very depressed after a medication changed for his seizures/Bipolar Disorder. He started to become very aggressive with me, and actually physically hurt me once, as he is now bigger than me. But he just wasn't being himself, things were really getting strange. So once he finally came home after running, and he was calmed down, I called the hospital, alerted them we were coming, and had him admitted. Since then we have been given 2 new diagnoses. The 1st one kinda me me angry, because this child has been seen by psychiatrist since he has been 4 yrs old, and no one has picked up on this and it is usually diagnosed much younger. He has finally been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which is a high functioning Autism, which usually shows itself with a severe lack of social skills, a lack, or inability to make eye contact with people, and things like this. Well, this is definite my child. While he is in the hospital, we also find out that for the last 5 yrs that he has been hearing voices, but hasn't felt like he could tell anyone, because he didn't think anyone would believe him. At first they were leaning towards multi-personality disorder, but as time as passed, and we have had a 2nd hospitalization, they have now decided against that diagnosis, and have decided this is what is called Schizoaffective Personality Disorder, which basically is Schizophrenia. When he is angry, and he hears the voices, he acts on what the voices tell him to do. Unfortunately, the voices don't tell him to do very nice things. Luckily it doesn't happen very often, and is the easier of the 2 to treat. And while I thought my youngest was the one with the more serious issues, it has been my oldest who has been giving me my run for my money the last couple of months. Some days I wonder what I did to deserve these kids, and then I think God must think I'm someone special, or he wouldn't have given them to me. Then I also go thru my guilt stages too. But I mostly live with the thoughts of... Tomorrow has to be better than today.... and usually it is. If it gets to be too much, we call the police, have them hauled off, and that usually gives us a weeks reprieve. We have good Dr's, Therapist, and we are on the right track. If my mom and I can keep our sanity, the rest will all fall into place. The oldest is doing the summer session at college... It is all paid for... classes, books, even a bus pass... plus, on top of that, they pay him $100 per week to take the summer course, and he gets high school credits along with his college credits. Classes are 8 weeks for the summer, he can save $800, I am gonna try to match it towards working toward a car for him. This can work towards insurance. Lifes little lessons. The little one is going to take guitar lessons this summer, maybe do summer school just for something to do. We looked for Summer Camps, but to no avail, we couldn't find anything that would accept him. Poor kid, he just cn't handle the large group settings. OK, enough whining from me.... Otherwise, I'm doing ok.... Need to head to bed as it is getting late! Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day Weekend. I know I'm looking forward to it! Need to stop by here more often! Sure do miss you all! Even thru my busy-ness Take care! Susan

Hi Karen Glad to see some of us still hang out on the 2004. You look great Hugs Donna

Hi Donna ! Same to you. I hope your day has been a good one. Cheers Karen G

I might be back online so wanted to wish all you mother's a big HAPPY MOTHERS DAY Hugs Donna