I've Fallen and Can't Get Up!

After my first surgery (October), I stopped logging my food. At some point I knew I was eating too much and too often, but I was afraid to count calories again. Last week I did count. I was over 2,000 calories. It didn't come as a surprise. I'm still not able to reel myself back in totally. I hate this out-of-control feeling. On a good note, I started exercising again. So far just cardio, but at least I'm burning calories. I refuse to go to wor****il I burn at least 400 calories. Good thing I'm the boss because sometimes it takes longer than I planned! Have any of you pulled yourself out of a nose-dive? If so, I'm ready to listen to any advice you may have! I'm a little scared that I can't turn it around. Wanda

Good morning, Wanda! I know I've been MIA for a week or more. I think I'm still recovering from my long trip! I've gone back to work (well, teaching my classes - it's hardly WORK!) and I'm working out pretty hard again - finally! The plastic surgeon cleared me for any exercise even though my husband tried to tell him "you don't know her, she overdoes EVERYTHING!" But, Wanda, I know what you are talking about! The visit and holidays opened the doors to overeating for me and I'm having a heck of a time getting back to normal. Like you, I haven't been keeping close track of it and late at night when I start adding it up in my head I wonder how I managed to eat as many times or let it add up like that. I feel out of control too and every morning I made a promise to mysel to get back to basics. By evening, I've failed. It HAS to stop because I know I can't keep getting away with it. One reason I haven't written is that I've been sick several times from what I've eaten or how much and Wednesday I literally thought I would die or have to go to the hospital by ambulance. I had eaten 1/2 of a white pizza bagel. I had eaten the other half for lunch and had no problem but when I warmed up the second half, I don't know whether I ate it too fast or what but I was vomiting, had violent diarrhea, the sweat was pouring off me and the PAIN was just about the worst I'd ever had. That went on for well over an hour. My husband found me and said I looked worse than I ever had. I couldn't even talk and all I could say was put cold cloths on me. Oh, God, it was horrible but the next day in DC I was eating way too much again! So, Wanda, let's pledge to get back on the wagon! I've been LUCKY so far with my weight, in fact, this morning I was down another 1/4 pound but I know that is pure LUCK because I don't deserve it!!! So, you're not alone, Wanda, but we are in a BAD and DANGEROUS place right now!!! Let's do something about it! We've had confession! Now we have to take action! CeCe

Well, it sounds like we are pretty much in the same place.  On the bright side--we are aware and we want to change it.  It's so much easier to stay on track rather than to get back on track.  If I don't change I know I will soon be 150 pounds...then 160...then 175...My weight has bounced around a lot since my surgeries.  Today I'm 134, but I truely don't deserve it!  I think I will start to gain a few pounds next week when I start weight training again.I went back to the gym this week and I committed myself to burning 400-500 calories per day.  My stomach muscles still feel weird and my boobs aren't right yet so I've been afraid to do anything other than the eliptical.  However, I have been cleared for any exercise so maybe I just need to get in there and do it! I agree with you--we are in a dangerous place.  All of the old thoughts start to come back like extreme diets---diet pills--herbal supplements--all the crazy extreme things that I used to do.  But really all we need to do is to get back to our basics.  So let's do it! Anybody else out there in the same boat as me and CeCe?  If so, come on along!  We'll do it together!Wanda

For me I have to have a little talk with myself. Want to remain a Size 4 Britt? YES!!!!! Want to feel good inside and out? YES!!!! Want to stay *at goal? YES!!!!!! Want to go back to the old you Britt? NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you are a determine person, like me. Set forth a challenge for yourself and KICK BUTT - 1) you realize you off track 2) it bothers you that you are off track 3) you already "checked yourself" on fitday 4) you are back at the gym (with a great 400 calories rule!) 5) you are WANDA! YOU have come sooooo far and YOU are determined NEVER - EVER to go back to where you were! allllllllll GREAT things! I am here to cheer for you! I can understand where you are coming from- the HOLIDAYS were HARD for me eatiing wise! I ate wayyyyy to much and tooo many of the "wrong things" that I know better - It's scary - I now I could gain back EVERY pound i've lost - I could easily fall back into my old eating habits - however I REMAIN deterimed not too! - What it comes down to is ....I am the one who is responsible to get my butt back on board - so I decided to give myself a 90 challenge - It feels great to be back on track! Hugs, Britt

I am with you I am having a terrible time with my eating, I did the 5 day pouch test and seriously thought I would die if I had to eat like this forever. I really thought getting back to the basics would really help but after 3 days of continuously thinking about food I don't think I'm in a better place. I am keeping up with my exercise but have never been good about tracking my food. So I'm going to attempt to do it this week. I am so scared to start gaining weight back I don't want to be one of the statistics that gained all her weight back that scares the heck out of me. I went to the graduates group last week for support group. Most of the people are continuing to be successful but people are slowly gaining the weight back or never lost all they wanted to initially. I really want to loose a little more so that's bothering me along with the gaining the past couple weeks. Thanks for all the support from you guys. It's really important to stay connected. I think the weekly weighin keeps us accountable Deb

First, let me say---your new avitar looks fantastic! Wow! I understand and share your fears. It's probably because I've never had long term success before. But Deb, we are different now. Look at us--we exercise all of the time. We are paying attention to what we eat. At least we are aware of our overeating. I wouldn't have even noticed that I was overeating before. We are reaching out when we mess up. I would have just isolated before. Yes, WE ARE DIFFERENT! We can do this. We will do this. Let's keep doing what we are doing right and improve upon what we are doing that's not right! Wanda