Please read...

This poem was inspired by negative and hurtful comments made to me by my Husband yesterday. Allthough I was able to endure the pain and humiliation his actons brought on. I don't know how much more I can take of it. I have come to the conclusion that fat and depressed is where he liked me best. Confident and healthy is a threat. I feel I can no longer accept his negative words and just feel so trapped. If you'd like to read the details of what happened go to my latest journal entry. After doing so let me know if I'm wrong in my thinking or just overly sensitive. Maybe I am fragile Never meant to be Living life through darkness Never being me Maybe now I'm stronger Always meant to see All that darkness glowing Is it time to set me free When you look upon me Through those negative eyes See what glows inside me For so many years I've cried Know now that I am stronger Stand here by my side Don't reject my evolvement Show me off with pride. Diane

Diane, You are doing a great job on your journey. Don't let that man sabotage you. Concentrate on "YOU" and only "You" Your problems seems to be before you had surgery and now he probably feels you will get rid of him. You are changing and maybe its time for a change for you.This is just a suggestion, I usually don't give opinions on marriages, but you did ask us to read it. Please be patient. You will think of what is best for you and your life ahead of you.Let him eat all the junk food he wants. He probably wants you back in your same rut..... Overweight and unhappy. Keep up your good work girl and keep posting those nice quotes for the day.....Peace be with you girl....Lorraine

Lorraine my dear, you are right and I am trying my best to not let him bring me down. I have obvious choices that need to be made. I am trying to be patient too, but it get's hard when I see life passing me by. Time for me to grab the brass ring ya' know? Love ya' Diane

Have you sat him down and told him how he makes you feel? Do you tell him, Hon, you just hurt my feelings with that comment, or do you retaliate? Just a couple of ideas that may or not help. You could suggest a marriage counciler(sp) or maybe your minister can help? Sounds to me like he's jealous and scared. Nona

Dearest Nona, When I try to sit down with him his core negative personality comes through time and again, it get's so tiresome. We literally go rounds without progress. He has always been so hard to talk to without the negativity and lately all his negative feelings come out in hurtfull comments towards me. He will not go to therapy, has made that very clear. He "has no time for that!" he does not see how un-happy I am. Thanks for your feed-back and support Diane

I read your journal, I would love to be a friend to you. I live in parker CO. I am just trying to figure out how to even get surgery done. And your journal is great! I'm sorry that you had a bad day the otherday. I have been told that I'm a great friend and I would love to gt to know you more. Please feel free to e mail me back at [email protected]

AAHHH, thats sooo sweet thank you so much for offering to be a friend to me, you don't know how much that made my day better I will e-mail you and look forward to talking to you. I wish you all the luck with your journey for wls. Thank you!! Diane

Diane, that's a beautiful poem. Has your husband read it? Do you go to a support group and/or do they have a family support group? My support group does -- they meet separately. I think it helps family to be able to voice thier feelings. I know, it's kind of hard for the guys but they need to know what they are feeling is shared by so many other spouses. You are in my prayers. Luvit~SunnyV@goal

Sunny~ He has been to one support group meeting with me since surgery and since he mostly worked on Saturdays when Kaiser has them, he was un-able to attend. Now he does not work weekends and that is a great idea. I will see if I can convince him to go to the next support group meeting, thanks for that reminder Thanks for the prayers too, Diane