Old but needed to be posted again.. Just listen
LISTEN TO THE LIFE OF THE MORBIDLY OBESE
Listen to the embarrassment we encounter in our life every day. Teasing, ridicule, name-calling, stares and looks of disgust. People we meet that give us a far wider berth than what we need when passing us on the street, in the hall, in life in general.
Listen to our apprehension as we expertly eye the chair or turnstile. Will we break it, or will we fit. Will we ever fit into life, as "normal" people know it?
Listen to our cries of anguish as we try to walk and perform the simple activities of daily living on joints screaming in pain from incredible burden they are bearing.
Listen to the pain of our utter humiliation when ridiculed by a doctor for "allowing" ourselves to get so fat. Neglecting our health as we realize even the doctors office is not a "safe" place. Hey doctor, didn't you take an oath to help?
Listen to our hopelessness after being turned down over and over for a job because we don't "match the image" of the person they envision for this position.
Listen to our guilt. Because of our size, we've cheated those we love out of the mother, wife, friend that we feel we should've been. Our embarrassment has now become theirs as well.
Listen to our fear for what life holds if we don't have this surgery. We try to ignore it, to stuff it down, but when we are brutally honest with ourselves, realize an early death is an almost certainty.
Listen to our indecision as we do extensive research, trying to outweigh the risk of complications (up to and including death) versus the chance of a new life.
Listen as we then second-guess our decision to have surgery. As we ask ourselves, "Should I try just one more diet?"...And tell ourselves, "If I only had more willpower."
Listen to us as we meet with the surgeon with our five page, single-spaced, list of questions in hand. Burned by the medical profession in the past, can I really trust this person who looks at me with compassion and caring as he assures me I'm a "good candidate" and he can help? Please God, I want to believe him, help me to trust him.
Listen to our feelings of helplessness as we place our future in the hands of an insurance company. Aware that with a simple denial letter, all the work we have done to this point, may be pointless. This surgery is not without cost, both mentally and monetary.
Listen to our relief as we open the long awaited "approval letter" or obtain financing to make this dream a reality.
Listen to us as we grasp for a chance at improved health, of moving with ease and just living life as a "normal" person.
Listen to our hope of living long enough to see our children grow up, get married, play with grandchildren and grow old alongside our mate.
Listen to our fear as we roll into the surgical suite. The sights, the smells, the needles, the faceless people behind the masks. Do you care? Do you understand, or will you too make cracks about my weight once I'm asleep? My life is now in your hands. Please take care of me. I have a brand new life ahead of me, and so much to live for.
Listen to the sigh of relief as we wake up in pain. Stand up, walk a few steps, cough and deep breathe. Sure nurse, whatever you say, I can handle it, because I'm alive!
Listen to our happiness as the weight starts to drop off, realizing this is for real this time. We are actually on the loosing side.
Listen as the body we once knew so well, now betrays us with nausea and vomiting when we attempt to eat.
Listen to our frustration as we attempt to do something as simple as drinking a glass of water.
Listen to our panic at the first plateau or weight gain. I knew it; I'm going to fail once again.
Listen to us as we let out our breath as we watch the numbers on the scale move down once again. Plateau over. Maybe I will make it after all.
Listen to our efforts to move as we slowly and painfully attempt to exercise in a body that is still morbidly obese.
Listen to our confusion as our emotions wreck havoc with us. Why am I so mean and snapping at the ones I love? I don't like this person that has taken over my emotions.
Listen to our sense of accomplishment the first time we walk a mile. It equals the high of any runner completing their first marathon.
Listen to our depression when we can no longer soothe our emotions with food.
Listen to our tears as we mourn the loss of that brief but satisfying sensation of satiation we once obtained from the "comfort foods" we can no longer have.
Listen to our obsession surrounding the scale, vitamins, protein drinks as we attempt not to fail "this time".
Listen to our sense of satisfaction as we pass up that calorie laden, high carbohydrate treat as we smile and tell ourselves, "I just might make it this time."
Listen to our elation as we reach that "century mark" that once seemed so out of reach but now is a reality.
Listen to our determination to reach goals. Moving the weight on the scale down another notch, reaching a new "century" of numbers, wearing the dream outfit and attaining our "goal" weight.
Listen to the gratefulness in our hearts as we thank our surgeon for their compassion and understanding, for the chance to live again.
Listen to us as we come to the realization that reaching "goal" wasn't the most important thing in life. It was the lessons we learned, the friends we made and the sense of accomplishment we gained along the way.
LISTEN, don't talk, don't give advice, don't judge, just listen. And then, maybe...just maybe...you will start to understand the life of a morbidly obese person.
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