I'm back!

Melissa
on 4/26/05 10:46 pm - Huntingtown, MD
Hi everyone. I haven't been around much lately because I have been having a really rough time with everything. I caught up on all the posts and it looks like you all are doing great. Congratulations!! Apparently it's true what they say about WLS and marriage. It makes a good marriage better and a bad one worse. Well, my marriage is falling apart. We were having trouble before and now it's just more than I can handle. Unfortunately I let it get to me and started eating really bad stuff. I'm one of those people who can eat anything and not get sick. And way too much. I wish I couldn't, but I can. So I fell back into old habits and spent 3 weeks eating. Please don't flame me. Luckily I didn't gain anything, but I didn't lose during that time either. Well, I have done a lot of thinking, and crying, and come to a decision. I am going to lose this weight in spite of hubby. I'm going to show him that he can't ruin me and I will succeed and show him what he is going to lose. I got back on the bandwagon last week and since have lost 5 more pounds. A total of 69 pounds now. Not great, but I'm happy about it. Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to share with you guys since nobody else seems to understand me now. Hopefully nobody else will have to go through what I am, but if you do I would be happy to talk to you. So, I'm back with you guys now and hopefully will stay here. Who knows, mabe somebody can find me a new guy in the future...lol. Keep up the good work guys. You all are so motivating and encouraging. Thank you! Melissa 254/185/140
robandshell
on 4/26/05 10:50 pm - Amo, IN
I wish I could reach over there and give you a big well deserved hug.. I am so sorry for you. I'm glad you bounced back though.. WTG!! I have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful husband before and after the surgery. I will remember you in my prayers and I'm sure God will have the person that is really meant for you... Who knows maybe your hubby will snap out of it and realize what he is losing.. Good luck and hang in there.. -Michelle
Susan Bertrand
on 4/26/05 10:53 pm - Jacksonville, FL
Hi Melissa, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles, but at the same time glad to hear that you have decided to make your tool work for you and get back with the program of making yourself healthier. Good Luck to you in whatever you decide to do with your marriage, try to stay strong, and atleast know there are people here who can support you in whatever decision you make. And if you ever need an ear, feel free to e-mail me. Susan Lap RNY 12-1-04 285-205-155 (-80)
Karen G
on 4/26/05 11:58 pm - Brampton, Canada
Sorry to hear about your marriage problems. I hope whatever action you choose, turns out for the best... for you to find happiness. You have done well with your weight loss. 69 pounds is a good loss. I hope you continue with your weight loss success. Regaining your health can only make you happier. ((((HUGS)))) Karen G 294 / 223 / ????
Loni*
on 4/27/05 1:03 am - TX
Melissa, I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but remember that you are worth the effort of taking care of yourself. You are doing great and you can make it through this. Believe me I know how hard it is for you going through a bad marriage, been there done that not going back again. You can pull yourself out of the bad habits and make it and you will be better and stronger in the end. I'm so glad that you are back and remember that we are all here for you and will be your support whenever you need us. Love you, Loni
Monica B.
on 4/27/05 1:51 am - Emery, SD
Oh Melissa, sorry about your problems. Is your DH upset with you losing weight? Doesn't he understand the health issues surrounding obesity? Doesn't he know that you will be healthier, happier, and more comfortable in your own skin? Is he afraid of you losing the weight? What are his fears? Is he trying to control you? Do you want the marriage to work out, if no why (explore yourself and the reasons), if yes why. We have discussed this problem at support group meetings. Many men are afraid that when their spouses lose weight that they will want another man. Men do not realize that for a morbidly obese women we are prisoners in our own bodies. Other men can scare us. We are not used to attend from other men. We are basicly sick of ourselves. I believe that many of us have always settled for whatever being MO. We never made "waves" in our lives and relationships. Our needs, wants, expectations have always come second. Now with the new person emerging from our fat prisons we are learning to express our needs, wants, and expectations. Some of these feeling are totally different from who we were just a short a time ago. Just as we researched our surgery and explored the good, bad, and ugly side of WLS, so too we must explore our inner being. This can be difficult. I am very fortunate that my DH supports me in my WLS journey. He was very afraid of the surgery when I first explored it in 2001. He has seen my through 9 operations and he remembered all the bad experience I had with surgery and anesthesia. But after a year dedicated to Weigh****chers, exercise and FAILURE again, he saw my struggle and changed his mind about this surgery. Each day we thank each other for our new gift, a healthier, happier, hornier, glad I am alive life. Communication is so critical. We talk about my progress, he goes to support group meetings with me. He was very surprised about marriage problems when it was brought up at a meeting. We have been together for 35 years. We went through some very difficult times together. We survived and are now flourishing. Years ago I planned to lose weight and leave him, hurt him I wanted. But now I am so in love with him. I am glad we worked out our bad times. I am glad we stuck together. I am glad and thankful that our lives are spent trying to please each other, be ourselves, and we are rushing into the future. I pray that you can help yourself and your DH see the good of this WLS journey. Monica
Melissa
on 4/27/05 5:55 am - Huntingtown, MD
Thanks for all the support and advice everyone. I don't know what I would do without you guys. You all are wonderful! Melissa
rron999
on 4/27/05 2:21 pm - Victorville, CA
Melissa,,hang inthere ..we are all here to support you..You tell that hubbie of yours to support you or else take a hike and move on..You are to good a person to be treated bad....sorry if I sound too mean. I just get so mad when spouses dont support WLS patients.dont worry...god bless you , and remember we are all here for you..
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