Need some help from my Dec friends

Hey Everyone- I'm usually a lerker, posting now and again. But I need some HELP please. My co-workers are driving me crazy!!! I am almost 8 months out, been back to work since February and you'd think this would have gone away by now. People are afraid to ask me to join them for lunch or for me to eat with them. The same people I ate with pre-op avoid food with me all together. They apologize when they bring in donuts. Were they apologizing when I was eating them 135 lbs ago? When they apologize they always say something like "I'm sorry you can't have one" or "I looked at the other things they had, but wasn't sure if there was anything I could get you." And, I don't want to eat donuts, its not that I can't, I don't want to anymore! (probably get sick as a dog, but they don't need to know that!). My best friend works in a different dept and she said people are afraid of eating in front of me or asking me to go to lunch. What? Do they think I sit here and eat baby food all day. I was very private pre-op about my decision to have surgery. Then, when I was off, I was told people had heard here and there I was having WLS so I sent a "Merry Christmas" email to my co-workers and then all knew. If people ask me know how I'm losing, I just say "Alot of hard work" if I don't know them that well. For those that find out, they are very kind with compliments. There are just days I feel like I have some contagious disease and people don't want to be near me. This is the "stuff" no one could have explained to me before I had surgery. How do all of you handle stuff like this? Days like today I could either sit and cry or start screaming at the top of my lungs!! Thank you all for your support . I get so much inspiration from all of you and need to make it a point to post more often. Hope all of you are doing well and enjoying your summer! Take Care, Kathy 389/248/160

Hi Kathy, I think that you need to tell them that you are still a normal person and you still eat normal things, just not as much! They just don't know enough about it to understand. Thats all and are probably affraid of hurting your feelings by asking you to eat with them. Next time they are ready to go, just simply say, "I'm starved, can I go with?" Or "Where are we eating today?" They don't sound like they are trying to be hurtful, only being protective of your weightloss success by not tempting you. Sounds like you work with a great group to me! One luch out with them and they will see that you are normal, and things should smooth out again. Hope this helps! Tracy

This happened to me at first too, and initially I was upset about it - and then I figured they were probably just scared to ask me or upset me, so I made a point of getting up with my lunch and going to find where they were sitting and I would sit down and start chatting like there was nothing wrong, they were so relieved and now often ask me to join them. You could also just address the situation and send an email to those people you would like to lunch with and tell them you had heard they was scared etc. but that you are fine and although you can't eat what they are eating you miss the group interaction and could they please include you in future.

Sorry to hear of your situation....Have you thought of asking them out to lunch instead of waiting to be invited? I know it hurts to be left out, but it was your stomache that was reduced not your social life. I think those *****plied are dead on as well...good advise guys! Hope this helps too, Take care Di~

Thank you all for your kind advice. I think yesterday was one of those days that the emotions were running on high and a day that everything everyone said hurt me. I know I should be the one to initiate since they seem to feel uncomfortable. Its just so weird how differently we are treated just because we lost weight. Its strange how some people will ask questions and others ask them behind your back. Then, whats funny is some people are starting to come to me for tips on how to lose weight. Never thought I'd see that day come. Again, thank you all for your kind, honest advice. Our board is the BEST! Kathy