My first post

I am 41 years old. I am 275 lbs. I was never a heavy child. I grew up as the Cheer leader, Vice President of my classes all through High School. I was beautiful! Skinny at 110 lbs and 5'7" all of my life in the 80's I was the Dr. Pepper Girl in commercials. I really had life by the tail. Then I got devastating news in 1987 I was to have a hysterectomy due to cancer. They took just my uterus then 6 months later took my ovaries also. This put my body into a tail spin instead of me having life by the tail life had me by the tail and everything about my life changed in a split moment. I and my husband (captain of the football team and High School sweet heart) were getting a divorce. My body was changing with all the medicine I was taking I packed on the weight not to mention the depression of a crumbling marriage. I have three beautiful children two boys and a girl thank god I had them young or I wouldn't have any. I tried everything under the sun to lose the weight but at some point just resigned myself to being this new over weight person. My daughter still carries around pictures of me when I was a model and the Dr Pepper girl, I know they would love to see me like that again; I would love just to be healthy again and not lose my breath just walking up the stairs. I just had a stroke 2 weeks ago and I am afraid of dying with a bigger stroke or something else. I need to have this surgery very soon. One week after my stroke my Dr. referred me to the Obesity clinic Dr. Chin and in two days got authorization, I hope it is that fast to get the surgery approved. I am doing well after the stroke, still in physical therapy and waiting for my initial appt to see the PA for my first appt with the dr. Well I had my appointment with the PA and in two weeks I got my approval for surgery. I am excited and nervous I have my Dr Talk on 11-29-04 and pre op appointments after that. 11-29-04 Had Dr talk tonight it was okay I feel as if I have done this all before kind of like you go through all the meetings and things before the surgery and this all sounds the same met some great folks though. I met women that five of her family member has gone through the surgery and I really liked talking with her wealth of information there. 11-30-04 I had the first of my pre op labs and that was fun ouch!!! I gave so much blood I thought they were vampires. I have to go tomorrow for stress test that's going to be fun since I can walk on the treadmill due to my stroke they have to induce the stress using drugs. 11/31/04 I had the stress test today wow that was not a good feeling I really thought I was going to have a heart attack and so did my sixteen year old daughter who was horrified watching the heart monitor go crazy when they started the test. I guess my blood pressure and heart rate went off the chart. Wow glad that is over I would never recommend that test to any body. 12-12-04 It has been a rollercoaster of emotions I am excited to have the surgery but scared that this is the end... My surgery is scheduled for 12/28/04 and I can't believe that I am doing this I am thinking of ways to sabotage this and that is really bad I need to quit this stinking thinking and get positive for the future. It's just that I can't even imagine what the future holds for me now. What is it going to be like tin again? I ask this all the time I am kind of used to being the unnoticed girl who no one looks at and no one thinks that much about, I'm not sure how to be thin any more, get the attention or even want the attention okay I'm rambling but I'm nervous. 12-15-04 I bought new jimmies to take to the hospital because I didn't want to come home in regular clothes. It is almost here I get one more holiday that I can eat anything I want so I will make the most of it. Already planning the menu doesn't feel quite the same though because I feel guilty about the eating almost like I'm cheating. 12-25-04 Well I didn't go to Christmas dinner there were relatives there that had the flu and I didn't want to chance getting sick so I stayed home and cooked a little ham, potatoes, yams and green beans that was it no desert or any thing my kids came over to eat with me then went back to the party. That was good I really didn't want anything to stand in my way of having this surgery. 12-28-04 Wow today is the day I am leaving the house in just a few minutes and very nervous I already wrote goodbyes to all my kids and family (just in case) and left them with a family friend. I want to thank everyone who has helped me through this journey. I'll see you on the losing side. Bye for now 1-1-05 Happy New Year I made it! I'm really tired and hurt a little but not real bad mostly on my left side I guess that's where they did most of the work. The hospital was great very nice nurses and staff and they took care of all my needs. My daughter was in the holding area till they wheeled me in I guess after they gave me my happy shot I told them to take me to my car instead, I changed my mind. They didn't listen to me any way it gave the staff a good laugh. When I came out of surgery I was hooked to a morphine drip but didn't like to pu**** because it knocked me out. So every time I had a visitor they would push the darn thing just to get my goat. They thought it was funny. I woke up every two hrs the firs two days just to go potty. After that it was okay but they had to put me back in ICU because my heat rate was going to low. After day four I knew I wanted the heck out of there so on day five they let me go home YEA!!! I felt good but tired and had no nausea or pain to speak of. 1-11-05 Back to the ER today I am throwing up blood a lot of it. I am so scared I think I'm dying I called everyone to get opinions they told me to go to the nearest ER I don't want to I want to go to the Hospital that did my surgery they know all about me and these stupid people don't know me I don't want to go I feel like they will kill me if I go I am freaking out here!!! Better go I guess to the nearest ER I already have a half of a hospital basin filled with blood, still throwing up. 1-16-05 Just got out of the hospital had two blood transfusions and I am alive thank God. I really did have a scare they almost lost me twice. So I had an ulcer and was taking blood thinners due to my stroke so it almost killed me. 1st complication from the surgery I guess I wasn't eating enough and my stomach decided if I didn't feed it would eat my stomach and did. Wow tired need to rest got to go. 2-1-05 It's been a while since I journal but I haven't been feeling well not from the WLS but from the Ulcer and Blood loss. I have to inject myself with vitamins to get regulated. They still have me off from work on disability and that really sucks I have been off since Oct 15,04 3-20-05 I returned to work on 3-15-05 then had to take off again due to vomiting and dehydration they had to do a scope and found that I had a stricture and had to go in and stretch the opening of my pouch that was great complication # 2 so I'm out of work again and cant wait to return to work I need the money. 4-1-05 back to work and feeling okay it has been a long road and I feel pretty good. It's been thirteen weeks since WLS and I am down to 208 losses of 67 lbs. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. Haven't really been to any support meetings or anything because the one from my Dr. is too far and I don't know of any in this area. Just go on the web and read stories of others which help a lot.

Hi Tammy!! We had surgery the same day! I'm down 40 lbs. I'm very happy that I had the surgery. I know it saved my life. Well it sounds like you are doing well now. I think losing over 60 lbs is GREAT!!! You should be very proud of yourself. We all are different when it comes to the weight coming off. We have other medical conditions that effect our weight. Keep up the good work!!! Oh I wish I could drink a Diet Dr. Pepper today!! Blessings Tonya

Dr Pepper does sound good. But nothing tastes as good as thin feels.. I am better today but trying to find a support group close to me is very difficult. and trying to find out how much protien is in the meat and other foods I eat is hard. I see my Dr. on Thurs so maybe he can help too. Good luck in your journey to be heathy and thin.

First, let me say you are doing great. If you want some information on the protein and nutrient content of what you are consuming....try logging into www.fitday.com It is a free site for tracking your daily calorie / protein intake. Keep up the good work. Karen G 294 / 231 /???

Hi Tammy and welcome. You been through a lot but now it's time to start healing and living life once again Donna 338/240 -98

Dear Tammy, Keep up the good work!. I was once told a story by a woman at my support group meeting it goes a little like this, There was once a woman who had just found out she had cancer and had to have surgery. After surgery she had to be put back in the hospital because of complications. The womans family would visit her at the hospital and every time they would come into her room they would hear her humming a song and snapping her fingers. The family never thought anything of it. About a few years later the cancer had gotten worst and she was hospitalized again. Still she hummed and snapped her fingers. Finally one of her children asked her "with all that you go through you still manage to humm and snapp, how do you do it?. The woman turned to her daughter and said " No matter what you go through, never let life take your snap away!". At first I didn't know what that meant but I figured it out. Your snap can be any thing that keeps you going. No matter what we go through we cant give up on ourselves." We can never let life take our snap away!"

That was a good story. Donna 338/237 -101