UPDATE...I'm back... sort of

I wish I was here to follow up with good news.... Right now I guess it's just no news. I finally had to call my ex who I love and cant stand all at the same time to go with me to get my upper GI. I had called the hospital and told them my situation and because I was having a small bowel follow through they said it could take 3 hours or more and it just wouldn't be possible to have the kids there alone. I was going to have to reschedule. So out of desperation I called him. The test sucked and I had to drink two full cups of barium by the time it was done Well the results were.... NOTHING! I soo do not want to be one of those patients that have unexplainable pain and that the dr's begin to think are crazy So now I am waiting to get an appt. for a scope. It better show SOMETHING cause this is rediculous. I wish I could feel normal again. AND to make it worse, even though I can barely eat and throw up most of it... I haven't lost a pound in almost 2 weeks I hope to get better soon and be able to come back with something a little better to say. Thank you all for your support. All the responses when I post help remind me that I am not alone and that someone DOES understand. THANK YOU ALL Shawna 360/STILL260/190

I hear ya on the yucky tests that SHOW absolutely NOTHING wrong! I had 2 of those pre op... tube down the NOSE into stomach to test pressures/swallowing stuff EWWWW awful and the swallowing barium like stuff to coat my throat and look for pockets in my esophagus. NOTHING wrong with me....but I still have PROBLEMS swallowing PILLS....go figure. Nothing else they can do for me. Eventually something has to give-- either present itself or go away and get better. I hope it just goes away for you! AT least the EX could help out in your time of need. Sometimes we have to face the "past" and fortunately the bridge wasn't burned enough that he was willing to be there. Sounds like your body is in starvation MODE and holding on to everything to survive in this "drought" period. Are you able to drink protein shakes at least if you can't get down food???

Isn't it frustrating? It seems like the more they explore, the more aware I am that they are just "guessing" and that medicine isn't the exact science we sometimes expect. I hope taking pils gets better for you... I am glad to that my ex could help. I know he always will if I need it. The bridge will never burn from his side (he'd marry me today if I gave him the chance), but I wish I never had to ask him for anything. I also get a lot of judgement from friends and my grandma, who have decided for me how horrible he is, BUT sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. I don't know if I am in starvation mode or what, but it sounds like it could be . I never know what will sit and what wont. Sometimes one thing will do better some days and be impossible others. I get pain with everything it seems, but sometimes its tolerable sometimes I have to throw it up. I am trying to drink one EAS Advant Edge low carb shake a day, but sometimes I can only drink half before I get sick and sometimes I throw it up. It just depends. When I was in the ER they did my blood work and said all is ok. I am not dehydrated and my protien is good. I guess I'm getting enough stuff to stay down. Inbetween meals I feel fine and get hungry. It's like I forget how much pain I'm going to be in. I try to eat something and it starts all over. Then I'll do liquids and those will make me sick... it's just a yucky cycle with no rhyme or reason. Im looking forward to my scope (sadly) and hope they find an answer.....

Hi, Shawna! Glad to see you're back! I'm so sorry they didn't find anything definitive that would help you. I really hope the endoscopy will. It's a much closer look inside; there HAS to be some sort of blockage there. Scar tissue, maybe. They'll take it out right then and there if they find it. You grab that doctor by the collar and growl "I WANNA EAT AGAIN, DAMMIT!" About the not losing any weight part - I hear ya, sister. In February, when I was going through my 3 endoscopies and I was unable to eat much of anything for 4 weeks, I lost a grand total of **2** pounds for the entire MONTH. I WAS LIVID!!! But, that's my body's response - "This fat ain't goin' NOWHERE if you don't feed me, lady!" Truly heartbreaking - I lost an entire month's worth of loss over that whole episode, and it put me behind where I could be now. Se la vie! I know how badly you just want to get PAST this and be normal again. I know I started getting very depressed and was beginning to wonder if I was going to get "stuck" in that situation, being unable to eat forever. I can tell you, since my final endoscopy. I am able to eat nearly EVERYTHING comfortably. Hope you experience the same! Better days, Sweetie!! Donna

I am so sorry to hear you being so sick. Give yourself a big hug from Nona in PA. How about clear liquids? Jello? Or Nectar Protein shakes? That may get the loosing moving again and help keep your nutrition up. Just an idea. Just take it one day at a time and keep us posted. Nona

Hey Shawna Hope things turn around for ya soon ... Hugs to you ((( )))) Elaine

Shawna, I'm hoping that your scope shows something easily fixed. It's very aggrivating having SOMETHING wrong and just not knowing what exactly it is. As for the weight loss, you are still way above me! I am only at 77 pounds! Maybe your body just said, HEY, Let Tracy catch up! I wish you the best of luck, sweety! Tracy