IT MATTERS EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!

I know many of you were reading and following The Beck Diet Solution a few months ago. Having bookshelves full of "diet" books, I didn't buy it then but after scaring myself with my eating behaviors lately, I picked it up and bought it. I skimmed several chapters and saw it does pertain to me and Cognitive therapy is what really helped me through a couple of tough depressions about 10 or so years ago. So, last night I'm reading the beginning of the book and one sentence on page 18 really hit me between the eyes. Judith Beck is talking about our sabotaging thoughts and how we can talk back to ourselves. I'm the QUEEN of negative self-talk and I'm always telling myself that I'll "do well" tomorrow and I won't buy such and such again but when I read "it matters every single time" I realized that's the mindset I need to have. It matters when we reach out and pick something up when we aren't hungry or when we are tempted by something that we know isn't a good choice for our post-WLS bodies. It matters every single time because we are forming HABITS. If we do it once, we are more tempted to do it again and again. Habits are hard to break. Some habits make us feel bad and guilty. Some habits lead to denial. Bad habits lead us to rationalize. Habits create a lifestyle and our lifestyles determine our destinies. I'm very uncomfortable with the habit of grazing I'm developing. Like Judith Beck says, every time I graze, every time I eat something that I've lived without for over a year, every time I don't listen to the little voice inside me asking why I am eating if I'm not hungry or if I'm overeating, it makes it much more likely that I'll give in to temptation and do it again and again. I don't want to feel out of control. I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to be obsessed with guilt. I want to feel successful. I want to have a healthy relationship with food, using it as fuel for my body not being addicted and a slave to it. Yet, I'm not feeling really strong again yet so here's my interim plan. I'm going to imagine one of you looking over my shoulder when I'm tempted. I'm going to imagine you giving me support at that moment. I'm going to imagine if I would make the choice I'm about to make if you were present. I'm going to imagine you saying to me: "It matters every single time and you are strong enough to turn away and resist." I need you guys to help me strengthen my Temptation Muscle. If you have read this book or you have any other thoughts, meditations or whatever that help you, let us know what they are. Today I am going to work my plan. I'm going to the gym in a few minutes and have a good workout. I'm going to recognize and pat myself on the back for my good choices and behavior and I'm going to remember that the choices I make today do matter because IT MATTERS EVERY SINGLE TIME! CeCe

YOU imspiried me to take the book off my shelf and START it today! hugs, Britt

CeCe - Wow thanks for sharing. I must have slept throught the discussion of this book before. I am definately going to Amazon right now to purchase it. I am a big reader. I am almost finished with one called Winning after Loosing so perfect timing. You inspired me today. I need a keychain or something that says ... It matters every time! I love it. You can do it girl keep up the great work. Trudy

You are so right It matters every single time. I started the book and then put it down because those pesky holidays got in the way, so I'm starting again today and I know that you guys will be looking over my shoulder. Deb

That's been my philosphy lately. Each time does matter. This is off-topic, but I'm trying to remember that each time I have an interaction with someone else. Each time I talk to one of my employees--eveything I say and do matters. Each time I have an interaction with anyone in my family--IT MATTERS. Sometimes what I say or do is long forgotten by me, but the other person remembers it for a long time. My daughter is 32 years old and she can still recite word for word my advice to her in her childhood! We never realize the impact of our words. I want my words to be fullfilling, life affirming, and uplifting! Sorry for the bump to your post, but it's the same concept as you were discussing. I agree with strengthening our resistance muscles by not giving in to temptation. Once I relaxed my stance, I fell day after day. This is how I've always failed each time I lost weight. I will join you in strengthening that muscle! Wanda

Oh, Wanda, how inspiring! I'm so focused on the eating issue right now that I didn't even think how our interactions matter! I was thinking of how my negative self-talk hurts me but failed to think about what I say and do has so much impact on others! It does matter every time! I'm one of those people who never takes up for themselves in public but I can snap off to my husband quickly! I get over it even quicker but, having been raised by a very critical mother and a father who was there but didn't get involved, I was hurt by cutting comments but I found myself making the same type of comments with my daughter and husband. I've mellowed greatly over the years but I can still spit out some hurtful words now and then. So, thank you, Wanda, for reminding us all that "it matters every single time" we choose words as well as food! CeCe