1) 1415 - % were horrid - eating was way off - a bad day for me eating wise. *sigh* 2) 1 hour light cardio / weight training upper body - 300 calories 3) yes! even stocked up - cuz I was running low on a few vitamins 4)100 ounces 5) Mentally was gung ho to have a great day .... Got frustrated early this morning and turnned to food got at that and made more bad choices .... I POSTED *It matters EVERY SINGLE TIME!* and ...welll. UGH!!!! 5) I realized in logging my food today that my COFFEE creamer and I have to end our love affair at 280 cals (for my 2 huge cups) 13 fat - 40 carbs .... its gotta go - NOT A WISE CHOICE ... SO tomorrow I am starting my day with a hugs cup of decaf tea 14 cal with splenda. I'd rather EAT somthing nutritional sound that DRINK my cals. A big WLS 6) take it a moment / a day at a time and give myself credit along the day. 7) get back to 142 note - tomorrow is a new day - I realized I have to make changes! I can't have * my coffee creamer* and still have my weight loss ... I NEED TO MAKE WISE CHOICES hugs, Britty

Corinna, Just to put your mind at ease.. I am one of those people that will probably never be able to afford PS, but don't EVER feel guilty... If you are lucky enough to be able to afford it, you want it, then go for it.... I know about 7 years ago I was researching tubal reversals... A lot of women were going to Mexico and I heard a lot of mixed reviews about that... some great outcomes and some horror stories... I still went out of state for my surgery to save money, but I wanted the standard of care that we have here in the US with the guidelines and regulations.... If I were in your situation and had the money to have PS I would definitely pay the extra cash to stay here in the US, I really think that follow up care could make a big difference. I also wouldn't worry that you don't have a huge flap of skin, if you are uncomfortable with the skin that you have and can get it taken care of, why not???? The decision is ultimately up to you and only you, but I would not feel guilty for wanting PS or that you can afford it, while others can't.... Just make sure to always count your blessings and be glad that you CAN afford it.... Good Luck with your decision... Keep us posted on what you are going to do... HUGS, Shawn M.

Great idea! Of course there are tons of them but here are a "few" of my top choices. 1. I get to buy normal clothes. 2. I have tons more confidence in general and everyone can see it. 3. people don't look through me anymore 4. I actually like to see pictures of myself 5. I have lots of energy 6. I can walk for hours and my feet aren't killing me 7. I can walk up hills and stairs without dying 8. I can fit in airplane seats even the middle one comfortably, movie theater seats, restaurant booths 9. I can buy rings and necklaces anywhere 10. I am much healthier 11. I can walk into an audition and know they will actually listen to me now instead of just marking me off as being another fat soprano that they'll never use. 12. I get flirted with...I love that. 13. People tell me I'm beautiful and there is no silent "if only she wasn't so heavy..." at the end of it. 14. I get to shop at Victoria Secret and buy sexy lingerie 15. I don't feel like people are watching me eat and thinking..."she's so fat, she shouldn't be eating that" 16. I just feel good about myself 17. I don't feel hopeless anymore 18. I don't feel like a failure anymore. Okay...that was more than a few but I feel every single one of them! Corinna Q

Hope you don't mind but I need to purge some of the thoughts racing around in my head. It's a little long... As I think I've mentioned I am at the stage where I am actually starting consultations and such for plastic surgery. While I've been doing my research I've discovered I could potentially save almost $15,000 by going to Mexico to get surgery done. Of course the idea of not meeting the surgeon before hand, not seeing the facilities, a five hour plane ride 10 days after surgery, and the biggie, no post op care when I get home are big for me. But there are lots of stories from girls on these forums that have had excellent results and experiences going to Mexico. I do believe there are surgeons down there that are just as qualified and have just as good of facilities as those in the US. It's a matter of research. So am I just being frivolous with the money by wanting the comfort of being at home? What about all of the people on these boards that can't even consider PS because it's cost so much and they just have to live with it. Makes me feel even worse that I'd be willing to throw an extra $15k around. Then I start thinking about the fact that physcially I don't need PS. I don't get rashes or any of that kind of stuff because of hanging skin. It would be purely cosmetic. How can I justify spending that much money on something I don't need. Then I start thinking...well, maybe all this skin that I hate is just punishment for being fat my whole life and I should just live with it. Which I know is a totally silly thing to think but there ya go. I do know that emotionally this is a big deal for me. To finally have the body I've always longed for would be amazing. I know it's not going to be perfect, it's not going to look like I've been thin all my life and I'll have a major scar but at least it will be much closer than it is now! So maybe it's not necessary physically for me, and I know how lucky I am that it isn't, but emotionally it's essential. I'll never be at ease or confident in myself with this flabby skin hanging around. I guess I just never thought I would have these kinds of doubts and conflicts about having PS. I always intended to do it, always knew it would cost me a whole big chunk of change so why are these kinds of doubts and worries now plaguing me? So that's my story for today...fun, huh? Thanks for listening! Corinna Q

Deidrah, We missed you but I understand that your sister needs you. I have thought of her often and cannot imagine how hard it is for her. Sorry to hear you are having trouble keeping food down. I had a bit of an episode last night after dinner. I ate moussaka (healthy, healthy version with plain yogurt and lowfat cheese top) and the amount was reasonable. Maybe I ate too fast too but I almost threw it back up and felt lousy for about 30 minutes. Stay strong and slay that carb monster! He's chasing me too! CeCe