I'm lost and don't know where to find me

I have been in a tail lately. I guess no one has noticed that I have not been posting lately but the reason is I seem to have lost myself and don't know where to find me. I have gotten to a point that I seem to walk around in a fog I'm very listless, I have no desire to go out anymore, especially if it is to go eat somewhere. I have gotten to where I am thinking what 's the use as they charge me to much for what I eat and there is really nothing that I really care about eating anyway. I went to what used to be my favorite steak house for dinner the other night and although the food was probably as good as ever I did not enjoy it at all. My wife said the other day that I am no fun anymore that I do not joke around and carry on like I used to, and that for the most part I sit around like I am in a trance or something with very little to say to anyone. I have noticed that I eat because I have to I drink because I have to and for the most part I am bored stiff with everything. I went and bought a new car to celebrate my weight loss thinking that that might give me some joy but it has not brought me any happiness. and as much as I have enjoyed my laptop, I find that I have become bored with it as well. I have not been losing any weight for the last 2 months, probably my own doings as I find myself getting into some of my bad habits again and not exercising. It seems that all I have time for is work anymore and it seem to take all my time to just try and concentrate enough just to complete the chores at hand and even then I find the weeks just seem to run into one another. Am I the only one that is feeling this way? Has anyone else gone through anything like this? Does anyone have any suggestions besides going to a shrink? Please send me some feedback. Your Loser Friend, Jim

*hugs* Jim! Sounds to me like you might be battling a little bit of depression. If you think of all the physical changes our body goes through after surgery, and then add on the psychological issues (good and bad) we face in our new lives, it's easy to imagine why we can get depressed. My advice is to contact your surgeon or even a counselor and tell them what you shared here. They can help get you back to your old fun self. This is a great time for you and you deserve to enjoy it to the fullest. Obviously you want to, or you wouldn't have undergone the surgery. Please keep posting and let us know how it goes. I am sure you're not the only one dealing with the blahs post-op. Lots of love, Melissa

P.S. I did read what you said about professional help. Please don't discount counselors. I sense you are resisting them since you said don't suggest a "shrink." Counselors have worked wonders in my life and many other people's lives. As I said - you underwent surgery because you wanted to reach your goals. That's a big decision. We all had to admit we couldn't do it on our own - so we chose surgery as our option. Look at the amazing results we're enjoying because we took that step! I see no difference here when it comes to getting past the blahs. Medication is a viable option, but even then - sometimes just talking it out with a counselor is all that is needed. You won't know though until you pursue it. You deserve the best - so please don't close your mind to an option that will help you. Ok I am done. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the very best and support you 100 percent! Hugs, Melissa

I hear a lot of people say they get depressed after WLS and it's normal. Our bodies are going through major changes. Maybe you should call your surgeon or go see your PCP and tell them what your going through. They might be able to help you through this rough time. Go to a WL group near your home and talk to others that can understand and relate to what your dealing with. I hated eating out also as I told my husband it's a waste of money for only two mouthfuls of food so my husband orders his plate and I eat some of his food and it works for us. Try it with your wife some night. You won't feel that your throwing your money away and you'll still enjoy an evening out with your wife. Does your wife like going for walks? Maybe you can walk together. I take my dogs for walks but I find myself dragging lately with walking so I told my husband last night that we both need to go for walks in the evenings. Of course I'm working two jobs right now but I'm giving one job up real soon, HURRAY If you don't want that new car I'll take it off your hands (only joking) Donna 338/190 -148

Jim- (((((hugs))))))) I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! I did notice you were'nt on the board latley but figured you were just busy. Do you feel depressed? It does sound like depression but God can deliver you from this strong hold. Let me pray for you right now. Lord, I come to you right now and thank you for Jim. I ask for peace in his heart,soul, and mind. I pray for happiness and blessings on him. Thank you Jesus, in your mighty ,holy name, We give you the glory for delivering Jim from this strong hold now . We speak peace over him. In Jesus name, Amen Please let us know how you are doing Kelly

Oh Jim, I am so sorry your feeling this way {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}. I have felt this way too, as many others have as well. Please contact your personal physician. I know that they can help you...I take an anti-depressant called Effexor XR 150mg. It has helped me so much. I quit taking it a while back, but found myself crying at nothing and wanting to be left alone. Needless to say, but I had to start taking it again, and in about 2 weeks, I was back to my old self. Please talk to someone who can help you. My heart breaks for you, I can relate so much to what your saying. Please let me know how your doing...your not alone and we all are here for you. Hang in there, Julie 550 pre surgery 459 surgery wt. 353 current wt.

{{{Jim}}} I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I know how you are feeling. I have been having the same feelings and thoughts lately and not sure why and it is driving me crazy. I try hard as I can to stay positive but some days are harder than others. Let me just say that I'm so sorry that I haven't kept up with posting on this board, I've allowed my down feelings to dictate what I'm doing each day and I for one need to stop it. Your not alone, I'm here for you. Oh my heaven eating out, I totally agree with you on this issue it's just not the same. I tell my husband also that it is a waste, most times I just order a salad and maybe take a few bits of Don's food, because it is just a waste to order me anything. Which really is good for us and really what we wanted. We are doing a great job with our weightloss and there is a reason for that, we can't eat that much. So keep you chin up dear friend, we will get through this. Maybe you need to get out and find a new hobby or activity to do. You know we are all changing so much that what we like to do might be changing also. Try something new, something you've always wanted to do you might surprise yourself (I should take my own advice). I've also slowed down considerably with my weightloss and I think that is making me feel really down. I'm trying to keep up with my water, protein, vitamins and exercise but I know in my heart that I'm not doing as well as I should, shame on me. Don't be to hard on yourself, just try to get yourself back on track. I know this is hard and we will get through this. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. Take care, Loni 237/147/115 32 lbs. to goal

Ok, Little Brother, You need to be good to yourself! You now need to be a USER and by that I mean. Lean on your sweet wife.... She's depended on you over the years. She'd like to be needed and men don't share their feelings enough. Lean on your faith... What ever you believe in.... It's there for you, and always has been. We are all praying for your health and faith. He will sustain you in your need. Lean on your Dr.s...... so many of us have felt depression since surgery. Who know's why, everything seems like its going our way. Maybe our brains are used to failure. Lean on your family here. We all care about you, when your sad so are we. ((((hugs)))) Judy

Jim, I second what has already been said. I think you need to give yourself some time to catch up with all the changes you are going through. We are going through big emotional and physical changes. I am a big proponent of exercise. It is so important for our long term success. It also helps mentally. I always feel better after I get to the gym. I'm may not be so happy when I am walking in the door; but I alway happy after I have done my workout. Take care of yourself, Mary 302/202/1??

I have been experiencing a similar kind of melancholy. My best friend moved 2000 miles away and it ha**** me hard. I find myself not enjoying life the way I used to. I look for non-food activities to keep me busy and to put fun into my life. Lately, it has been Karaoke and attending Bar Band shows or Concerts. Anything to get me out of the house and having fun. I tried all kinds of entertainment, but fell back on the Karaoke, Dart league and Euchre club...because they don't revolve around food. I was also in a billards league last winter and I took belly dancing lessons. There are all kinds of non-food things to do. Cribbage tournaments, snooker, billiards, darts, dancing, karaoke, singing or music lessons, service clubs (Lions, Optimists, Rotary, etc). If you join the Amerian Legion, you will have lots of opportunities to get involved in community events. Hope you find your niche. You are doing fantastic on your weight loss. I am a slow loser, but hanging in, waiting for my century to come. Take care, (((HUGS))) Karen G