How to deal w/ negitive comments from family?

I am shy but I can and do get fired up at times. I have change my appearance like my hairstyle is shorter, colored contact are blue instead of my brown eyes and with all the exercise I have been doing outside I have a nice tan on my face and arms. The best change is I feel good about my self, my kids and husband is happy with the changes. My brother-in-law decide to state in an unpleasant tone of voice everything he though I had changed like my hair is shorter, my contacts lens look fake, I have been tanning and I had my teeth whiten. I stood there quite in shock for a few minutes and felt uncomfortable in my different ways. I finally said I haven't tanned or whiten my teeth in a calm voice. He urged with me stating yes you did, you can tell you did. My sister-in-law who is my husband's sister finally said so what else did she change. He just shouted up. She again said she has been outside exercise and exposed to the sun, stupid. He finally went inside and she changed the subject. I was left to feel like it was wrong for me to make changes that make me feel good and look good. Those feelings quickly changed to how dare him question me. Who does he think he is: Like, he is my husband? Of course, my husband wasn't around. Yet, this man has the balls to state all this and he himself gets his hair colored because of his grays. I need advice on how to handle this in calm polite way but to make him or anyone else understand that I can and will make changes in order to make me happy and healthy. Thank you for any help, Liz

Hi Liz- Unfortunately there are jerks everywhere. I tend to use humor to handle these kinds of situations...which helps, however I do have a sharp tongue at times, so I try to be careful. If it were my brother-in-law, I would have said "Thank you for noticing how great I look. Tell me, do you color your hair at home or is it a stylist that does it for you? " If you can't respond that directly to him, then you can state "I offended by your remarks" and simply walk away. I think he is jealous and miserable, but that doesn't mean you have to let it affect you!! Try to surround yourself with supportive and positive ppl. If you can.... Good luck. vanessa

Hey Liz, I'm sure the whole thing caught you off guard and well he just might have been jealous. I kill people with kindness every time. Just smile and say "Thank you for noticing" You could also say..."new body new attitude...wait till you see the convertible I'm going to buy!!" Keep enjoying doing YOU and don't let anybody take away an ounce of your hard work. Ms Shell

Put it back on him. Ask him politely "What's your purpose in doing this?" He probably won't understand what you're asking the first time. You could say something like "Well, I know you're not the kind of person who would say things like this to embarrass or belittle me, so what's your purpose in making these comments?" Don't even accept that he might be trying to shame or embarrass you, because he can't do that if you don't let him. We both know he was trying to embarrass you, either that or he's got the social skills of a baboon. But this, way, you keep your dignity. The guy was a jerk, and you didn't deserve this to happen to you. I'm sorry it did. Here's a cool quote for you "NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION" ~Eleanor Roosevelt. Be proud of yourself. You've worked hard to make yourself healthy. Keep up the good work.