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Hi Diane. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice except to say please don't put up with his crap or jealousy. If he loved you when you were obese he will love you being normal weight. I think he is just acting insecure and attacking you is the easiest way to deal with those feelings. If he won't seek counseling with you then you go, maybe after a few sessions he will join you. Please don't let him get under skin - you have been through so much with being obese and losing this weight is not an easy task you do not need any added stress. You'll be in my thoughts and I hope things improve. Remember with every pound you have lost you have gained much more is self worth and self confidence - don't let anyone take that away from you.

Thank you Kim your absolutely right too, he should love me regardless of my size. When we met i weighed 180 lbs. he had no quams about it then. I think he just got too used to me being the depressed and ever so ready to please wife. Food was our common denominator and now like an earlier post says, we have to find something else in common. Thank you for you reply, Diane

You can always go the blunt path. Tell him straight out, "You hurt me and I don't like that" and walk away. Maybe doing that enough may make him see what he's doing to you. Talk with a counciler on your own. They can really help you deal with his negativity. Hugs, Nona

Dear Diane, How do you feel about your husband? Has he always been negative, or has it just started? The poem says for many years you cried, but I don't know if that is from how you felt about the weight, or from the way your husband treated you. Do you still like your husband? Sometimes I feel that they can hurt you so badly that you lose the will to try to make it work. I am trying to get an idea of how to pray for you. I am always grateful that the times that are hardest for me to pray, that there is someone else there that will pray for me. I know I will be thinking about you a lot and I will pray when you enter my mind. All of us here care about you and it makes me feel so sad thinking that someone as thoughtful and kind as you are is being hurt. BTW, Thank you for sharing your angel wisdom everyday. I always read them and think about them. Allison

Hi Allison, I am going to list your questions and answer them for you. >>>How do you feel about your husband? I love him with all my heart, but don't always like him. >>>Has he always been negative, or has it just started? Always been the most negative person I know. >>>The poem says for many years you cried, but I don't know if that is from how you felt about the weight, or from the way your husband treated you. I have cried for a number of many reasons (like most), but in reference to my poem I have cried for so many years about my weight and the major depression associated with my weight. >>>Do you still like your husband? Not at this point, but If he changed and showed me alot more respect I would. >>>I am trying to get an idea of how to pray for you. Pray for me to have strength, wisdom, and patience with him and myself. Most important ask the lord to touch our marriage with his loving/healing hands. Thank you so much for your kind words I truly am grateful to have such wonderful support with this. Diane

What a beautiful poem, and how true it is. It is hard for our husbands to continually here how great the wife's are. I know from experience that my husband usually doesn't tell me all the compliments, becaus i know he gets tired of people telling him. Keep up the good work you are surrounded by people with encouraging words. have a good day.

...and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by you all You have a good day as well

Diane, I know my response is late. I don't get to come online too much as work is extremely busy right now. The reality is that your husband doesn't want to deal with the attention and the boost in your self image that comes with your weight loss. I have been through what you are going through. Nothing is ever quite right. I bet he makes you feel like everything you do is just a little wrong... Don't put up with it. You have come so far in your quest for health and happiness do NOT let him stop you from reaching your end goal. It will not do you any good to become physically healthy only to turn around and hold on to the sadness that comes from being emotionally and mentally unhealthy. Life is too short to live for someone else. There are plenty of supporting loving men out there. Don't live for years hoping he will change and trying to show him the "light". Make yourself happy. That's just my two cents from the experiences I have been through. I wish you Love, Health and Happiness in whatever road you choose. Heidi