QOD 5/10/04

I will try my hand at this-- Do you think your life would be different if you had not been overweight for all or some of it? What do you think those differences would be? Spouse, kids, jobs, education, hobbies etc....

Hi Shannon Thats a tough question. Lots of things would have been different. It's just to hard to speculate all of the changes. I'll be think on this one most of the day!

I know for a fact my spouse would be different. I met sooo many "wonderful" men that the only think keeping us from having a more serious relationship was my being overweight....but I sort of used it to protect myself because I wanted to know if they loved ME (all of me and my faults) and not just be with me b/c I was thin/attractive. I may have actually gotten married earlier and had children already...my goal was to be married at 25 and have my first kid at 30 (so right about now). I wonder if I might have had different job opportunities if I had been normal sized...but I can't complain too much about that-- I have had excellent opportunities and great paying jobs. I probably would have been involved in more social activities if I had been smaller. I was always way self conscious at bars/clubs etc...and it got to were I wouldn't dance...and I love to dance...but who wants to watch the fat girl dance?? I didn't want anyone making fun of me. I spent tons of $ on clothes so I was in style/fashionable and wasn't in sloppy looking outfits and took pride in my hair/makeup (actually I am very low maintenance on the hair/makeup but always made sure I was well groomed). The fatter I got the more it became about just being comfortable in my clothes. When I was in high school I would go at least 2 weeks without repeating the same outfit.... You can't really go casual when you are fat and look good....but you can be skinny on throw on sweats, cute tshirt and hat and look good. Fat just looks sloppy. I was at Walmart last night around MIDNIGHT....hey had to watch Survivor first! But it was amazing comparing the way folks looked based on the different body sizes. AND of course now I am starting to want to tell folks....GO have this surgery! I don't....but there are quite a few who I want to tell them that they don't have to live like this anymore...there is an answer. I work with a lady who is soo bad that she can't even walk very far without taking a rest break--to get over to the elevator. I find it very sad. The quality of life is sooo diminished. I am just now starting to feel somewhat normal at -58 lbs. I don't feel like an uncomfortable blob. I wore shorts to Walmart last night and didn't have to pull them out of my crotch with every other step! (size 18). I still have a good 52 lbs to go maybe 62 even but I already feel sooo much better about myself.

and apparently I forgot how to spell over the weekend... Wanted to add that in spending all that money on full priced clothing probably and dining out/buying food didn't help my financial status any and until my hubby came around I was in serious debt/bad credit. IF I had not been sooo depressed about being overweight I may have done better with my $ and actually had some decent savings and been able to have made different choices (maybe bought a home on my own and had more retirement $).

Hi there Shannon, This is a great question. I think my life would have been alot different. Here I go with the COULD OF AND SHOULD HAVE...... First.... I would have continued in nursing school. The nueropathy in my feet was so bad from my diabetes that standing on my feet was almost impossible. I also know that there lots of sports I would have done if this condition was not there. When your feet bother you everything does. I also think.... ...that I would have been more social especially in the Men Department and gone out more instead of . I probably would have remarried again... anyway this is could have been better for me if I had had more self-esteem. I would have done more walking on the boardwalk which I enjoy alot... Well its not too late... I feel wonderful now and I will start to enjoy life differently..... .......LORRAINE p.s. AGAIN GOOD QUESTION. HAVE A GOOD DAY

I suppose everything could have been much different......If I were thinner I might have gotten married to someone else.....I might not have had to party so hardy to feel good, I might have finished college, how knows....But one thing I know for sure is that I wouldn't want to change a thing now......Yeah I was miserable, but I have a wonderful husband, three beautiful girls, and a good life......I wouldn't give up any of it to go back and be skinny and risk not having what I have now!!! I am getting healthy now and loosing the weight thanks to surgery. I am so loooking forward to enjoying (already am) my familt and life~that I wasn't enjoying at almost 300 pounds......I have energy now and enjoy playing with my kids.....I want to be desirable again for my hubby....My whole life is changing and I love it......I was overweight for a long time and will have to battle with it for the rest of my life.....but on top of it all ~ I feel blessed at everything in my life!!! Have a great day Jesi

Do you think your life would be different if you had not been overweight for all or some of it? What do you think those differences would be? Spouse, kids, jobs, education, hobbies etc.... I know my life would of been completly different.I quit school, drank too much, wasted most of my life because I didn't care if I lived or died.Now at 44 I have lost 127lbs and I am going to school to become a Paramedic in the fall,I am moving the clan to Maryland in June and I thought 44 is to late to start over again but it's not.I havn't had a drink in over 14 years and loosing this weight is a God send. steve

Would my life be different? I'm almost positive it would be. I met my husband when we were 21 yrs old and we didn't get married until we were 25. I think there would have been more dates...more going out with friends before I met him. It seem like I was the only "fat" one in the bunch of my friends so I felt so uncomfortable when we hit the town. Like you...I love to dance and I just wouldn't back then. I would definitely have played more sports. I really enjoy the feeling I get now...when I am finished exercising--I don't want to do it but after its done I get a high and I am really proud of myself!! My husband and kids are wonderful and I love them very much and I can finally spend the quality time with them that I have always wanted to. Its actually fun playing tag with them or beating my hubby in tennis!! What a rush and so I guess it turns out that I am very happy in my life (even if I had to lose 75 pounds to realize it!) ~Rachel

Hi This is a great.... and tough question. Of course we never know what could have been. It only takes a second to change a lifetime, but I sure don't mind speculating. There is one thing that I know would be different that I am GLAD is not. If I had never been overweight, I would not have an appreciation, one for what it is like to go through your days obese and two, for what a difference it can make in my life to not carry that burden anymore. I think I would be amongst the majority of "normal" weighted people who just take it for granted everyday and think that fat people should just stop eating. I like it better where I am. I do not know where I would be in my social and personal life. I could see different levels of self esteem leading me in opposite directions. I could have sought out a stable secure man and been married to him with a good job and a house in suburbia.... or I could be twirling around a pole in a g-string at Shotgun Willie's spending my money on 6 inch stilettos... HAHA Who knows? I think I may have been more active and participated in more group sports and social events that didn't inlude an alcoholic prelude for me to feel some confidence. I think I would also be a clothes *****!!! hehe that will probably still happen by next summer I don't think I would change a thing. I know that I wouldn't be the same person had I not experienced life as fat girl. I like what I have learned and where I am today. Shawna 360/269/190

Shawna, you're gonna get me in trouble! I'm supposed to be answering the phones here, and started laughing so hard about Shotgun Willie's that I couldn't talk! I know that I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't gone through my morbidly obese period. It taught me a lot about compassion and looking beyond surface appearances. I like myself a lot more for having learned these things. On the other hand, I might have more money in the bank if it weren't for the medical problems and need to keep wardrobes in sizes: Fat, Fatter and OH MY GOD! I pray that I can remember the things I learned through this process and not turn into a grumpy, judgemental thin person. Deb