"....well who is really the saboteur (sp?) ME, ME, ME, ME, ME! I have a food addiction and I still can not control myself." Valorie, I hear you & I understand your frustration. *we* can be our own worst enemy with self sabotage-- can't we??? That makes me crazy - we have enough decisions to make throughout the day, temptations ... are a part of everyday for us - we certainly do not need to be adding to that! We have an addiction to food. I can be doing so well and make a bad choice and wonder *why* did I do that???? again self sabotage ... I give you credit for coming and posting .... we cannot let ourselves stray from this group - this *our* place to SUPPORT each other. As you can see most of us have struggled - as of late ... a s WAKE UP CALL - This is W O R K ... and I think the truth is ... it will be each and every day. I have NO DOUBTS that you will be back at ONEderland and stay put there! CONGRATS ON LOSING 4.6 POUNDS that is freaking A MA Z I N G!!! You have a lot to be celebrating!!! 4.6 and you are *true* to yourself hugs, Britt

Val, I know this wasn't an easy post to write but I'll bet EVERY single one of us could have written it! Hey, none of us is perfect! Those temptations are coming at us fast and furious now and it's harder and harder to resist because we have "pushed the envelope" and we now know what we think we can tolerate. Sometimes we've even found we can really push the calories and choices and it doesn't show up on the scale so we push harder next time! I honestly NEVER thought that I would be able to eat as much and as many "unhealthy" foods as I can. I never dreamed it would be this hard to continue to eat healthy. Like most everyone thinks, I thought I would be able to eat only small amounts. I knew that it wouldn't be a tablespoon or so like at the beginning but I didn't dream I would be able to eat a good serving of meat and a veggie or two and then a few hours later do that again! In the past when I've been extra strict in my diet, I've always overcompensated later. I know that I've felt better and more in control when I try to do a day or even part of a day on liquids but I always wonder if my subconscious doesn't feel deprived very quickly and go to the other extreme a few days later. I know that I can be an all or nothing person and my emotions can dictate my reaction to food temptation. I don't know if your early in the week liquids had anything to do with your eating too much on the weekend or not. It could have been reaching Onederland! Like you said, you felt you deserved the celebration! It could be that little bit of "fear" at reaching that milestone too. Remember, I once posted that I hit 199 MANY times in my past weight loss before staying there any length of time. So, don't do that! You DESERVE to be under 200. You don't have to sabotage yourself! Weekends are VERY hard for me too. I think I use my husband as an excuse to overdo it on the weekend! I sometimes tend to imagine that he has to suffer through when he really benefits as much as I do by healthy eating! So, when we are out weekends and he asks what we are going to eat, I jump at the chance to ask him if he wants to go to a restaurant. I know what I had planned to cook but I love going out too! Even if I order healthy, I am guilty of taking a few bites of whatever he has and even eating a few bites of his dessert when I wouldn't have dared do that before. So, Valorie, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and, while you are at it, pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to "confess" it all! I loved your post and can relate to it 1000%! You will see the 190s again VERY soon because most of that gain is FLUID retention from the junk! CeCe

Val, One time one of my class participants was in a square dancing group that was having an exhibition at an outdoor fair. I went to watch not knowing that I would be recruited for a very public lesson! I felt stupid but had a very good time! Never in my life did I think I would EVER square dance!!! Now I watch Dancing with the Stars and think that I wouldn't mind taking a few lessons with my husband. Neither one of us has much dancing talent but I think I'd like to try! Believe me, even teaching aerobic choreography can be challenging for me but at least as the instructor, I can CHOOSE it! CeCe

Phyllis, Boy, I call that SPRING CLEANING!!!!! Taking the computer apart??? I hope you just meant it was unplugged and moved across the room! Otherwise I'm going to think you are REALLY obsessed with cleaning!!! Just teasing! Welcome back! CeCe

Great job!!!! I'm sure going to take your advice and make those good food choices!!! I did pretty well today! I talked myself right out of the kitchen this afternoon when I knew I wasn't hungry but just looking to graze! CeCe