Am I the only one?

Boy do I feel bad, It seems as though I have fallen off the wagon, I have found myself eating everything that I was told I was not going to be able to eat, am I the only one??? It is sorta scary to think that after only 8 months I seem to be on a downward spiral. I have recently moved so I don't know of any meetings right know, I am 120+lbs down and would like to loose 70-80 more but I feel like I'm not gonna make it. Sometimes life seems to diffult to deal with and I feel like I am a failure. Has this happened to ayone else? If anyone has any words of wisdom on this subject it would be greatly appreciated I joined this site in Nov. 2004 and I never even recieved a angel when I had my surgery. Just someone that is reaching out for help. Thanks Katherine

Hi Katherine, I too have seemed to fall off the wagon. My biggest sin is crackers. I do limit myself to 6-8 a day with some cheese, but I can't leave them alone. I don't have any other bad habits, just the crackers, but they are like a monkey on my back. I just can't go to bed at night without my crackers. I have decided to go back to basics. I only have 10 pounds left to go and sure don't wanna ruin all this work because of some crackers! Wanna start over with me? I have a protein bar every morning for breakfast, and then I will do the shakes again! I gotta get back into the groove and get these last 10 off. I know life seems difficult (cause it is!), but we have to remember food is just fuel, not comfort. We need to find comfort in friends, family, and God. Feel free to email me anytime, I am happy to chat! Cheryl Hey! I never got an angel either!

I often think I have fallen off the wagon, too. Somedays it is just so hard, to stay focused. My weakness is chocolate chip cookies, a HUGE no-no for me. I have find that I have had to forbid my husband to bring them into the house, because if they are here I will eat them. But I am proud of myself because bread does not even have a part in my life anymore. So when I feel bad/diappointed, I think of all the great things I have accomplished: 1. Going to the amusement park with my daughter and being able to fit in the rides!! 2. Wearing Clothes that I wore in high school. 3. Going back to work after being at home for six years. 4. Being able to buy clothes at Wal-Mart 5. Pretty Underwear!!!! 6. Being able to meet new friends online and in the real world. Katherine, everyone that has had WLS, is brave, couragous and ready for a better life. You just have to take every day as it comes. We all have bad days, but please don't get down. You have come a long way!! Feel free to email me, too. I don't have an angel either. Michelle

Katherine, Honey don't you worry we all have those days, heck I have weeks like that. You are doing awesome and your weightloss so far is outstanding, be proud of yourself and what you've been able to acheive so far. We are all so proud of you and we are always here for you whenever you need us. This is a great board and there are some of the most wonderful people here. As for falling of that wagon, just pick yourself up and get back on. You know what you need to do and you can do it. Having the surgery was the biggest decision you had to make, now you need to decide that you are going to do whatever it takes for you to get to your goal. Please know that we are here for you. I live in an area that I can't get to meetings without driving for hours, so I turn to the internet and this site in particular for my support. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you anytime. Take care, Loni

I couldn't agree with you more! I am afraid that I'm turning into a 'grazer' with the food, and I wasn't like that before. I think that it must be pretty natural, because I read that this usually happens the closer you get to one year out, and especially after one year mark. But I guess we have to focus on the trend in what we are doing. Are you still not gaining back? If so, then you're doing ok! I think that it is natural to start losing less quickly, as you start to eat more naturally. We've been on a pretty strict diet for a long time, after all, and you can't live your life that way! People are still surprised to see me eating some things, but I point out that I can eat what I want, just not very much of it! And that is a do-able way to live your life ... enjoying food, but in control of food. I am realizing more than ever that I don't eat because I am hungry, since I never GET really hungry anymore. So if I'm eating for other reasons, the lack of hunger at least gives me the ability to have control that I didn't have before. I think that your loss so far is fantastic! And I'll bet that before you had the surgery, you never would have dreamed that you could lose so much in such little time! We have to be realistic in our expectations, and give it some time! ~~ Leslie RNY 12/17/04 238/150/138

Katherine, I think that we all battle the food demons! I was soooo strick with my diet for the first 6 months. I never ate anything that wasn't on my list the dietician gave me. Well, I have made up for that in the last 2 months. Not that I have went crazy and gorged myself, but I do find myself picking up a cracker or cookie here and there. The best strategy that I have found is not to have the sinful foods in your house at all. If it's not in the pantry, it can't be calling your name! This is hard for me because I have 2 little ones who like to eat all that "crunchy" stuff. But I never buy chips or candy anymore. Don't feel alone with this problem. I think we all go through this, we just don't like to admit it to others. Keep up the good work on the weight loss! You are doing terrific! Brenda 283/165/ ? -118

Hey there Katherine, You are not alone with the thing of fallen off the wagon. I am eating almonds all the time at work... It is like work or I should say, people at work, will I just work and eat in my office. I have lost about 75 pounds and want to lose 20 more before Christmas... So I think it is happening to all of us... Thanks for beening where I am... Brenda 242/168/140

Hi there Katherine! I think most of us can relate to what you're feeling. What you wrote reminded me of a motivational piece I wrote for a book I hope to someday publish for those of us who have had Weight Loss Surgery. I wrote it a while back and I just happened to re-read it a few days ago and it helped me regain my focus. Maybe it can help you too. I will share it here: "Don't confuse disappointment with disaster." Author unknown Just as we experience many joys as we travel down the road to better health, we also face some disappointments in our weight-loss journey. Perhaps we overeat and are disappointed in our behavior. Perhaps we get on the scale and are disappointed in our results. Perhaps we can't get motivated to exercise and we are disappointed in our lack of effort. To think we will live this new lifestyle without encountering some low points along the way is unrealistic. However, those unrealistic expectations are what caused us to gain the weight in the first place and they will cause many to quit before they reach their ultimate goal. We know we cannot walk the tightrope without falling off a time or two - yet we still demand that perfection of ourselves. We set ourselves up for failure because it's an easy way out. Don't confuse disappointment with disaster. Stop thinking every minor setback is a reason to quit. A gain is not a reason to quit. "Just a two-pound loss" this week is not reason to quit. Missing your mini-goal this week by 5 or .5 pounds is not reason to quit. Binging for an hour, a day, a week or a month is not reason to quit. These reasons are not disasters - but quitting because of these reasons is disastrous. How are you ever going to get healthier and fit by stopping? Following your weight-loss program half-way is better than not at all. And, never forget, you can always, ALWAYS get back on track as quick as you got off of it. Just stop what you are doing and replace negative behaviors with positive ones. Take control of yourself. When you are faced with disappointment just know that it will all work out in the end if you keep your mind focused and your body moving forward. Success will ultimately come if you just keep pushing. You have to want this more than anything else. When you are faced with disappointment, you first have to address it. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, it can be hurtful. Yes, it makes you feel like quitting sometimes. Don't bottle up your emotions or try to push them to the back of your mind in hopes you are hiding them. Feel them. Explore why you are disappointed. Talk it out with yourself and with anyone else you feel comfortable sharing with. Once you have brought your disappointment into the light, you will see it is not as intimidating as it was in the dark corners of your mind. You will see you CAN overcome it - it's not bigger than your desire to succeed. Yes, it is very real but it is not as disastrous as you imagined it to be. After you have addressed your feelings, then work toward a solution to overcome the disappointment. If you binged, figure out how to avoid another one. What triggered you? If you gained, figure out what might have caused it. If it is an unexplained gain, just strengthen yourself mentally to realize you need non-scale victories to show progress until the scale catches up with your good habits. Don't confuse disappointment with disaster. Be prepared for the bumps in the road and be flexible enough to deal with them. Take time for yourself - feel the disappointment and then move on to bigger and better things. Just remember, the only disaster would be if you gave up on something that holds so much promise of happiness and health for you. Mental exercise for the day: Identify some past disappointments you've had. Did you work through them and come out a better person, or did you throw in the towel and quit? How can you better deal with the disappointments that are sure to come in your weight-loss journey? Be sure to remember the good when dealing with the bad. Make a list of all the positives you have encountered in your journey. It will help keep it all in perspective. Have a focused day!

Well Katherine, I understand. I have recently discovered something that's been around forever, but that I never tried, and honestly I have fallen in love with it. It sounds stupid...but it's Mike&Ike Chewy Candy! I love the stupid stuff, and ate 1/2 a box yesterday before I realized what I was doing there... I mean, I generally go with the "eat what you want" policy, and generally I don't crave "unhealthy" things like that, but for some reason I just love those things, and so I've been taking some proactive steps to counteract that. For feeling like a failure, well, happens to me about once a month (I have been saying that alot here lately)...and it's perfectly normal when life gets overwhelming. I just try to remember that everything happens for a reason, and god/life/fate whatever you want to call it, wouldn't place any situation in front of us that we weren't strong enough to handle. Of course, I know that's easy to say and hard to believe when you feel like you fell in a well and can't see any light anywhere. But if anybody remembers nothing else about this life, remember that nothing last forever. After sunshine there is rain, and after the rain there is sunshine, and eventually no matter how hard things seem, they will get better for you. We just have to be strong and make it through *the moment*. Take it a day at a time, and it will get better. {{{{{{{Katherine}}}}}}} VB.