FEELING A BIT EMBARASSED TO ASK THIS...

Hi there guys. I am really having a problem dealing with the new me. I keep thinking I am the old person before my surgery. When I look in the mirror I still see the overweight person. When will this stop? When will I see the new? I know I have posted this before but here is an example. I went for a massage. The girl that did it was wonderful. We talked about her wedding coming up in July. We talked about her honeymoon in Jamaica. I also envied her nice shape... NOW................HERE IS THE CATCH. She mentioned she had her physical and the DR said she was the perfect height and weight. She was 5ft 5 and half 140 lbs. It was not after she said that did I realize that I was only 20 pds more than her and she looked great. I did not see myself like that at all. I think some counseling will help me. I must get used to this new me. And .... when will this happen? Is anyone out there going through this or am I alone? I feel like crying. I feel like mourning the gal I was before. Maybe I was hiding behind mY weight and now I have nothing to hide behind..... Anyway guys it is 12 midnight and I am going to bed. I have decided to go upstate tomorrow to my best friend to talk with her. We have been friends for 30 yrs and if anyone knows me its her. All you guys have a good weekend. I have a new outfit to wear. I always wanted to wear overall jeans and I got a great pair to wear. LORRAINE

Hello Lorraine, Self image is a hard thing to get used to when it keeps changing, I have noticed. Before, I was fat, knew I was fat and could say (In my head) when someone walked past me that was about the same size, "that's what I look like". Now I have NO IDEA who to compare myself to. I do see a different person in the mirror most of the time, some days I do get a glimpse of that fat girl. I try to wear tighter fitting clothing so that I can notice it more. If I wear anything baggy, I just can't see anything but the fat girl. I certainly am not anywhere NEAR skinny now. I don't know that I will ever be able to see myself as skinny. I think part of the reason that I have such a hard time comparing myself to others about my (new) size, is that I see myself naked too, I know all of the flaws that weight loss can bring. HO BOY, do I know! When I see another size 18, I see firm and perky. When I see me, I see the opposite! I guess we all just will have to try to adjust, maybe when we STICK to one size for a year or two it will come. Have a great time with your friend! Tracy

Hi, Lorraine! You know, I STILL head straight to the size 3X to 5Xs when I go shopping! Can't seem to get myself out of the "plus-size mentality". Such a thrill, though, when I look at those size clothes and realize - that is no longer me! So, I guess our self- image will take some time. After all this IS happening so fast! We've had YEARS to assimilate into the "fat girl" image. Be gentle with yourself adopting the new girl that is you. You are going to have so much fun, you will hardly notice the shift until you look back! Hugs to you! Donna

Hi Donna!!! I am 5 months out and have lost 60 lbs. I, too am feeling the same way! Can you believe we are complaining about loosing weight! It is really in our heads! Self-image will take awhile as you said because we have become accustomed to going to the big lady clothes sections, getting the Lane Bryant catalogs and avoiding mirrors. I shopped with my 20 year old daughter this weekend. She was so funny, "Mom, THAT is too big!" So, she helped with choosing some clothes that fit and SHE thought looked good. I wouldn't have chosen or even considered some of them. But she was right! We are so used to wearing loose, baggy clothes. BUT! I got a real good look at myself in a big mirror. Ouch. I have some ugly baggy skin on my thighs. Since I am 51, I doubt I will be able to tighten up much of it. This is certainly an interesting journey. Thanks for listening. I got to thinking about getting back on the website after this weekend. Talking to my daughter about these concens was a reality check. She goes to school 300 miles from home so we don't see each other as much as we would like. She is thrilled with my weight loss and we talked about what an adjustment this is! How can a 20 year old with a perfect figure(thank you God!) relate?!? She is awesome. I hope we can keep in contact!!! Thank you again! Allisyn

dont be embarrassed You know what I am still guilty of.... I still walk like a big girl....you ladies know what I mean its how we walk to keep our big thighs from rubbing together and starting a fire, now that was a little embarassing to tell

Hang in there, Lorraine! I am sure you will start to love yourself more once you start hearing how great you look from your family and friends. I have been seeing the "old me" everytime I look in the mirror and I only recently started to give away the size 20's. I was wearing them with safety pins because in my head I believed that it was the only size I should be in, you know? I have since then rewarded myself with some brand new size 14's and it feels fantastic. I think you should go back to your psychotherapist who helped you get approved for the operation. Maybe he/she can help you work through the negative see how postively wonderful you are and how great you should feel about yourself. Be well- Doreen