I went to my PCP today and I'm up 6 lbs. from the last time I was there right before my surgery. She said I'm doing well, even if it is going slow, to try not to be discouraged. She said she could see I'm starting to fill out ever so slightly in the face. Said my subcutaneous fat is starting to come back and fill in the gaunt hollows and wrinkles I have. I am still not back to work, or feeling enough energy to have a formal exercise plan. When I do get permission, I will start walking and then doing some weightlifiting to help re-build my muscles. My eating plan is to try to eat more by mouth to 1) gain, and 2) be able to cycle off the feeding tube. As it is, I'm still on it 23 hours a day. I've had trouble eating much by mouth because of this constricting spasm feeling I get when I eat. It goes on over and over for about 1/2 an hour after eating. It feels like there is something stuck and it's trying to move down but won't. Painful. Will be addressing that at my appt. on Thursday with my surgeon. I also will be asking why I'm not gaining more rapidly. I am taking in 1,800 calories a day on the tube alone, and probably about 100-200 calories by mouth. At 5'4" and 96 lbs., that should be enough to get me gaining. Plans for the rest of the week are pretty full. Tomorrow I take my cat back to the kitty shelter I got him at 6 years ago. It will be a sad day. Thursday I have my appt. with my surgeon, Friday my stepson comes over for the weekend. This weekend we may go see the All breed dog show (Rose City Invitational I think it's called). They will be televising it. I've never been to a dog show before, but they look like fun. And it sounds like a fun family activity that won't wear me out too much. We also have a support group meeting breakfast scheduled Sunday I'm looking forward to. Our Oregon group is really great. And we haven't seen each other since before Christmas. I bought a few more work clothes recently at this cool resale store. I got a dress with matching jacket, two suits-one with pants and one with a skirt. I got an Ann Taylor spring flax skirt and beautiful olive blazer to go with it. And a bunch of short sleeve sweaters to wear under. I love it when I can find 100% cashmere sweaters for $6! That's about it until next week when I plan to work on my appeal for the denial I got on my long term disability claim. Ugh! Paperwork!

Shawn, taking care of yourself is more important than any job! Work is overrated!!! When I was suffering from depression, I ended up taking off work twice before finally deciding to just give it up! If it's at all possible, I hope you can take plenty of time to see that the meds are exactly where they need to be and you are in a "good" place before putting any additional responsibility on yourself. If you're anything like me, it's the pressure we put on ourselves that does us in! We expect so much more from ourselves than others would ever expect! I'm glad you got on that treadmill again too! Next time I'm on the treadmill, I'm going to think about you being on yours and stay on an extra 5 minutes or so while we have a "talk!" CeCe

Wanda, Wow! Guess my munchies and paranoia have to do with the hemp!!! Just kidding! It's been a couple of months since I was reading about the hemp seeds on the Internet so I can't remember all the benefits but it sounded good and I like the crunch! I think there's good fiber in it too! I'm a sucker for trying "new" stuff! How romantic that you and Randy will get to spend a night together!!! If you skip the bread and potato and order some nice asparagus or steamed veggies, a good steak place would be nice or a good seafood restaurant! Tell them "no bread" if you're a sucker for it like me!!! How nice that you get to see your hubby! CeCe

I sure wish I had more time for exercise. This work stuff really gets in my way! I did my 60 minutes of cardio to burn 400 calories before going to work this morning. You've peeked my interest with your hemp seeds. Do you feel mellow and have the munchies after eating them. I think you will like the Beck Diet Solution. I bought an audio version and listen to it on my way to work. I have to attend a worker's comp trial in Tampa on Thursday so I'm going to go spend the night down there Wednesday. Randy has been there all week for an RV show. I'm sure he will want to take me to dinner so I'll have to be very careful. Eating out is usually a diet buster for me. I will make sure I get my exercise in before I get down there. Hope you all have a great day! Wanda

OK, here's the tilapia recipe that I love so much: 4 Tilapia filets 1/4 c. Parmesan cheese 1/8 c. butter, softened 1.5 T. Mayo 1 T. Lemon Juice 1/8 t. Basil 1/8 t. pepper 1/16 t. onion powder 1/16 t. celery salt Raise oven rack to highest position. Mix topping and keep refrigerated until used. Line baking sheet w/foil and spray w/cooking spray. Broil 3 minutes, turn fish over and broil another 3 minutes. Spread topping evenly over fish. Broil for 2 minutes until browned. If the topping slides off just scoop it up and put it back on! Watch it closely so the topping doesn't burn. Enjoy! 230 calories, 23g protein, 1g carb