Your input on food

How do you all feel about food now? I hate food because I used to eat non stop when I worried about something. Once I had my surgery I loved it because I was never hungry but lately my appetite is coming back and I hate it I was able to belch and just throw back up what ever food did not agree with my pouch but that has passed and I'm not able to do that as easily as before. I'm kind of shamed to admit this but I have restored to putting my finger down my throat and throwing up that way. I'm scared of gaining my weight back so I think that I associate "Fullness" with being fat so when I get that full feeling in my pouch I have to rid myself of it. I have been reading where some that are two or three years out are starting to gain weight back and that's what I want to avoid. 338/190 -148

Donna, I am somewhat indifferent to food now. I find myself eating for fuel mostly. I am fortunate however because my hunger has not yet come back. Please be careful about developing substitute bad habits - like forcing yourself to throw up. It is so bad for you! You can damage your esphogus and teeth (although I don't know how much that hold true for us since we don't have the same stomach acids as somebody who didn't have the surgery). I know what you mean about wanting to avoid gaining weight. This is something I am very afraid of as well. In fact, this fear held me back from having the surgery for a long time. I think the best we can do is to make healthy food choices and exercise and remain diligent about not allowing the pounds to creep up on us. Take care, Mary 302/202/1??

We have dealt with obesity all our lifes that I think we are all scared of the dreaded word "OBESITY" Even at 190lbs I feel like so wonderful and it's nice to be able to fit into a nice fitting size large pants and look good in them and I don't want to lose that ever. That's a good question on the stomach acids. Donna 338/190 -148

I find myself experiencing "hunger", but I don't really believe it to be hunger. I believe it to be "all in my head". I combat the feeling by only surrounding myself with "good" food choices. If I feel hungry between scheduled meal times, I waterload. I can easily drink 3 litres of water at my desk, before and after lunch. If I choose to allow myself a "snack", it is something low calorie, protein based. Occassionally, I have Orville Reddenbacher Light Popcorn, but most often I have either blanched almonds or a Pria Protein bar. I have never been able to achieve the kind of success that I read others achieving and it does bother me. I worry that I won't ever reach goal. I have been the same weight now for 4 weeks. Knowing that long-term WLS's often do gain up to 15% of their initial weight loss back again, has me even more scared. I just haven't achieved the kind of success to deal with a 15% gain. I don't want to resort to developing food issues or an eating disorder. I pray that the magic numbers will move soon. Karen G 294 / 208 / ??? stuck

I'm sitting at 190 pounds for a while myself but I have noticed that it will start to move after a while as we are slowing down with the weight coming off. I question msyelf also if it's "REAL HUNGER or HEAD HUNGER" I think mine is more head hunger then real hunger so I'm going to try and push the water on myself and see if that helps as I know I don't get enough water on a daily bases. I just never want to get back up to 338lbs EVER AGAIN Donna 338/190 -148

You have done fantastic with your loss. I dream of that kind of success. I just know you will always be healthy. You have the right attitude. Keep up the good work. Karen G

Ahh Food=EVIL. I look at food and GOSH i want to eat everything...but I know I won't fini**** Mentally my head hasn't catched the fact that I can't eat the same. Just the other day I went into a chinese place...ordered what I used to order. Beef Chop Suey Lunch Combo... RC cola.. EGG ROLL and an extra order of Crab Rangoon. Ordinarily, preop i would've eaten all of this. Realistically I had two forkfuls of chop suey... a pinch of the inside of the egg roll and a piece of the crab rangoon... and NO POP. So I'm with ya...I'm battling this food demon. It's weird how i just went into that restaurant and ordered it..without really KNOWING what I had done...or the fact that i couldn't eat it all. My boyfriend just looked at me and shook his head because he knew I wasn't gonna eat the food. Of course I didn't hear him complaining later when he was scarffin' down that food... Anywho, my appetite is back and I'm fighting kung foo moves on these demons. I hope everyone can overcome this...if even that's possible.... CONGRATS to you all for the weight loss. Gracie 8# till Doc's Goal 13# till Personal Goal

My husband will lay the guilt on me. Why are you ordering a meal when you know you can't eat it all? Then if I don't order he'll say. Your not going to eat?? I have been eating off his plate lately. I find myself going through phases with my WLS. I'll go for a week of not wanting ANYTHING to eat, nothing sounds good or taste good and then I'll have a day or two of just eating non stop and when I see I'm eating to much then I force it back up, BAD FOOD I sit and think about my weight ALL the time since I had my WLS. I run thoughts through my head all day long and it drives me nuts. 1. What if I start to gain my weight back, then what are you going to do Donna. 2.That looks so good but I better not eat it or I'll gain weight back. Your eating all the WRONG FOODS DONNA, STOP IT!! 3. Your not getting in enough water, coffee is not healthy for you Donna but I keep drinking coffee all morning long, two pots. 4. your not working out enough Donna. 5. what if I'm a failure and start to gain my weight back. Everyone will talk and point at me. Now I'm driving myself nuts over keeping only one job instead of two. I keep telling myself I'll get lazy as I'm only working from 6am until 2pm instead of 6am until 8pm. I know I'm not alone but at times I think I'm alone and think I'm nuts Donna

Your reply sounded a lot like me. Food is still a real demon to me. When I let myself get especially hungry, I will eat all the wrong stuff: fast food, fried junk, etc. It feels good going down, but then I hate myself afterwards. I have another bad habit. When I start to feel full after a few bites, I start to guzzle liquids so that the food flushes out of my pouch and then I can load it up again. WHY DO I DO THIS??? If I am full, why do I force myself to eat more? It's just like the food tastes so good, I just want to eat more of it! ARGGGH! I never really knew what a mental battle this was for me. I have reached my goal weight, but fat lingers just in the background waiting to jump back on, and with my bad habits, I am worried sick about that happening. I want to see a therapist with food addiction background, but my insurance won't cover it. Thanks for venting and letting me vent. I am sure there are a lot of us in this boat.

I"m sorry your having to deal with old eating habits. Your missing the food that you used to be able to eat and once your full you still want more. Have your husband help be your support. My husband will tell me all the time. Your eating to fast, slow down. I get upset at times with him but I'm glad he reminds me of this. I don't drink to push my food down and in fact that will make me sick. I just go through phases of not wanting to eat and then suddenly I find myself eating or snacking at night. I'm teaching myself to *ONLY* eat when I'm hungry. We are raised from birth to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack in between all these meals so our brains are triggered to eat but when you think about it are we really hungry? If everyone waited until our stomachs sent us that hunger pain a lot of people would probably not be fat. If my husband wants to eat out then fine, I'll go along for the ride and company but don't mean I must eat. I wish you all the best luck in the world in getting this hunger and eating habit under control and remember you have all of us out here for support :=) Donna