Weekly Weigh In week of 4/7/08

OH, Kim! I'm so sorry! What a mess! Here you are finally feeling better and ready to enjoy life again and it slaps you in the face! Dealing with hubby and the kids as well as getting back into the swing of things at work! I commend you for taking care of yourself by going to the therapist. She's right - now that you are better the family can act out again. Sad but true! Stay strong and don't let your health suffer! I hope they will all settle down and work on their own issues! Just realize that even though you are healthier, you can't FIX them and don't let it drag you down! Vent here all you need to! Keep us updated! CeCe

Hey Kim, Glad that you are here and had a minute to update us. Please know that you are in my prayers! Can you catch a break girl ??? Jeesh! It sounds like you are handeling everything pretty darn good - stay strong. You family is BLESSED to have you hang in there, Britt

Better late than never. Ok, so you guys know I hit Onederland this week. Did I maintain the loss? Well let me tell how my week went. Monday- liquid protein and water- very strict Tuesday- liquid protein and water-very strict Wednesday- liquid protein plus solid protein- chicken and boiled shrimp plus lots of water- good day Thursday- Onederland-lots of protein, good carbs and oh yeah- 2 biscotti- carmel praline something and 110 calories each- I had to celebrate the 199 mark right? Friday- good breakfast- salad for lunch with grilled chicken and yeah another biscotti-I had a box of 8 in my desk that someone gave me- all in all not too bad to have only eaten 1 Saturday- ate out with the family- bbq pork, mac and cheese, baked beans and oh yeah pineapple creme cake to go- ate the whole pc in bed before I went to sleep for the night---have I learned nothing during the last year and 4 months? Sunday- lazy Sunday, I made a big pot of veggie soup for the week, (way to plan right?) that was dinner- breakfast and lunch were ok- Oh yeah- did I mention the 2 helping of apple pie w/ ice cream? yep 2 helpings ( NOT SMALL ONES EITHER) at differnet times of the day. How do I go form being so strict and on plan, to eating apple pie and ice cream within one week? Something is wrong with me! I always whine about my co-workers and their sabotage....well who is really the saboteur (sp?) ME, ME, ME, ME, ME! I have a food addiction and I still can not control myself. Truth is: I had every intention of lying to you all today. I was going to tell you all that I was still at 199. Truth is: My scale read 201.4 this morning. That is why my husband hid it last night. He knew what I had eaten throughout the day and he knew I wasn't going to be happy this morning. I had to beg, plead and swear "not to care" what the scale said. The good news is: Last week: 206 Today: 201.4 Loss: 4.6 lbs Bad news is that I blew my Onederland. Thanks for putting up with me...I appreciate you all. Hugs, Valorie

Val, I know this wasn't an easy post to write but I'll bet EVERY single one of us could have written it! Hey, none of us is perfect! Those temptations are coming at us fast and furious now and it's harder and harder to resist because we have "pushed the envelope" and we now know what we think we can tolerate. Sometimes we've even found we can really push the calories and choices and it doesn't show up on the scale so we push harder next time! I honestly NEVER thought that I would be able to eat as much and as many "unhealthy" foods as I can. I never dreamed it would be this hard to continue to eat healthy. Like most everyone thinks, I thought I would be able to eat only small amounts. I knew that it wouldn't be a tablespoon or so like at the beginning but I didn't dream I would be able to eat a good serving of meat and a veggie or two and then a few hours later do that again! In the past when I've been extra strict in my diet, I've always overcompensated later. I know that I've felt better and more in control when I try to do a day or even part of a day on liquids but I always wonder if my subconscious doesn't feel deprived very quickly and go to the other extreme a few days later. I know that I can be an all or nothing person and my emotions can dictate my reaction to food temptation. I don't know if your early in the week liquids had anything to do with your eating too much on the weekend or not. It could have been reaching Onederland! Like you said, you felt you deserved the celebration! It could be that little bit of "fear" at reaching that milestone too. Remember, I once posted that I hit 199 MANY times in my past weight loss before staying there any length of time. So, don't do that! You DESERVE to be under 200. You don't have to sabotage yourself! Weekends are VERY hard for me too. I think I use my husband as an excuse to overdo it on the weekend! I sometimes tend to imagine that he has to suffer through when he really benefits as much as I do by healthy eating! So, when we are out weekends and he asks what we are going to eat, I jump at the chance to ask him if he wants to go to a restaurant. I know what I had planned to cook but I love going out too! Even if I order healthy, I am guilty of taking a few bites of whatever he has and even eating a few bites of his dessert when I wouldn't have dared do that before. So, Valorie, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and, while you are at it, pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to "confess" it all! I loved your post and can relate to it 1000%! You will see the 190s again VERY soon because most of that gain is FLUID retention from the junk! CeCe

CeCe, Thank you for your encouraging words. I had to grab a tissue as I sat at my desk reading your reply. Ultimately, I made the right decision to own up to my "unplanned eating" as Beck would call it. I am glad you guys offer a safe place without judgement for me to fess up. I don't think I would have been as comfortable in any other forum or board. Your scenario of asking you hubby where he wants to eat made me laugh! I am so guilty of trying to use DH as an excuse to eat badly. That is how the apple pie came into our home. I "rationalized" that David would love some pie for Sunday night dessert. After all, the only thing I made for dinner was vegetable soup- no fat, no meat- like the cabbage soup diet type. Funny thing was, he didn't eat a bite of the pie till I made him take the remainders with him to work on Monday. I told him to eat it or give it away, but for Heaven's sake, make it disappear before I did. You are right to say that they benefit as much as we do from healthy eating. David has dropped about 30 lbs in the past year and half. He looks and feels better too and never complains when I cook "healthy" or even if I don't cook at all. Thanks again for the comforting words. You are the BEST! Hugs, Valorie

"....well who is really the saboteur (sp?) ME, ME, ME, ME, ME! I have a food addiction and I still can not control myself." Valorie, I hear you & I understand your frustration. *we* can be our own worst enemy with self sabotage-- can't we??? That makes me crazy - we have enough decisions to make throughout the day, temptations ... are a part of everyday for us - we certainly do not need to be adding to that! We have an addiction to food. I can be doing so well and make a bad choice and wonder *why* did I do that???? again self sabotage ... I give you credit for coming and posting .... we cannot let ourselves stray from this group - this *our* place to SUPPORT each other. As you can see most of us have struggled - as of late ... a s WAKE UP CALL - This is W O R K ... and I think the truth is ... it will be each and every day. I have NO DOUBTS that you will be back at ONEderland and stay put there! CONGRATS ON LOSING 4.6 POUNDS that is freaking A MA Z I N G!!! You have a lot to be celebrating!!! 4.6 and you are *true* to yourself hugs, Britt

Britt, You are sooooo sweet! I was expecting to be scolded thoroughly but all I got was LOVE. You and everyone on this board are the kindest people on Earth. Even when one of us stumbles, you pick us up and help us on our way. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am proud of myself for having the courage to post. I just felt so out of control. How can such strong people give such control of their life over to something like food? I can't wrap my head around it. If it were a person telling us to do something we know to be wrong, we would tell them where to get off. How can we have such little power/control over our own brain? I guess that is what makes it a disease-addiction is a disease. Plain and simple. Anyway, I did well yesterday. I ate according to plan and did a water aerobics class at the gym. Today has been well too. I am starting my "one day at a time" approach to weight loss. Actually, for me, it is one moment at a time. I am on track at this moment. I am very pleased at my 4.6 lb loss for the week. I DO NOT CHOOSE to let my "unplanned eating" ruin the progress I made. Hugs, Valorie

SOUNDS LIKE YOU .... mean business! love it! taking it 1 day at at time is SMART! LUV & HUGS, Britt

Its been a while since I visited this board. Everyone looks FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!! Its hard to believe that almost a year and a half ago we started this journey that seemed like it would take FOREVER! For me, its been one of the most fantastic rides of my life. I have always been the fat girl of the family. Its hard to believe that I am smaller than most of them now. I dont have exact weight stats but heres the bottom line..... Starting weight 320 Current weight 160 I have literally lost half of me. That half is gone forever!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marla, Let me just say WELCOME BACK! You are AMAZING! Losing half of your body weight....WOW! We all know how hard you had to work to get there. Join us again soon. We love to hear from everyone who started the journey with us. Hugs, Valorie