Feel like a failure?

Hey everyone.. Cant believe it has been 2 years plus since I was sitting here with so many questions, waiting for approval, going through all the testing to get this surgery going. I sit here today and reflect on the way I anticipated and the promises I made myself. I look how far I have come what I have accomplished. All that being said. I look at myself returning to my old ways and eating things I know I have no business eating.. Seeing those 5-10 pounds going up and down on that scale. Eating more than I should be able to eat. Wondering have I ruined myself will I have to go and have this surgery again in a few years.? I have done well dont get me wrong.. I have went from 310 pounds to 160-170 pounds.. From a size 28-30 to a 6-8. But I wonder can I screw this up? Does anyone else feel like they are sabatoging there self. I know that I dont have any self control and some days I do real good but the days I do bad I feel like I do real bad. Am I alone in this.. Anyone have any suggestions or feel like I do?

Honey, every time I eat a Dove Dark, or a handful of chips, I feel the same way. But, I still eat them. But, yesterday, I was watching an episode on Oprah and there was a woman from France who published the book, French Women Don't Get Fat and she said everyone could, and should, live by the three bite rule. When it comes to anything indulgent, just three very slow bites is all we should have. Take time to enjoy them. Don't gulp any food. Start each meal with a salad. And, enjoy every bite, savoring the flavor. So, That is what I am going to try to do. I know I can't stay away from chocolate, but I will just have three. Let them melt in my mouth, and savor each one. The same with other things. And, I will eat slower, and start with a salad. I can easily eat a whole Lean Cuisine meal and a salad and dessert with no problem. But isn't that less than I could eat? At one time, I could easily eat 2 or 3 Hungry Man dinners and a salad, at one sitting, and still have a dish of ice cream. So, I am better off now. I, too, see the same 10lbs go up and down, mostly up. But I try to keep it under 200. I know more exercise will help and I'm working on that part now that I'm feeling better. It is so hard, though, isn't it? We all know what you're feeling. But you are not a failure, as long as you realize that you have a problem and are aware of it. Denial is the failure. Acknowledgement is the success. Working on it is the reward. Nona

Nona, Hi there : I just thought of you and had a great Go to the Over 50 Forum. There is someone talking there about Fibromyalgia. I hope I spelled it right. If you can't find it I will send the link to the room Email to you. Take care Lorraine

Thank you so much!! I did go over and chat with a couple of girls. We passed on some ideas. It's a terrible disease and hurts so much that it can drive you out of your mind. Thank the drug companies for narcotics. Nona

Hi Nona, I take it that you also have the horrible disease Fibromyalgia! I have it as well. I just came off a 2 1/2 month flare up. It was a really bad flare up keeping me pretty much in bed except for doctor appts. Could you send that web site that you were talking about? Thanks, Nan

Kim, Hi there !!! Just remember ....you are not alone in this struggle. I am trying to maintain this weight loss also. I am up 5 lbs, down 5 pds. I try to keep this under control and think I have it under control My boyfriend knows I love white chocolate and he buys it for me. I am like Nona. I savor a few pieces in my mouth and enjoy. If I try to eat more I We are all human and remember that Ok? This wonderful tool has been given to us and we must know how to work with it. I think I will be working with tools until I die. You have done well, but don't feel like a failure. We all have our bad days and our good days. Remember You are not alone. You are loved by us. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to all of us!! Lorraine

Hi Kim Now is the time I have to work harder at maintaining my weight. The scale goes between 266 and 275 every few weeks. I have been at this weight for 14 months now after losing 185 lbs in the first year. I get 120 grams of protein every day and 120 oz of water also. From time to time I do indulge in something I shouldn't; I refuse to feel guilty about it because for me that is the start of a downward spiral. We are all human. Please view yourself as a success and understand that your weight will fluctuate. Be good to yourself. In may I will be going to Atlanta for a users conference. Can you recommend something's to do while I am there? I have been there before and hiked to the top of Stone Mountain. Darrol

Hey everyone.. Thanks for the post. Darrol Atlanta has the new Aquarium.. Though I havent had the opportunity to go there I cant wait to go see what everyone has been talking about.. If you like concerts Centennial Olympic Park always has stuff going on. http://www.centennialpark.com/ and for all Atlanta events go to http://www.atlanta.net/visitors/calendarevents.html Enjoy yourself. The South is B E A U T I F U L in the spring. Well Im a southern girl so I think the south is Beautiful all the time. Thanks.. Kim

Hi Kim I have felt this way for a long while. Slowly watching my sanity float away and watching the pounds start to creep up again. I know I should feel better about myself. I started this journey at 371 pounds and am now at 195. I could be less, I can admit that. I have though, been down to 185 and these extra 10 pounds I have put back on have made me terribly depressed. I know what I need to do, I really do. Its putting it all into action again. More water, protein and exercise. Less carbs, no grazing and complaing about things without acting on them. Life has been particularly stressful lately and I have just went back on the anti depressant to help with that. Its just trying to carve out enough "me" time. I even have been afraid to go to my surgeons office because the NP (that you have to see before you see the Dr) there seems to thrive on making others feel bad (and im not the only one of his patients that i have heard say that, so its not me) I, too, wonder most days what the heck have I done to myself, not only by allowing myself to have the surgery, but what I have allowed myself to become since the surgery. No, you are not alone, I feel like you do. Another down day for me, but I am hoping that if i slowly stick to what I need to do, that slowly day by day it will get better. I miss the me i was just 10 pounds ago. I want that confident woman back!!! I am going to get myself back on track slowly, as i know it took me a while to get these darn habits back, it will probably take me a while to get rid of them again. Keeping better records of my activities and intake will help also. Good luck and if you ever need to talk, pls feel free

Janice.. Thanks so much for your honesty.. The fact is that I know support groups would probably help me alot.. I have never had the opportunity to attend a meeting not even once. I wished I had a work out partner.. Someone to keep me on my toes.. I know if someone is expecting me to meet then I will be there.. It is ackward no matter how thin or heavy you are to start something like Aerobics. Im a size 8 and I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl. I cant imagine embarrassing myself alone. I would love to have a friend to look stupid with me!!! I have actually seen that I can do it.. Since I did the original post I have made myself drink water like Im in the desert. I dont eat anything after 6 and the whole week I have ate nothing but fruit or vegetables for dinner. Im back to my 165 range but I have noticed that my shape has changed. That waist line that used to look good has a little buldge... Back to the gym again today. A L O N E ! But im going.