World falling apart...

Hi People Well last Friday April and I lost the baby,on the same day april asked me to move out because she needed to be alone.I left and I am lost and hurting,she really killed me that day.She is acting as if we where strangers..I hope you are all well..............steve

Steve, ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) to you my friend. You mentioned that last Friday April lost the baby...I am so sorry to hear that. If I am not being too nosey was it her decision to move out after the loss of the baby? Did she decide this before her loss?Maybe she needed this time to be alone. Losing a child can be devestating. I lost a son so I know. I am a true believer in time healing all wounds. If things are meant to be ,they will mend back. I know I am talking out of my head but............" Been there done that" I believe in putting all things in Gods hands or whomever you believe in. Please stay strong and I will pray for everything to turn out the right way. ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) again and Lorraine

Hi Lorraine It was her idea for me to move out.She isnt answewring my calls and she is being very cold to me.I give up,thanks for caring................steve ps: she lost the baby last friday

Steve, Hi again. I do care even though we have never met. Us guys on this Message Board have shared it all. I can only try to give advice and hope it works looking at it through a womans eyes. I think if you step back and give her space she will come back if it is meant to be.You can tell me mind my own business, but I know you have vented to us and we are here for you. (((HUGS)))))))) again for you Steve. Lorraine

Oh, Steve, I am so sorry. You must be hurting so much, too. Please understand that right now, she doesn't see your pain. She is associating you with the loss, so seeing you makes it hurt more. She doesn't understand that it is your loss, too. Give her some time and some space. Just let her know that when she's ready, to call you. She has to heal. Losing a baby, to most women, is the worst that could ever happen. I know it is horrible for the father, too, but most women can't see past their own pain, in the beginning. Please know we are there for you. Just giver her some time and give yourself some time, too. It will get easier as time goes on. But it is going to hurt for a while. Be patient and try to go on with your daily life. We are here if you want to talk. Nona

Hi Steve..I want to also extend my deepest sadness for you. I know nothing any of us say really can touch the depressing moment you are in. I must say you are handling it better than I think I would. Try and be strong. I believe the ladies are correct. She is feeling a great loss and you are part of it. As hard as it may be give her space and if it supposed to heal it will. If not remember how strong you are and we are here for you. mark

Dear Steve, I am sorry it has taken so long for me to write. I have been praying and I just don't even have any idea what to say to you. I think, to me, I would want to know that you felt as devastated and empty and as sad as she is. Your baby, though it wasn't around for long, brought great joy and hope to your lives. April probably feels alone in her pain and may not know that you feel the same. One thing about great pain or great joy, people can relate to a degree, but only you are feeling the intensity. I wish I knew what to say or that something I did could help, but all I can do is pray. We all care for you here and I think about you and April a lot. Please message us and let us know if there is anything we can do. Allison

Steve. My thought would be to write April a note and let her know you feel a huge loss as well. I think the other advice is true. It is so painful to lose a child and she may need space but at the same time needs to know you are there. Take care and I am praying for you. Alice

It has been a couple days since your post......I hope your feeling okay! I agree with the other posters.....April is hurting and probably just needs to be alone for awhile.....The best thing you can do is let her know you are there if/when she needs you! I am sorry for your loss ((((((HUGS))))) Take Care of yourself Jesi

Stephen, I am deeply saddened by your loss and will pray that April and you find strength in each other to get through this painful experience. Just to give you insight as to what April might be feeling.... My husband and I lost our fist child too and it was very devastating. I think I took it much worse than him because I had become so attached in such little time. I felt that I did something wrong, that I was somehow not worthy of that baby, that God was punishing me for something. All those self-hating thoughts were going through my head and coming out in ways that were hurtful to myself and others around me. When all I really needed was time to heal and time mourn not just my loss, but my husbands too. At first I felt as though I was the only one going through it because I was the one carrying it, but realized my husband was just as devastated. When I realized this we were able to come together and support each other. This was 20 years ago, and just to let you know, It still hurts. But you and April will get through it. You have to find a way to get through to her that this is your loss too. She probably does not see it that way...yet. My prayers are with you Stephen. Diane