Excited and scared.. approved and I have a date!!
Hello everyone,
I am relatively new here and have only posted a couple of times. I got 'the call' today telling me that I was approved (Blue Shield HMO in less than a week!!) and my surgery has been set for Nov. 5!! I'm so excited, but at the same time I have been having 2nd and even 3rd thoughts about it. I know this is the best thing that I can do for me and the only chance I have of ever being a 'normal' weight. The dilemma is that I have already lost 40 lbs in 3 months pre-op and everyone keeps telling me to just keep doing what im doing.... that surgery is too extreme. My goal weight is 150lbs.... only 82 lbs to go! I even lost a very serious boyfriend over it. He supported me at first, but then decided it was all too much for him to handle, and that it was uneccesary. I wouldn't choose him over the surgery, so he ended the relationship. I also read last week about a patient that passed away from a blood clot 3 weeks post op. Then I made the mistake of going to the memorial page and reading about others who has passed.. not all from WLS, but many were. This really has me scared. I am a single mom with 2 kids and I can't stand the thought of something bad happening. I know there is always risk with any surgery... I'm a veterinary technician... and I put animals under anesthesia every day without a worry or a second thought.... I don't know why I'm so worried about this. I know odds are way in my favor of all being ok... but i just can't stop thinking about that one little chance. Is this intuition or just plain normal nerves??? Please somebody.... ease my mind!!
I Thanks!!
Debbi
Im so sorry that your partner left you, but I told my boyfriend that if you want me to feel better about myself I need to do this for me and not anyone else. You never know maybe he just needs to think about it on his own and will come to realize that this is a good thing and not uneccesary.
Keep your head up you will be okay and figure out what it is you want done! All I can do is tell you how I dealt withmy emotions.
Good Luck and feel free to ask questions.
Kelly
MY ANGEL IS JEN.B
Hi Kelly...
Thank you for the encouraging words. I feel the same way as you do.... I have to do this if I'm going to be a positive influence on my kids. They are both overweight too.... but are learning to eat better now because of me. We don't do much in the way of physical activities because I am just too depressed or physically just don't feel good all the time... something always hurts. But I am keeping a positive attitude now... no more negative thinking!! Only good will come from this surgery and I'm ready for my life to change. As for the bf.. he is gone... he won't even speak to me... he is ashamed of his selfishness and would rather just pretend the last six months never happened. We never even had one single fight... he just never told me how he was really feeling and I thought all was just peachy. My motivation to have this surgery so fast was to move to Arizona to be with him by Christmas. We were looking to buy a house... to be married possibly by June. I had no doubts about wanting to be with him forever. I was shocked when he sent me an email saying he couldn't deal with my surgery and that I had too much going on in my life that he didn't know how to deal with. Somewhere along the line I think his mother conviced him that I did not 'need' this surgery.. she is all of 122 lbs at her fattest!.. How the hell would she know??? I think she also put the fear in him that I would leave him when I got skinny because he is a big guy and would never even consider having this done. I talked to my Dr. about it and she told me that the divorce rate after WLS is very high. Everything changes she said... so maybe it is for the best... It still really hurts.. but I know there is someone out there who will want to share my new life and my new body with me!! And I can't wait to have skinny sex!!! (OMG... did I just say that!!)
Anyway... best of luck to you in your upcoming surgery and your journey to your goal... please keep in touch... and add me as a friend... I'm just really starting to talk to people here and I feel soo much better.. this is a great place to come for comfort, support, and just to vent every once in awhile! Take Care,
Debbi
I will totally keep in touch with you. it is nice to talk to people who are going throughthe same thing as you are. Then youcan totally relate to them.
I am scared that things may change between Lorne(bf)and me but Im confident things will jsut get WAY better from here.
talk soon girl!
Kelly
It's about time someone said something about "skinny sex"! My weight has had a major impact on my marriage. In fact, my husband and I nearly split up over it a few years ago. Our relationship is solid again, minus sex. He's totally turned off by obesity....interestingly, this was a major issue in his first marriage too. His interest has been affected by his meds, and my weight leaves him uninterested in doing anything about it. We've reached a peaceful agreement about it...but, wow, I never thought I'd be dealing with this sort of dynamic in a relationship! It's taken me a long time to let go of my resentment, anger and hurt. Now I look forward to skinny sex! SG
This is the 1st time I have posted anything so we are both new. And my surgery date is for 11-5-08 too!! I am feeling the exact same way as you so I think it is just plain nerves. I have a wonderful husband and 4 great kids (boys 14, 10, 8 and girl 2) so I am afraid that if something happens to me what would they do. My dad passed away in June and my mom is so scared that she will lose me too. But if I stay the weight I am then I'm missing out on so much. I can't run and play with my kids for very long. I have very low self-esteem and am extremely grouchy.
I am dying to enjoy my life and all that it haves to offer!!!! I know that I have wasted to many years stuck in this body! There are risks with anything but let's look towards the positive instead of what could happen! We need to be around for our children and grandchildren and for some of us WLS is the only thing that will help.
Good Luck to you and I am very excited for November 5th for both of us!
CONGRATULATIONS!!
This is great - I too am having surgery on the 5th of November.
I agree with the 2nd and 3rd thoughts - I am nervous scared and anxious but do know that this is the best thing for me.
My husband is quite supportive and will be with me when I travel the 4.5 hours to Utica for the RNY.
Hope all goes easy (relatively) for all of us in November.
33 days to RNY
Sheri
Nov 5, 2008
16 pounds lost pre surgery
Debbi & Sheri,
Can I put you on my friends list?? I could use all the support I can get and I think its very exciting that we are all having surgery the same day!!
I hope you both have a great day! I am off to my first of 2 football games today!! At least for one their season is done. Thank goodness!!!
Talk to u later,
Robyn
Take Care,
Debbi
