I Feel Like a Failure

Hello December Losers I havent really posted on here much in the last 8 or so months. I am at wits end with myself. I started this journey at 334lbs some of you may remember. I was doing exceptionally well until November when I had to have hernia repair surgery that almost cost me my life, I literally died on the table and had to stay in ICU for some time. After that surgery I had a horrible break down and my marriage went south, so I dont know if thats when I started not really caring. I had reached 194lbs and was exstatic to be in onederland but sine I have actually gained Im now at 214lbs again and feel like a failure. I asked my surgeon back in December if it was possible that I had strecthed my stomach to the point of overeating again, but his response upset me and I have gone back to see him. Im lost in what steps should be taken now, Im so depressed about my life now I beleive Im turning to my comfort FOOD. Stuck in a rut and could use some advice on how to get back on the weightloss train before its too late. Please help me. Thanks Jamie 334/214/ god only knows

(((JAMIE))) 1st of all, don't think you are a failure sweetie because you are not at all... You've done wonderfully and it's not OVER... You still have the tool hon and it will be with you for the rest of your life... I highly doubt you have stretched your pouch... You are obviously going thru some very tough times right now and food has become your "best friend" again... I know how you feel there -- I've been having some issues as well with using food as my friend... But don't let it rule your life hon... Sometimes it's good to take a step back and realize how far you've come and that your journey is not over... Don't throw in the towel cuz you still got what it takes to get back on track hon... You just have to want it again... Perhaps a local support group may be in order if you need some face to face interaction with people who will be able to help on a more personal level; otherwise, you know your OH family is always here for you... Never forget that!!! As for how to get back on the weight loss train, start back with the basics again... Do what you did shortly after you had surgery and eat smaller quantities... It does in fact shrink down the size of the pouch again... Sometimes I have to do this to get back on track... Also make sure you are eating high protein foods - chicken, eggs, etc when it's time to eat food... Eat 3 times a day with 2 snacks in between - ( for snacks cheese always works good for me)... This of course is my docs protocol on how to eat post-op... Some eat as many as 6 small meals a day... I do the 3 and sometimes have 2 snacks in between if I feel hungry... If you eat a good protein, you will notice it does not take much to fill you and make you satisfied... Also make sure you are pushing water in between the times you are eating... Avoid caffeine at all costs - It makes me a crazy eater & I literally want to eat everything in site! I don't care for water all that well so I drink SF Koolaid sweetened with Splenda or decaff. iced tea... Still counts as fluid intake and it won't hurt ya at all... I hope this helps in some way Jamie... You're going thru a lot right now and sometimes having someone supportive to talk to can make a world of difference... Remember I'm here for ya if you need it... You can email me if you'd like to talk more... I'd be happy to help in any way I can... Please take care and don't give up... You are not a failure hon - no way, no how!! Chelle

Chelle Thank you so much for your kind word of encouragement. Ive felt rather alone through the last few months and your thoughts really made me feel better. I will try to keep my head up and use the methods you have suggested Thank you Jamie 334/212 down two pounds this week

Jamie, I am glad my words helped... I know we all feel in a low spot sometimes and we all need a pick me up... That's why I love OH!! Down 2 lbs!! Wooo hooooo!! You can do it girl... Just don't forget we're all here if you need us... Anytime... Chelle

Hello Jamie, I totally agree with Chelle. You are not a failure. You have to get back to basics and watch those evil carbs. You have to get in your protein and fluids. You can do it. Take care. Glad to see you posting. ((((hugs Jamie)))) Diana

Jamie Chelle has some great advice. Don't beat yourself up over the past, just start now to take charge of your future. The surgery gave you a tool, which you can continue to use for life. Just make a return to the basics, high protein, low carb and lots of water. The weight will melt off again in no time. Try to focus your depression on exercise, instead of food. Join a gym and punch a punching bag. Go for long walks. If you can replace some food with physical activity, the weight will come off faster. Many blessings. ((( HUGS ))) Karen G

Hi Jamie, It's good to see you posting. I also agree with Chelle... She gave some really good advice. Some I probably ought to be using myself. As far as the pouch stretching goes... I was worried that I had stretched mine out some too, cause it seems like at times I can eat way way too much, but when I was having so much tummy trouble over the last few months, and I was having so many xrays and other tests done, I watched carefully when they did the upper GI's. I was pleasently shocked to see my pouch was still little, like golfball size.... The little buggar holds more than a golfball, but it is still small like it should be. I'm sure yours probably is too... we just have to be careful and not put too much 'crap' food in it. Back to basics and you will be fine... And remember we're here for ya! Hugs, Susan

Jamie Big hugggggggggs! I'm so sorry for everything you are going through and I say Ditto to everyone's comments! YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You can still do this. We will be here for you all the way! Drink lots of water! or some type of SF fluid in between meals. It really does help in weight loss... The past 2 months I have been struggling too. Not for sure why. But I had gotton to 198 then went all the way up to 210 then was bouncing from 203-207 for 2 months then I really went back to basics and really pushed the water and I am back at 198 and working my way down! So I know you CAN do it. We just have to use our tool! Email me anytime! Please keep us updated! Kelly

Jamie, Unfortunately I don't have any words of encouragement for you. I just wanted to let you know I am going through the same thing. I hardly ever post here any more because I am so embarassed of how I am doing. Every one else is losing and I am gaining. I have gained back 20 pounds and I never even got to my goal weight. I can eat just like before surgery and and I can't seem to stop myself. I am so scared that in another few months I will be back where I started. My husband keeps telling me I am a total failure if I can't keep the weight off with WLS. I am so depressed and embarrassed about everything. Sorry I can't help you, but if you want someone to talk to, I know exactly what you are going through. Feel free to e-mail me. Melissa

Hi Melissa, I hope you dont mind me emailing you - i read some of your journal and wanted to tell you that I too feel bad reading other peoples post on how much they have lost - and after reading your post i wanted to know if we could be email support buddies, Although i am only 6 months out sometimes i beat myself up - i know that we are not to copare with each other becasue everyone is different but its hard not to - after readind everyone heres post about getting back to the basic i think i will take that advise to the heart - i want to thank everyone for giving me an insight to their daily living - SS-Jo 319/290/235?( last time i went to the dr) / 180