need some help please

I really enjoy this board when I look at other people's post it really helps me to see that it all just doesn't happen overnight. I don't know if I really need help but I know I really need to vent I am at eight months post op and I've only lost 58-60 pounds I hit a three month plateau and can' t seem to get passed it. I eat stuff that I know I shouldn't and regret it once I am done. I've never head the dumping syndrome and I only through up once since I had the surgery I should be very grateful for that and not abuse my surgery. I just moved and am going through some difficult times and just wish I had the support and motivation I had back where I had my surgery I don't have any walking buddies I really don't wnat anyone to know I had surgery because I am ashamed of my reults and my eating pattern. I tried to go to a local support group and it just felt so different I felt like I didn't belong and I felt ashamed to ask the questions I had. I moved on May 26th and I"ve gained and lost that same pound since I've been here and that's with walking and riding a bike. I am so happy to be 50pounds or two pounds lighter but I am so discouraged and feel like it's not going to work for me. Lately I have been snacking more than I did and I still eat smaller portions and try not to eat untill I feel full but there is something wrong I'm scared I am going to gain back the 58 plus some. Occassionally I may eat a few chips, I may eat something fried, sweets have been a big problem a hershey kiss here or a cookie there. I've giving up on walking I get motivated walk at least two to three miles don't see any results I give up. I ride the bike with my son everyday I don't get results I give up. Idrink liquids but I know it's not 64 ounces. I eat protein I know it's not 70-80 grams. I'm probaly eating more calories I don't think it's over 1400 but some days I'm not for sure. I know this is not healthy; one of the ladies that had the surgery back where I moved from died; she was obsessed with losing the weight she got so depressed once she got down to around ninety-eight pound and would not eat or even go out the house she got to her lowest at seventy pounds her husband told her she was getting to small and that she needed to eat more and she couldn't she just gave up she got put on a breathing machine and everything I didn't mean to get off track but I am feeling so low I just moved and having trouble finding a place my little sister was killed in a car accident and it's getting close to her memorial I don't like the way my body look I still feel really fat I don't have any energy I look in the mirror and see me at 245 and growing even though I know it's less I know I should be thankful for every pound that this tool has made me lose but I just really wish I could have worked at it harder and I wish I had success stories like everybody else I really don't know if I would ever really be satisfiedwith my weight I see the skinny people and wish I could look that way. Oh well enough about me and my sad story good luck to all the readers and I really enjoy the post. shalonda 245/187

Shalonda. First (((((HUGS)))) to you, for recognizing that you are making your own mistakes. I know, from reading your post, that you are fully aware of what needs to change, in order to get your weight loss started again. I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack a few years ago, so I understand the pain of losing someone you love. It can be difficult to come to grips with your feelings. I went through the "why am I still here" routine and suffered with bouts of depression too. Although you seem to know what to do, you need help with motivation and you need help to get over the death of your sister. Somewhere near your home, you will find a funeral home. Every funeral home has resources available, to put you in touch with bereavement counselling or group bereavement sessions. I urge you to visit a bereavement counselling group. I know it will help you to come to terms with your loss and learn to value your own precious life. For yourself and your family, learn to be strong. Resist temptation. Put all your many blessings in front of your eyes, at all your temptation points. So, you can avoid the temptation with constant reminders of why you want to lose weight and live longer. Love yourself first and the world will love you next. Karen G

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY I DO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WRONG SO THAT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL WORST. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ENCOURAGING WORDS. IT'S WHAT I NEEDED ON A RAINY DAY LIKE TODAY. GOTTA GO AT WORK. THANK YOU SHALONDA

Shalonda, Take a deep breath. Count to ten. RELAX. You will win this journey. It may be a slower journey than others but you will come out on top. I also lost my sister in 2003. She was murdered by her husband and left behind 2 daughters ages 12 and 17. We are approaching trial this October and the stress levels are begining to rise. (It is a death penalty case) We all are here to support each other and help each one through this journey. Deana 252/147

DIANE THANKS FOR YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SISTER MY SISTER WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OKAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

Thank you Shalonda! We will make it through this wild journey. Deana

Shalonda, Don't beat yourself up! A lot of us are struggling with the same things. The surgery changes our stomaches but unfortunately it doesn't change our brains. Too bad they couldn't do brain surgery along with the WLS and turn off the part of our brain that makes us eat when we are stressed or bored, etc.. I struggle everyday to make the right food chioces. A lot of days I know that I didn't do well at all, but I just have to try to do better the next day. Keep the faith and just take it day by day! Write to any of us any time you need support! We're all in this together! Best of luck to you. 238/139 Goal 120

Shalonda- ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Like the others said you can't beat yourself up. You need to take it day by day. Set mini goals. One day make a goal of drinking at least 64oz. Next day make a goal of getting in all your protein, and so on and so on until you are on track and you WILL see results. I know a lot of people use the fitday.com to track food,fluid and excercise intake. You might want to give it a try. Also it may be easier to keep all temptation of the BAD FOODS out of your house, if it's not there we can't eat it. You have lost 58 lbs. that is great. Could you have lost that much w/o surgery? Stay positive, and if one day is bad you can turn it around the next. Take things one day at a time. We are all here for support to each other so come here whenever you need to vent or you need some or You take care, Kelly

First off. NEVER be a shamed. Secondly your not a failure. 50 pounds for being at 245 pounds is wonderful You have lost 50lbs but look at where your standing, 187lbs. I think that's wonderful. Your probably depressed over your move and the loss of your friend. Get out and meet some new people and ALWAYS come here and vent when ever you want. We are here for you. Hugs Donna 338/185 -153

Hi Shalonda, You are not alone! We are out here, and we care about you! My loss is similar to yours. My RNY was 12-20-04 wt. for surgery 243 /and my present wt. is 180 and I am 5ft 6 inches. So you see there are other slow losers out there. Please remember that you have lost a lot of weight. Now it gets harder to lose. What's that old saying,"When the going gets tough the tough get going." We need to exercise and be more vigilant about what we put in out mouth to get the last 30 lbs or so off! I know that if I keep my intake around 1000 calories I would lose more quickly. Please check out this free web site http://www.fitday.com Fitday has really helped me to log all food and be aware of everything that goes in my mouth! Keep at it! Good luck we are here to support you! Kristina 243/180