Talk about Depression

Ok, so here goes my confession..... My son turned "21" on the 26th. of Jan. He had allready been quite the drinker, so turning 21 gave him the opportunity to turn it up a notch. The whole week of his birthday and the week following I don't think a day went by that he did not go out and drink. I am in recovery, I have had almost 7 years of sobriety and take his drinking as a threat and have asked him, and asked him to stop coming home smelling like alcohol and if he was to drink to please spend the night at whatever party or house he was at. On Feb. 5 early am of the 6th at 2:35 in the morning I get a call from his hysterical girlfriend telling me he had just been in an accident. Now I was fully asleep when her call startled me awake and it is a call all parents dread. Thank God for cell phones. I asked his girlfriend if he had been drinking, she said he had. They were at a party but she had dropped him off at home ealier in the evening. He and his friend decided (drunk as they were) to get in his car and go back to the party. At the party a young (16yr. old) girl, who was quite drunk, asked my son for a ride home. Thinking he was sober enough, or just not thinking at all, he gave her a ride. Because of his age and lack of better judgement, he sped through the back winding residential area going at about 45mph he hit a parked Ram (big-assed) truck and pushed it 10 feet with his Honda prelude. He completely totalled his car up to the windshield. In shock he gets out of the car, get's the girl out (she is fine), calls his girlfriend on her cell phone who then called me. So the cops show up at the scene and take blood from my son, they search him and find 14 baggies of ecstacy pills. So he is charged with felony DUI, felony possession for sales, and felony transportation of a controlled substance. He is taken and treated at the hospital, then taken directly to jail. In spite of the fact I could have lost my son that night, he could have been responsible for the death of that girl. So many different scenarios could have played out that night, so many what if's. The truth is God was watching out for both of them. I bailed him out 4 days later at a cost of 5,000. that we don't have. Why? because he is a full time student and if he lost any of his classes he would lose insurance under my husband and he would then not be able to get the meds. he needs for his bi-polar disorder, basically I had no choice. I very much wanted to leave his butt in there. He has since been attending AA every night since Feb 11th, says he is done with his old lifestyle "completely". He will probably end up doing 8 mos. in jail, and be required to go to a drug and alcohol clinic. We don't know. This event has triggered so much pain, guilt, depression, and frustration for me I am just not in a good place. I have lost 10 lbs. because of the stress and am dizzy all the time. I feel like giving up and am reaching out for support and prayers. You'll excuse me if I have not felt like posting anything here in a long time, but at this point I am at the end of my rope. Thank you for letting my share this with you. Diane

(((((Diane))))) I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. Thank goodness that he and his passenger are okay. This could have been very tragic. I hope this is the wake-up call that your son needed and maybe something good can come from this sad situation. PLEASE remember to take care of yourself duing this difficult time. You won't be able to help him if you are sick and not feeling well. You and your son are in my prayers. Please keep us posted and let us know how your family is doing. Take care of yourself!! Kimberly

Kim I do hope it was a wake-up call for him. I know it was one for me as his parent. I need to be stronger and let him deal with the consequences. I will try to take better care of myself. Thank you for your prayers! Diane

You have my prayers. I am young and not a mother(yet) so I can't say I know what you are going through. I do know that addiction can be hereditary, and your son is old enough to make his own choices good or bad. Please go see a therapist to help you through this. I hope your son gets the help he needs to be healthy again. Sherry

Sherry, you are absolutely right about addiction being hereditary. I have an alcoholic father, brother, grandmother, and lots of aunts and cousins on both sides of the family. I've kept my children far fom them while growing up, but sadly I battled (for years) with alcoholism. Though I am sober now (7yrs) I still battle with the guilt that is a constant factor in my parenting skills. You are right about therapy too, I planned on calling this Monday. Thank you! Diane

Diane, I am so sorry that you have had to go thru this. I am a firm believer that God has spared your son for a reason. I pray that he has learned a lesson. You are right.....so much could have happened that didin't. Please take care of yourself. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Blessings, Ruthanna

I have told my son that numerous times, that God has spared him. Everything happens for a reason right? God has plans for everyone and in his time he will reveal. Thank you for your prayers! Diane

Diane - I am so sorry to hear of this. Your son and his passenger are lucky to be alive. I can't imagine how tough this is for you and want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. I wish your son all the luck in staying clean. Also, you need to take care of yourself. If you are dizzy please be sure you are getting enough liquids and proteins too. I know it's hard but you can't neglect yourself. Take care. Kim

Thank you Kim. Things just have to get better, I believe this and pray for it. I have began to take care of myself a little better...I started working out again to get rid of this damn depression. It's helping and my appetite is coming back. Thank you for your prayers! Diane

Oh Diane.. What a time you must be going through... Lots of Hugs and prayers are sent your way.. A silver lining?-- Your son at a tender age ha**** bottom, turning from his old life and beginning a new one with AA and it sounds like you are a loving and supporting Mom... He has the system he needs to get through this... Godspeed Many Blessings, Elaine