Lets Get Real For A Minute

I have been debating weather or not to post this question... Im sure there has got to be someone out there that feels the same way I do. I feel like Im going crazy.. I feel trapped.. I want to get out and have fun. Im married with children and I love them very much.. But there is a old friend inside me that says HEY IM BACK LETS HAVE SOME FUN! No one around me understand that Im NOT THE OLD PERSON anymore. I dont want to sit at home and watch tv... My idea of a date with my husband isnt going out to eat. I want to have fun. I want to DANCE.. I WANT TO SING. I want to do something.. Why is it when you start to look better and loose weight you are all the sudden guilty. "I ask my husband don't you trust me." His reply.. "yeah I trust you I just don't trust everyone else".. ARGHHHHHHHHH I hate that.. Im grown Im not a child. Im not looking to cheat.. I just feel like a bird in a cage that someone forgot to close the door on.. Im ready to bust out! I ask my husband to go and do things with me and he doesnt want to .. It is always I'm tired or I have to work tomorrow! Am I alone.. Is anyone out there ready to admit they feel the same way? So far I have lost 104 pounds Im down from a size 26 to a 14. I feel great.. People say I look great!.. But I'm struggling inside!

OH GIRL I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS THAT WAY! I HAVE LOST 133 POUNDS AND WENT FROM A 26 TO 18 AND MY HUSBAND HAS WENT CRAZY WITH JEALOUSLY AND I AM GOING NUTS, I AM NOT THE SAME FAT PERSON I WAS A SHORT 6 MONTHES AGO I AM NOW THAT PERSON THATWAS TRAPED IN SIDE. I FEEL LIKE A JACK IN THE BOX AND NOW THAT I HAVE BEEN LET OUT I AM NOT GOING BAC IN I HAVE A NEW LEASE ON LIFE AND NEW FRIENDS AND A GREAT JOB AND I AM WORRIED THAT I HAVE " OUT GROWEN MY HUSBAND" IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IT IS LIKE HE WANTS ME TO BE THAT FAT GIRL WHO ALWAYS STAYED AT HOME AND DID NOTHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT HIS JEALOUSLY AND WE HAVE STARTED A MARRIAGE COUNCLING I HOPE THIS WORKS. I AM GOING INTO IT WITH AN OPEN MIND. THANKS FOR POSTING WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING IT IS LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING AND YOU ARE GOING THOUGH IT TOO. THANKS HOPE

My husband looks for events and places to "show me off" . He's not a dancer but we do a lot of other things together. I'm down from a 20 to 4's. luvitsunnyv

If you haven't already, tell him exactly how you feel. Let him know you need to do things. Try joining in a church activity, or a new job. I work in construction, and am around guys all the time. My Joe is green eyed, but secure. He knows I won't do anything bad. I make sure he knows that. Suggest activities he might like, just to get him started. Car show, ball game, wrestling match, then add museums, dancing, etc. Just an idea. Nona

Kim,,, I on the other hand I am not married, Have been dating someone for the past 3 yrs. But he has situations of his own that Cannot let us be with each other... Having said that.. I did start to go out, and party...And Man o man.... All I have to say is be Carefull.... I have that little Devil on one shoulder and he ususally wins. Sometimes I feel like I can become out of control... I am loving all of the attention. Was in a womans 34 and now down to 24/22's I am not small by any means but The people who know me are shocked when they see me... I was just thinking to myself in the shower this morning that I need to get back on track with things and stop my nonsense... I just gotta keep thinking FOCUS FOCUS.... Maybe you and your hubby can plan an evening out Like at a local tavern on night, That way he has no excuse.. you already planned to get a sitter etc... If he says no all togeather your going to resent (sp) him for it and it will create new problems in your realtionship....Those are just my thoughts.....

See that is what I am scared of that old party girl comming back and making those AWEFUL decisions again.. My husband is stuck in a rut and I dont know how to pull him out.. I want to go out and have fun every once in awhile.. I hope it isnt over for us. I dont want ANOTHER divorce.

See that is what I am scared of that old party girl comming back and making those AWEFUL Wow! I am having the same feelings.I am 44 and I have lost 153 since dec 3 2003 and I dont want to watch tv,sit on the porch,play cards.I missed a lot if life at 565 lbs and now even though i'm 44(and single by the way)I want to do things,go places,meet new people,look up old friends and just enjoy life.No one understands this.I just moved from Mass to Maryland 2 months ago and i'm not sitting on my ass wasting any more years.i dont drink but hell if people want to drink that is ok with me,i'll drive.Thank you for this post it was great to see.............steve

Hello all, I think we are all feeling like the butterfly who came out of his/her caccoon right now. I too want to be a party girl, if not just for a while. I think we women have been in unattractive bodies for so long that we are craving the attention of other men. We want to be made to feel sexy and lusted after (for lack of a better term) by men other than our husbands. We are not neccesarily going to DO anything, we just want that admiration from other men. We need to feel attractive again, our husbands always thought we were sexy so we are not so sure about their opinion anymore, we need the opinion of others to validate our opinion of ourselves. We have not yet grown into our new bodies self image, we may still get a glimpse of that fat person in the mirror and the validation from others is what we actually need to help our self image switch from fat girl/boy to NEW girl/boy. We all know that society and the media tell us what is beautiful therefore, if others see us as beautiful too then we know we must be fitting into that image and that can bring around our NEW self image. I don't think that it is wrong or anything to be guilty for. We ARE new people. We feel younger, healthier and more beautiful. There is nothing wrong with wanting to kick up your heels and show it off a bit! NO GUILT GUYS!!!! I'm lucky enough to have a husband, who although is not a partier (anymore) and wants to sleep or watch TV rather than go out he allows me to do whatever I want because he is secure in his feelings for me and also in his trust in me. I am going clubbing with a man friend of ours on my birthday. I'm going to dress up like a hoochie and have a blast! AND on top of it all, I will not feel any guilt because I have a husband or children. What, do our lives have to cease when we get married and have kids??? Are we no longer allowed to be a woman? Only a wife or mother? We have to stick to the ancient stereotypical ideal of what a wife/mother should be? Picture yourself in a full skirted dress and apron, your hair perfectly coiffed underneath your kerchief keeping it in place as you gleefully clean the house to spotless perfection. You cook the perfect dinner for your husband while your children happily sit in thier rooms doing thier homework. As your husband enters the front door after a long hard day at the office, your hair is perfect, you are dressed to the 9's (including heels) and you all have a lovely candlit dinner together before retireing to our twin beds up stairs. (Circa 1950) HA! What a laugh! I THINK NOT!!! We all know that things are not like that anymore. Go out, have fun, LIVE in your new bodies! NO GUILT!!! Tracy P.S. Don't get the idea that I have been going out a lot, this night out on my birthday will be my first! But I am ALLOWED to if I want. SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!!

See I totally agree.. Like I told my husband.. Just because Im a wife and a mother doesnt mean that I have to quit being a person, an individual.. Some where under that 290 pounds I used to weigh I lost myself.. And my husband can't adapt with the idea that I have found me again, and Im bound and determined to not loose that girl again..Im only 29 years old.. And I do like it when men pay attention to me.. And it does make me feel sexy and beautiful.. And then I adore all of my attention on my husband. I feel like I treat him better with our sex life now cause of the attention I get. When you feel sexy maybe you act more sexy!.. Just cause my sex drive has gone through the roof doesnt mean Im getting from somewhere else. I told him he needs to leave that old man at home and take care of his BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! I love him and Im going to do whatever it takes to get him out of his rut... We are starting a diet for both of us.. I dont need it but It sounds better to him when I say we. And going to start playing tennis to get some weight off of him.. I wonder if he is jealous? Thanks for all of the post.. Im glad I'm not the only one. Kim

I just want to say THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!